Stitch Heroes
by Ri2
Summary: Dr. Hamsterviel has unleashed his ultimate plan to rule the universe. Against this threat, even Stitch is helpless. It's a good thing he won't be fighting alone...
1. Evil lives on

After the smashing success of Wrath of the Damned, I'm back with a new story that all of you will hopefully enjoy. Read on!

...

Disclaimer: I own none of the Disney characters in this story. Also note that this story is slightly, and I mean SLIGHTLY, based off of Sonic Heroes. What can I say, it's a great game!

Deep within the Xenon sector, there was an asteroid.

Deep within the asteroid, there was a laboratory.

Deep within the laboratory, there was a scientist.

Deep within the scientist, there was evil…

Inside his hidden stronghold, Dr. Jacques Von Hamsterviel sat down before his computer terminal. "Computer! Have all my files, inventions and data been fully transferred yet?"

"Affirmative."

"Excellent. Activate the teleporter!"

"Please name coordinates."

"Horse Head Nebula, Flagship, Specimen containment chamber."

"Processing." A teleporter was lowered from the ceiling. "Teleporter is primed and ready."

"Good." Hamsterviel stepped into the teleporter. "Three seconds after I have departed, activate the Omega Contingency."

"Affirmative."

Hamsterviel vanished in a flash of light.

Three seconds later, prison asteroid K37 exploded.

…

Hamsterviel reappeared somewhere in the Horse Head Nebula, the darkest place in the galaxy, aside from all the black holes. Hamsterviel stepped out of the teleporter and into a gigantic room the size of a small city with hundreds of empty cells lining the walls. A huge containment field holding a gargantuan monster the size of twenty blue whales glued together with the CN Tower and former World Trade Center dominated the chamber. It was a grotesque fusion of metal and flesh, with construction robots running all over its surface, mending damage and placing life-support machinery.

Hamsterviel grinned and walked over to the containment field, gleefully looking over his project. "Soon, my friend…" he murmured. "Soon you will be completed. And the entire universe will kneel before us." The doctor almost thought he saw the beast's eyes gleam at this, but wrote it off as a problem with the lighting. The doctor walked over to a console. "Computer! What is the progress on the Project?"

The computer lit up and displayed the requested information.

_Superstructure: 87% and rising._

DNA reparation: 35% completed. Need more DNA.

Uburnium reserves: 15% full. Need more Uburnium.

Soul Vacuum: 100% operational.

Soul: .3% full.

Hamsterviel nodded to himself. "Good, good, just as I expected." He turned and headed back for the teleporter. "I shall go and obtain the necessary resources myself. Continue work on the Project."

The computer beeped. "Affirmative, Doctor Hamsterwheel."

The genius gritted his teeth and stepped back into the teleporter, resetting the coordinates. He vanished. The beast in the containment field lay silent, slumbering until the day it would be complete. The dark day when it finally awoke would surely be the beginning of the Apocalypse.

…

Hamsterviel reappeared in his spaceship. He headed to the bridge and seated himself in his cushioned throne. "Everything is coming into place. Soon I will have everything I need to conquer the universe." He cackled. "Computer! Set a new heading!"

"State destination."

"Planet Earth!"

"Processing."

The ship changed course and began charging up its hyperdrive. A robot arm lowered and poured wine into a glass next to the diminutive dictator's seat. Hamsterviel grabbed the glass and took a sip. He smirked. "Today marks the dawn of the greatest empire in history! Long live the Hamsterviel Empire!" He raised his glass in a toast to himself. "Hamsterviel forever! HAMSTERVIEL FOREVER!"

In a burst of speed, the ship went into hyperspace. If sound could travel through space, the mad doctor's laughter would have echoed across the cosmos, warning all sentient life that the end was near.

…

And so begins my newest saga. Let's hope it's as good as the last one.


	2. Preparations

Wow, nearly ten reviews for my first chapter alone! I hope this will be a continuing tread for the rest of the story. I'm sad to say this chapter will have some angst, mostly from Stitch. You'll see what I mean.

Story Weaver1, Hamsterviel blew up the prison to fake his death and make it easier to commit his evil. I can't promise that this story will be less tragic than the last, but I'll cut down on the blood and gore.

Evil-Genius-565, you think you know what the monster is? Go ahead, tell me. I don't even have a name for the thing yet!

Anonymous, if you may recall, Hamsterviel was totally surprised by his own power when 001 attacked him. You're assuming he learned how to control this weird ability sometime after he 'died', when in actuality he forgot all about it. That's why he never used it on the show. He only learned about it again later on, somewhere in the timeline of my stories. More on that later.

TSORA86, this is indeed the sequel I promised.

…

Stitch immediately knew it was going to be a bad day when he woke up that morning.

He had fallen out of bed sometime during the night and so he woke up on the cold, hard floor. The radio alarm clock blared some crap that called itself music, waking him up frantically from old nightmares. Also, Lilo was already out of bed, a sign that she was downstairs working with Jumba.

It had been a year since Hunkahunka's revenge, and it had not been a completely happy year either. Nearly a hundred experiments had died in the horrible final battle against Hamsterviel's forces, including Tank and Hunkahunka himself. Their corpses had been destroyed using Jumba's molecular dissociator to keep their DNA from ever being used for evil. A large memorial had been built on the battlefield to honor their deaths. Stitch had grown moody and depressed, blaming himself for the deaths of his cousins. It had been his fault that Hunkahunka had been tortured to the brink of insanity, resulting in his brutal attack on the island. His depression had eased somewhat over time, but it had still succeeded in driving away his beloved Angel and making him feel somewhat alienated by his family.

It didn't help that Lilo didn't spend as much time with him anymore. What with schoolwork, experiment hunting, and being tutored by Jumba in the ways of magic, she had little time for anything else. They had managed to tame and relocate approximately three hundred new experiments thanks to her new training and Jumba's occasional spellcasting, but Stitch still felt somewhat lonely. His cousins were good friends, yes, but Lilo was his first friend, practically his sister. She was special. It hurt that she didn't have as much time for him anymore.

Jumba and Pleakley were no longer very good friends. Jumba still blamed Pleakley for Tank's death, and Pleakley blamed himself for hurting Jumba in this manner. On the outside they both seemed fine, but if something was not done soon there would be a very painful confrontation. Other than that, they were fine. Pleakley continued to clean the house and cook inedible food, while Jumba spent most of his time teaching his apprentice Lilo the ways of magic (and a little evil science, too.)

Surprisingly, Nani was the only one who was truly happy. She had survived her encounter with 001 after months in the hospital (and a few more in therapy), and the first thing she did to celebrate her full recovery was to go out and get pregnant again. Jumba swore he had nothing to do with it this time, and he was telling the truth. It turned out to be the handiwork of the baby-making experiment 152, but that's a whole other story. Nani didn't want to abort it, and had quickly gotten engaged to David. (Since it was technically his, even though they didn't actually _do_ anything to make it. 152's fault again.) Mr. Jameson had given her a promotion and a raise to support the new family, and Nani had promised to make him Father of the Bride as thanks. (Jumba was slightly disappointed by this, but said nothing.) The wedding would be in a few months, just before Jumba predicted she'd give birth.

Stitch looked at the calendar and sagged. Today was Mr. Jameson's annual company picnic, meaning all of the extended Pelekai family would get back together for their second family reunion. That night they would all go down to the battlefield for a sobering reminder of just how lucky they were to be alive, but the day itself would probably be somewhat fun, except for all the painful memories everyone who was around last year had of the whole debacle.

Stitch had been right; this would be a bad day.

But he had no idea just how bad it would soon become.

…

Mertle Edmonds was not a happy little girl.

One year ago, she had unexpectedly fallen in love with Lilo Pelekai, the person she hated most in the entire world. To this day Mertle still had no idea why she had fallen in love, all she knew was that she had, and when she had confessed this love to Lilo, she was knocked out and stuffed in a closet. When she woke up, she no longer loved Lilo, but she felt an immediate burning hatred for her friends, who were crowded over her with looks of concern on their faces. She had surprised herself by the amount of foul language that spewed from her mouth when they took off her gag, insulting their looks and questioning their parentage. They left in tears, vowing never to have anything to do with Mertle again. Mertle herself didn't know why she had said those things, but her feelings of hate wore off the next time she took a bath.

Mertle spent weeks trying to figure out why she had done those things, but it was not until she saw Lilo make a backpack levitate towards her in school when she thought no one was looking that she realized the truth.

Lilo was a witch.

Mertle wasn't surprised, she had always thought Lilo was a witch, and this just confirmed all her suspicions. Unfortunately, there wasn't really anything she could do about it. Everyone would think she was crazy if she accused Lilo of being a witch in public, and she didn't really have a chance of burning her at the stake either. So, she spent most of her time brooding and thinking up elaborate plots to expose Lilo for the freak she was. In true cartoon style, all her plans backfired horribly and embarrassed her in front of the whole town. She was still sulking from her last failed plan and throwing darts at a picture of Lilo when her mother called for her. "Mertle honey, there's someone at the door for you!"

"Tell 'em to go away!" she yelled.

"Okay!" A few seconds later, her mom said, "He says it's very important he talks to you. His name is…what was that? Ah, his name is Dr. Hamsterwheel!"

"THAT'S HAMSTERVIEL! HAMSTERVIEL!!!" screamed you-know-who.

Mertle gasped and ran out of her room. She found Hamsterviel sitting in a hoverchair just outside her front door. "Milton!" The doctor started to open his mouth to yell. "I mean, Hamsterviel! Long time no see!" She grabbed him and ran for her room.

"Have fun!" said her mom stupidly.

Mertle slammed her bedroom door and faced the rodent. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in jail!"

Hamsterviel smirked. "I broke out. Did you really think a genius of my caliber could be imprisoned forever?"

"I guess not. But why'd you come here?"

"You and I have unfinished business. Now, am I correct in assuming you have completed all the required education your planet's educational facilities offer?"

"Um, no," said Mertle in confusion.

Hamsterviel was surprised. "No? How much longer do you have then?"

Mertle counted on her fingers. "Ten or twelve years, I think."

Hamsterviel sputtered. "Twelve years! Wait, is that in Galactic Standard Years or Earth years?"

"Earth years."

"Twelve years! That's preposterous!" Hamsterviel scowled. "I'll just have to teach you myself, then."

Mertle looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"Do you remember how I once said you would make an excellent evil assistant?" Mertle nodded. "I still believe that. I have plenty of minions now, but they're all mindless clones. I could use someone with a little brains in their head. How would you like to be my evil apprentice and aid me in conquering the universe?"

Mertle thought for a moment. "What do I get out of it?"

"Excellent pay, the chance to broaden your horizons, vengeance on that little Earth girl I know you hate, and a galaxy of your own once I rule. How's that sound?"

Mertle grinned evilly. "I'm in."

"Good! One more thing: where can I find the aforementioned Earth girl?"

Mertle scowled. "Lilo? She's going down to the beach for a big picnic. She's been bragging for days that everyone in her freakishly huge family would be attending."

A smile slowly crept onto Hamsterviel's face. "Really? How very…_convenient._"

…

Angel glanced at Stitch. He was some way down the beach, setting up a spot with the rest of his family. She sighed and lay back down on her beach towel.

"Girl, you've got it bad," said Clip from the towel next to her.

Angel scowled. "Am not! You know we're through."

Clip shrugged. "Whatever you say, Angel." She didn't sound convinced.

After the horrible incident last year, Angel and Stitch's relationship sort of fell apart. Stitch had been suffering from the guilt of causing the deaths of about a hundred family members and other people, while she was still reeling from the trauma of having her friends and coworkers slaughtered by a love-crazed fellow actor who committed suicide when she wouldn't love him. They felt uncomfortable around each other, and started getting into arguments. Loud arguments. On their last one, they had thrown heavy objects at each other while calling each other horrible things. Finally, they broke up. In an attempt to get over her depression, Angel left Kauai for a trip around the world, accompanied by Clip. After several months of adventure they had come back somewhat more cheerful, though Angel was still feeling bad about the break-up. It was clear that she still loved Stitch, but was too scared of getting into another argument like the last one to give him another chance. Not surprisingly, Stitch felt the same way. Sadly, neither of them realized this and continued to hurt themselves by denying their feelings. Classic, huh?

Finder walked over, holding some hotdogs. "Hey girls, I got the food. Anything happen while I was gone?"

"Not much, just Angel denying her feelings for Stitch again," said Clip.

Angel growled. "I am NOT in love with Stitch anymore! Can't you get that into your hairy skull by now?"

Clip frowned and rubbed her head. "Finder, do I actually have a skull?"

He sniffed the air. "Mmm…according to my Finding sense, you don't."

Clip nodded. "Yeah, I thought so." She looked off in the distance. "Hey, is that Stitch hitting on Topper?"

Angel shot up. "Where?!" Finder and Clip started laughing. Angel's face flushed. "Very funny, guys."

"Sorry. Hey, is that Stitch walking over here?" asked Finder.

Angel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that again."

"Angel?"

Angel blushed and immediately turned around to see Stitch. "Oh…hi Stitch…"

They stared at each other for a time. "Um…I've gotta go." Stitch said quickly.

"Okay…you do that."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Stitch stood there for about half a minute, then walked away. Angel sighed.

"He so digs you," said Clip.

"Shut up."

…

Hamsterviel looked at his slumbering quarry in disgust. "So this is what you've done with yourself…" he muttered. A claw extended from the side of his chair and touched the sleeper. A huge electric current ran through him, causing him to wake up screaming. Hamsterviel laughed.

His target stumbled back, then narrowed his blue eyes in fury. "Oh. It's you."

Hamsterviel got control of himself. "Yes, it's me. Long time no see, Gantu." He whistled. "You've really let yourself go, haven't you?"

In the last year, Gantu had been forced to become a hobo. He lived in the alleys and dark corners of the town, stealing food from garbage cans and dumpsters and spending any money he could find on liquor to drown his sorrows. His ribs were protruding from lack of nourishment, and his muscular physique had sagged somewhat. He also smelled horrible due to his inability to bathe and looked somewhat ill. "What do you want?" Gantu growled. At one point he would have ripped the doctor in half for what he had done to his life, but he was currently far too weak to do so.

"I have a job opening you're perfect for. Seeing as how you have no other chance of a future but this, I thought you might be interested."

"Well, I'm not. Now get out of my house!"

Hamsterviel's eyebrow raised. Gantu's "house" was a torn cardboard box. He changed the subject. "You're looking a little pale there, Gantu. Would it have anything to do with your immune system?"

Gantu was shocked. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Really? Let's check the data, shall we?" He called up a screen on his chair. "According to the Galactic Encyclopedia, your species, the wharks, have one of the weakest immune systems in the galaxy. A germ that would not even make a trog sneeze could potentially cause a whark's death. However, the species manages to preserve itself from foreign bodies by using the mystical waters of the Purity Ocean on their home planet to fortify their immune system against most diseases. The water's effects last for five years, then the whark must return to the Ocean for another dose. Now, by looking at you, I'd guess your time is almost up. Am I right?" Gantu clenched his chin and said nothing. "I'll take that as a yes." He held out a vial of some golden fluid. "This is a special vaccine I have developed which will strengthen your immune system for one day and keep you from dying from sickness. If you agree to work for me, I will give you daily doses of this vaccine. And to sweeten the deal, you won't even have to work for me very long. I will be passing through your home system on the way back to my headquarters. If you agree to serve me until then, you may leave me when we reach your system and stay on your home planet, where you can start your life anew. How about it?"

Gantu was unsure. The deal sounded too good to be true. There had to be a catch. On the other hand, he knew very well that the doctor was right. He was dying. If he did not take Hamsterviel's vaccine, he'd probably be dead by tomorrow morning. And Gantu did not want to die like this, as a filthy vagabond on an alien world. He sighed, resigning himself to his fate. "I'll do it."

"Good." Hamsterviel tossed the vial to Gantu, who drained it in one gulp. "Now, here's what I want you to do…"

…

Kixx, Houdini, and Dracula (The bat-winged experiment at the end of Stitch: The Movie) were lounging on a beach towel. Well, Kixx was anyway. Houdini was flinching constantly and Dracula was "meditating". Stitch walked over. "Hey, Stitch!" Kixx patted a spot on the towel. "Come and have a seat!"

Stitch shrugged. He hadn't been going anywhere anyway. "Okay." He sat down. "Hi Houdini."

The cowardly rabbit quivered. "Please don't hurt me."

Stitch rolled his eyes. "Hey Dracula." There was no response. "Dracula?" He poked the experiment. Dracula reacted instantly, pulling out a shuriken and throwing it. He missed Stitch by a mile and struck some harmless well-meaning hermit crab, killing it. Stitch blinked. "Was that supposed to hit me?"

Kixx pulled Stitch away from Dracula. "Don't bother Dracula Stitch, he thinks he's a ninja."

Stitch stared at Kixx in confusion. "Why?"

"He's practicing the part for his new movie." Everyone knew Dracula starred in horror movies down in Hollywood.

Stitch was still confused. "He does horror movies. Why is he playing a ninja?"

Kixx shrugged. "His studio wanted to try something new. To prepare, he's been eating, sleeping, and breathing ninja to perform flawlessly. He's still got some kinks to work out, though."

Dracula's eyes flew open. "My technique is flawless. Do not mock that which you do not understand, foolish one." He went back to "meditating".

"See what I mean?" Stitch nodded and said nothing. Kixx sighed, seeing his friend was uneasy. "What'sa matter, Stitch? Still moping about last year?"

Stitch nodded. "Yeah…I don't really see how you and everyone else who was there that day can just go on with your lives like it never happened."

Kixx shrugged. "Well, for one thing, we realized it does us no good to hold on to something that hurts that much too tightly. We just…let it go."

"Let it go?"

"Yeah, and you should do the same. You're always depressing to be around now, a real downer. You're almost as bad as Gothika. (As the name implies, Gothika is a moody suicidal gothic experiment.) Just let it all go."

Stitch frowned. "I can't let go. That would be disrespecting the memory of all the cousins that died that day."

Kixx shook his head. "No coz, it's not disrespecting em'. We'll always remember what happened that day. We honor our lost friends by going about our lives the best we can. It wouldn't make them happy to see you as miserable as you are now, I can tell you that."

Stitch frowned. "But…the guilt…"

Kixx snorted. "Guilt. Let me tell you something about guilt, cousin. People feel guilty all the time for failing to do something or affect something that they had no control over in the first place. And when it really is their fault in some fashion, the guilt goes to their heads. Just like you. I felt guilty for helping destroy Tank's life-support armor and causing him to die, but in the end it wasn't my fault. I had no idea he needed that armor to live. And even if I did know, I was counting on the doc to fix him up. I didn't know Pleakley would screw everything up. And in a way, I don't blame him so much for that either. Pleakley can't help being a clumsy oaf, that's who he is. No, the person who really deserves all this blame is Hamsterviel. He's the one who turned Tank and Hunkahunka into monsters, and as such is the one really responsible for their deaths."

"But Hunkahunka wouldn't have been turned into a monster in the first place if I hadn't let him go!" Stitch protested.

"You had no idea he would be tortured. If there's anything you should feel guilty for, admittedly it's that. But it wasn't you who caused all those deaths. Yes, Hunkahunka would never have released 001 or opened that giant warp gate if you hadn't let him go…but if it wasn't him, it would just be another stooge of Hamsterviel's who did it. Hamsterviel is the one who made the clones that killed so many of us. He's the one who's always been trying to ruin our happiness. He's the one who is ultimately responsible for all those deaths. And he's also dead, thanks to you."

Stitch thought that over for a few minutes. "I guess you're right, Kixx."

"Yeah, I know."

"But…even if it wasn't all my fault…his death didn't bring back all the people who died. They're avenged, yes, but still dead. What did I accomplish?"

"You saved all of us from a horrible fate, that's what. And that, my friend, is something to be proud of." Kixx smiled. "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, a little…" Stitch admitted.

"Good! Now maybe you can get over yourself and get back together with Angel!" Kixx said half-jokingly.

Stitch laughed and threw a handful of sand at his cousin's head. Kixx ducked, and the sand hit Dracula, who immediately threw another shuriken, this time hitting an experiment in a sensitive area. They all grimaced at his screams. "Ouch. That's gotta hurt."

…

Hamsterviel floated at the edge of the beach, out of view from his future captives. A smile came to his face.

It was time to begin.

…

I hope I didn't bore you with all the introspective crap and stuff, I just wanted to resolve a few things. Next time the action finally kicks up as Hamsterviel reveals that he is, in fact, not dead. See you then!


	3. The birth of Team Stitch

Okay, here's where the story shifts into gear. Enjoy!

Super Hurricane, Hamsterviel's power, the involvement of the Council, and recruiting Mertle will be explained eventually. As for Melty, he couldn't be used on Tank because he tired himself out turning the ground into quicksand.

Mona, that story sounds interesting. I hope my E-mail helped. Also, I don't have a list of the experiments that died. I sort of chose randomly.

Thank you Katook, though I wonder why you speak in third person.

Anonymous, as always interesting guesses. Everything will be answered soon.

Evil-Genius-565, no the monster is not 627.

…

Lilo pointed in the air. "Look, it's a skywriter!"

"Where?" Pleakley looked up, shielding his eye from the sun.

"Up there, leaving that white trail!"

"Oh, now I see!" he said.

Jumba looked at the skywriter with curiosity. "He is being awfully close to the ground."

"What do you think he's trying to spell, Nani?" asked Lilo.

Nani examined the trail. "It looks like a C…no wait, he's continuing the curve, maybe it's a U…" The skywriter completed a circuit, making a big white circle. "Oh, it's an O!"

"What could it possibly be spelling?" Jumba wondered.

"Maybe, 'Outrageous new prices at the Kokaua Shopping Center'?" Pleakley suggested.

That's when the O exploded and turned into a warp gate. "Or maybe it is meaning, 'Oh blitznag, we're doomed!'" said Jumba as hundreds of clones started dropping from the vortex.

…

Angel stared up at the warp gate in horror. "Clones…that means Hamsterviel must still be alive!"

Finder sniffed. "Yep. I can smell him nearby."

"Should we go get him?" asked Clip.

Angel hesitated, then shook her head. "No. Stitch will take care of Hamsterviel. We have to help protect everyone else." She pulled out her dagger.

"Great! You two have fun; I'll just find a safe hiding place-" Finder started.

Angel grabbed Finder. "Oh no you don't! You need to keep Clip airborne so the bigger clones and experiments don't accidentally squash her."

"Yeah, I'm only a little hairball after all," Clip pointed out.

Finder sighed. "Fine." His ears spun like a propeller, getting him in the air. Clip hung onto his feet, and they followed Angel into the ensuing fight.

…

Kixx growled and smacked a fist into his palm. "It's another invasion! That jerk Hamsterwheel must still be alive! Guess you didn't blow him up hard enough, Stitch…Stitch?" Stitch was gone.

"He ran off when he saw the warp gate opening. Maybe he's looking for a good hiding place. I think I will too." Houdini prepared to blink herself invisible.

Kixx grabbed the rabbit by the scruff of her neck. "Oh no you don't! We need your stealth ability. If those clones can't see us, they can't hit us!"

Houdini whimpered. "Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

Dracula stood up. "We must be swift as the Kamikaze if we are to rid ourselves of these foreign devils. To battle!"

Kixx looked at him, puzzled. "Yeah, what you said." Houdini blinked, and invisibly the three engaged the enemy.

…

Stitch rushed through the tide of clones, smashing them out of the way with his fists. There were a lot of them, but they fell like dominoes before him. They had no chance of preventing him from reaching his goal.

Hamsterviel.

Somehow, the demonic gerbil was still alive. Stitch knew that the instant he saw the warp gate open. Some weird sense, like an instinct, told him Hamsterviel was nearby. Stitch intended to find Hamsterviel and finish him off once and for all. It was the only way to stop this invasion before it was too late.

As he got closer to his destination, he noticed that among the 119s, Nosys, Felixes, Tanks, and other clones, were a few new models. One of them looked like a huge version of Hammerface, but with an axe for a nose. It also had an axe at the end of its tail, axes for feet, little axes for claws, and was holding, guess what? An axe. Another one was fully armored; hiding any recognizable features, and was armed with a shield on its left arm and a laser cannon for a right arm. There were also strange one-eyed jellyfish with spiked tentacles coming out of small warp gates opened by Amnesio and Hunkahunka clones, but he ignored those, focusing completely on reaching Hamsterviel.

He finally burst through the ranks of the clones and onto the beach parking lot, where he found his nemesis laughing in his hoverchair. "HAMSTERVIEL!"

Hamsterviel looked at Stitch, amused. "Ah, 626. Right on time."

"What does it take to make you stay dead?" Stitch growled.

The hamster chuckled. "More than you can dish out. Besides, you should by now that true evil can never be destroyed."

"We'll see about that when I'm through with you."

Hamsterviel pursed his lips. "Hmm, perhaps not…how about this? If you surrender and come with me, I'll leave all your family alone."

Stitch shook his head. "Never."

"Oh? Why not?"

"If I go with you, you'll just clone me and come back for everyone else," Stitch pointed out.

Hamsterviel smirked. "That's true. Okay, how about we fight? If you win, I'll take my army and depart. If I win, I get all of the experiments, including you. Sound fair?"

"No, but I'll do it."

"All right." Hamsterviel pressed a few buttons on his armrest, and his ship appeared above the parking lot. A hatch opened on the bottom, and a tractor beam came out, lowering a large vehicle of sorts to the ground. It looked sort of like a crimson robot hawk, with rotors at the ends of its wings, engines instead of tail feathers, a pair of Felix clone-operated machine gun turrets in place of talons, and another machine gun sticking out of its beak.

"What's that?" asked Stitch.

Hamsterviel floated his chair over the hawk. "This is the H-Hawk, first of my new line of combat vehicles. I'm the only one who can operate it, because all of its controls are programmed into my hoverchair." The chair lowered into a socket on top of the hawk's head, locking into place. A dome closed on top of Hamsterviel, making a cockpit. The hawk hovered off the ground and launched a series of electrostatic generators, which landed around the perimeter of the parking lot and formed an electric force field. "Now there's no escape!"

The rotors started spinning, and the hawk began turning in a circle, firing plasma bullets in a wide radius. Stitch grabbed several of them in his indestructible gloves and stuffed them into his mouth. He chewed on the plasma, ignoring the burning sensation on his tongue, and spat it out as a large energy blast, which struck one of the rotors and exploded, taking it out. The hawk's rotary attack slowed as a result. The ship lifted into the air and hovered in place as hatches opened on its wings. Large targeting signals appeared on the ground as several feather-shaped missiles launched, aiming for the targets. Stitch evaded the missiles in ball form and grabbed a nearby car. He tossed it at the hawk. The car exploded, damaging Hamsterviel's vehicle. The hawk wobbled a little, but remained airborne. Hamsterviel flew over the force field and came back around, firing plasma bullets at Stitch. Stitch's bulletproof hide absorbed most of the shots as he ran for a car, picking it up and hurling it at the cockpit. The explosion cracked the dome slightly, causing a slight tinge of worry in Hamsterviel. He fired missiles at several cars, destroying them and ruining their chances of becoming potential ammunition. With that out of the way, the battle continued.

…

The Pelekais were running from the battle. "Why are we leaving? Shouldn't we stay and help the others?" asked Lilo.

"We are helping them," said Jumba between breaths. "You remember anti-clone spell we have been working on? It is in the jeep's trunk. If we can finish it quickly, we might be able to stop this madness before it is being too late! Besides, this battlefield is being no place for Nani and Pleakley, seeing as how one is pregnant and the other is useless."

"Hey, I resent that!" said Pleakley. "…Even if it is true!"

"Uh, guys? Is there supposed to be an electric wall around the parking lot?" asked Nani.

They stopped in their tracks, their way blocked by the force field. They saw Hamsterviel and Stitch fighting each other. Hamsterviel was resorting to his rotary attack again. Not wanting to burn his tongue again, Stitch grabbed the nearest car and threw it at Hamsterviel. It struck the second rotor and blew it up, halting Hamsterviel's attack. "Yeah!" he cried.

Jumba moaned. "626, that was our jeep! I was needing it to get rid of the clone army!"

"…Oops."

Hamsterviel laughed and lifted his hawk into the air. A hatch opened on the bottom, and several small eggs fell out. They sprouted legs and started walking towards Stitch. He raised an eyebrow. "Walking eggs?"

"No, walking egg BOMBS!" Digital countdowns appeared on the eggs and they started moving much faster towards Stitch.

"Aw blitznag." He curled into a ball and rolled away from the bombs. They chased him, but eventually their timers ran out and they exploded.

Stitch grabbed one of the few remaining cars and threw it at Hamsterviel. He fired his missiles and machine guns at the same time, ripping the car apart before it could reach him. "Ha!"

"Again, blitznag."

Hamsterviel dropped a few more bombs and fired his machine guns simultaneously. Stitch ran under the hawk, where the doctor could not reach him, forcing Hamsterviel to move to a different vantage point. As he did, Stitch grabbed a couple of the egg bombs and tossed them at the hawk. They exploded, damaging the craft again.

Hamsterviel growled and moved again then fired his machine guns and missiles at once. In his attempt to dodge the missiles, Stitch rolled right into the bullets, knocking him out of ball form and slowing him down long enough to get hit by a missile. As he tried to recover from the blast, he saw an egg bomb was only inches from his face. "Blitznag." The bomb exploded, throwing Stitch across the parking lot.

"STITCH!" cried Lilo.

Hamsterviel grinned and aimed his targeting cursor at Stitch's head. The experiment was too dazed by the explosion to get out of the way. "Good bye, 626." He fired.

Just before the missiles could hit Stitch, a yellow blur dropped from the sky and deflected the attack with his tail. "Strike three, yer out!" he quipped.

"Hey, it's Slugger!" said Pleakley.

Hamsterviel blinked. "Experiment 608? How did you get through my force field?"

"…I flew over it, genius. It's only ten feet tall," explained Slugger.

Hamsterviel smacked his forehead. "Gah, I knew I should have brought a larger force field. Well, never mind! Even with you helping 626, your chances of success are minimal. Your powers are primarily defensive, the most you can do is protect 626 from my fire."

Slugger nodded. "I know, that's why I didn't come alone."

With that, the force field generators exploded, revealing a sparking yellow experiment. "Hey doc, remember me?"

Hamsterviel scowled. "221. We meet again."

Sparky ran over to Stitch and helped him up. "Hey Stitch, you okay?"

Stitch nodded. "I'm better, now that you guys are here."

Sparky grinned. "Great! So let's kick some hamster patookie!" He turned into a bolt of lightning and shot at the Hawk. To his surprise, he bounced off the ship's hull. "Huh?"

"Ha! I remembered how you contributed to my defeat on our first encounter, so I shock-proofed all of my combat vehicles in case we met. You can't touch me!" He fired all his weapons at once, shooting bullets and missiles as egg bombs waddled towards the experiments.

"Shock-proof, huh? Let's see if we can't fix that. Slugger, cover us while Sparky and I take down this bird!" commanded Stitch.

"Right!" Slugger darted all over the place, deflecting bullets and missiles.

"How are we gonna shut that thing down?" asked Sparky.

"I've got a plan. Can you use your electricity to freeze those bomb's countdowns?" asked Stitch.

"Yeah, why…OH! I see." He zapped the bombs. They jerked around a bit before they froze, their countdowns stopped. He and Stitch grabbed armfuls of bombs and lobbed them at Hamsterviel's ship.

The combined explosions blasted off a piece of the hawk's hull. Sparky turned into lightning and shot into the exposed circuits, frying the bird from within. "Oh no!" Hamsterviel quickly opened the cockpit and ejected his hoverchair as explosions burst all over the ship, ending in one big explosion that completely destroyed the H-Hawk.

"Way to go!" yelled Lilo and the others from the sidelines.

Sparky leaped out of the explosion unharmed. He high-fived Stitch, then they both caught Slugger as he swooped down, boosting him into the air. "Yeah, that was tight!'

Stitch and Slugger looked at him in confusion. "No it wasn't."

"Eh, I guess not." Sparky admitted.

Hamsterviel hovered over his vehicle's wreckage, looking oddly pleased. Stitch stepped forward. "Okay Hamsterviel, we won. Now take your clones and get out of here!"

Hamsterviel shrugged. "Okay. I hope you don't mind if I take a few souvenirs, though."

Stitch blinked. "Huh?"

"Observe!" Hamsterviel pointed to the beach. They all turned to see that the battle was over. Hundreds of the jellyfish clones from before were floating over their soldier relatives, each of them holding an unconscious experiment in a containment field between their tentacles. "Do they look familiar, my old colleague?"

Jumba gasped. "Those are clones of X-400! It is being the kidnapping experiment, with the power to paralyze victims with its spike-tipped tentacles and take them away in its organically generated containment field!"

Hamsterviel laughed. "That's right! While your experiments were busy fighting the bulk of my army, my 400 clones snuck up and snatched them from behind! And now per our agreement, I will take my army and depart…WITH YOUR FAMILY! HAHAHAHAHA!" He paused. "Oh yes, I forgot one little detail…" He snapped his fingers.

Mertle suddenly grabbed Lilo from behind and drove a needle into her arm, tranquilizing her. "LILO!" cried Nani and Stitch.

The three experiments started towards the redhead, but Gantu grabbed Nani and held a plasma gun to her head. "Back off, or she dies!" Reluctantly, the trio froze. "Now, hand over your computer!" he said to Jumba.

"Er, what computer? I am not having any computer," Jumba lied.

Gantu scoffed and gestured at Pleakley. "You! Plorginarian! Look through his beach bag and get the computer!" Pleakley looked hesitant. Gantu pushed the gun into Nani's head. "DO IT!"

"Sorry," Pleakley whispered to Jumba. He rifled through Jumba's bag and pulled out the laptop.

Hamsterviel flew over and snatched it from Pleakley's hands. He flipped it open and examined some files. "Excellent! With the experiment DNA data in this computer, I can finish my greatest creation!" He shut the laptop. "Thank you all so much for letting me get away with this. Tata!" A tractor beam came down from the ship overhead and picked up Hamsterviel, Gantu, Nani, Mertle, and Lilo. As they were lifted into the air, the soldiers and experiment captives began leaving through warp gates made by the flying clones as the giant warp gate sealed up.

When they were halfway up the beam, Gantu tossed Nani out. Slugger managed to catch her and lowered her to the ground safely. But Mertle only tightened her grip on Lilo. "Give Lilo back!" Stitch yelled.

Hamsterviel laughed. "I'm afraid I can't do that. She is the key to your ultimate defeat! If you want her back, come and get her!" The villains vanished into the ship as the last of the clones entered the warp gates, causing the portals to close. Hamsterviel's engines ignited, and he started for space.

Stitch whistled. "Come on Stitch Machine!" His cruiser appeared from the sky. Stitch jumped into the driver's seat. He was surprised when Sparky and Slugger jumped in as well. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What, you thought we would let you go off and have all the fun?" asked Sparky.

"Yeah, we want Lilo and our cousins back just as much as you do. We're coming with you!" said Slugger.

Stitch grinned. "Thanks guys." He turned the ignition. "Let's kick hamster patookie!" The cruiser blasted off. They left the atmosphere, following Hamsterviel's ship out into the depths of space.

_Watch out Hamsterviel, because Team Stitch is coming for you!_

…

And the first team is born! Tune in next time for answers and the unveiling of the next two teams! Also, as a bonus, here's Team Stitch's theme song, improvised from Team Sonic's theme in the game.

…

Whoo!

All right   
  
Look out, down below!  
  
Stitch is on the go.  
  
Can't stop this party 'til we save the galaxy!  
  
This time, not alone.  
  
We got some friends along.  
  
And as a team we can become even stronger!  
  
Together, we can overcome all the odds.  
  
It's never as hard as it seems.  
  
And everyone can do something special.  
  
The secret is sharing a family!  
  
Yeah!  
  
We can make it if we all stick together.  
  
We won't give up, not ever!  
  
And everything's gonna be all right!  
  
We all bring out the best things in each other.  
  
Together we are stronger  
  
Than anyone else could be on their own.  
  
So much better than alone.  
  
Stitch's in the lead, giving us greater strength.  
  
Slugger keeps us flying high and safe from trouble.  
  
And Sparky by our side makes this a safer ride.  
  
We'll save the day and teach that Hamsterviel a lesson!  
  
Together we can overcome all the odds.  
  
It's never as hard as it seems!  
  
And every one can do something special.  
  
The secret is sharing family!  
  
OOOOOH! YEAH!  
  
We can make it if we all stick together!  
  
We won't split up, not ever!  
  
It's easier with my cousins by my side!  
  
We all bring out the best things in each other.  
  
Together we are stronger  
  
Than anyone else could be on their own!  
  
So much better than alone.  
  
Better than alone!  
  
YEAH!  
  
We can make it if we all stick together!  
  
We won't give up, not ever!  
  
And everything's gonna be all right!  
  
We all bring out the best things in each other.  
  
Together we are stronger  
  
Than anyone else could be on their own!  
  
Can't stop us 'cause together we are strong!  
  
Oh yeah!

…

Yeah, I know that was kind of lame, but I felt like doing it. Please review!


	4. Team Angel and Team Kickass blast off

Okay, there's less action this chapter, but the last two teams are set up and we get a bit of a plot twist. Enjoy!

Technicolor Tex, Finder and Clip got together after the world trip, but they kept it a secret. Naturally, everyone knows.

Nukerjsr, that wasn't Hammerface but a clone of his cousin Battaxetra, who was never encountered by Lilo and Stitch but was captured by Gantu.

…

Deep beneath the earth, in a secret bunker, a transaction of evil was taking place.

A tall, lean alien wearing a suitcase was escorted into the room. "Do you have the goods?" he asked.

Osama Bin Laden, currently the evilest man on Earth, gestured. A crate was opened by his henchman, revealing millions of coffee beans. "Three million coffee beans, as promised. More than enough to make you rich on the galactic black market. Now where's my weapon?"

The alien opened his suitcase and tossed a device to the terrorist. "Here you go, one high-yield plasma explosive. Packs enough punch to level an entire city with no nasty radioactive side effects."

Osama cackled. "Excellent! Now the United States and the former Bush administration will pay for driving me into hiding!" He nodded to his henchmen, who picked up the crate. "My men will escort you and your payment back to your ship."

The alien nodded. "A pleasure doing business with you." He turned to leave the room when suddenly a loud digital rendition of "Jingle Bells" could be heard. "What the hell?"

Osama looked up and saw a very startled black man frantically trying to turn off his cell phone in the rafters. "We've been discovered!"

The alien drew out a hiss of breath. "It's Agent Cobra Bubbles! Kill him!"

The goons dropped the crate and shot Cobra full of bullets with their machine guns. He spat up blood, staggered and fell from the rafters. His last thought before he hit the ground was, _I knew I forgot to set my phone to vibrate…_

…

"Hello? Hello?" Jumba shrugged and hung up the phone. "There is being no answer."

Nani sighed. "I guess we won't be getting help from the FBI, then."

After Hamsterviel and Team Stitch's departure, they had all come back to the Pelekai household, including the seven experiments that had managed to evade capture. Angel, Clip, and Finder had located a good hiding place when the clone troops proved to be too much to handle, while Kixx and his group had been safe thanks to their invisibility. Arnold had also survived, but only because he hadn't wanted to come to the reunion in the first place and had in fact broken into the house during all the commotion and was found raiding the fridge when everyone got back. They had just tried to contact Cobra Bubbles to help get back Lilo, with no success.

"Maybe the Galactic Federation should handle this," Pleakley suggested. "After all, Hamsterviel escaped from their prison. It's their responsibility to capture him. Besides, we're not allowed to leave Earth, so it's in their jurisdiction now."

"Yes, but if the Federation is getting into this, they will be destroying all the experiments Hamsterviel has captured, not to mention 221, 608, and 626. Earth is the only safe haven for them, off-world they are being fair game," Jumba pointed out.

"What other choice do we have? We have to get Lilo back!" said Nani desperately.

Jumba mused. "I may be having an idea…but perhaps you are being right, we should try the Federation first. The Grand Councilwoman is being our friend, perhaps she can find a loophole to get my experiments back safely."

Jumba quickly set up his communications equipment and sent a call out to space. But the visage that appeared on the comm. screen was not the warm, familiar face of the Grand Councilwoman, but the face of a female of Jumba's species with large red hair. Her face soured when she saw Jumba's face. "Oh, it's you."

Jumba blinked. "Eh? Ex-wife? I must have dialed wrong number, I am looking for Grand Councilwoman," he said, reaching for the cutoff switch.

"In that case, you are coming to the right place._ I_ am being the Grand Councilwoman."

Jumba stared at his ex for a moment. "WHAAAAAAT?!"

"You heard me! I am being the new Grand Councilwoman!" said the ex-wife happily.

"But…but…_how_?!"

"The elections were just last month. I won by revealing all of my predecessor's lenient dealings with illegal genetic experiments, and promising to make a zero-tolerance policy against all such experiments. The public ate it up, and now I am being leader of the galaxy. Not bad, eh?"

Jumba shook his head. "I cannot be believing-" He froze. "Wait…did you say _zero-tolerance_…"

"That's right! The legislation is going through as we are speaking. Once it is passing, I'll be able to destroy all of those despicable little experiments of yours once and for all!" She then gave a pretty good evil laugh, no doubt obtained from her marriage to Jumba.

"But you can't do that!" Pleakley protested. "Earth has been named a reservation for experiments and mosquitoes! You can't touch the experiments as long as they're on this planet!"

"True, but only until this legislation is passed. Then they are all being fair game. And as for mosquitoes…" She shrugged. "Who is caring about some lousy insects? Not the citizens of the galaxy, that's for sure! They are worrying more about bloodthirsty monsters created by some mad scientist that would be killing their children in their sleep."

"That is being nothing but lies!" yelled Jumba. "My experiments would never kill children in their sleep! They would wake them up first."

Ex-wife shrugged. "The citizens of the galaxy are not knowing or caring about that, and neither am I to be honest. All that is being important is destroying those experiments before they can be hurting anyone else."

"They have not even hurt anyone to begin with!" Jumba protested.

"The citizens of the galaxy are not knowing that either." She looked at her watch. "Now if you will be excusing me, I must be attending an important meeting. I'll be coming with the extermination team in person to see the look on your face as they are destroying your precious creations before your eyes." She hung up.

Jumba pounded a fist on the table. "That bitch! I am not knowing why I ever married her!"

"I thought it was for her money," said Arnold as he walked in from the kitchen carrying a tray of sandwiches.

"Oh yes, now I am remembering."

"Why does she hate us so much?" Angel asked as she accepted one of 625's sandwiches.

"Partly because her religion is being prejudiced against genetics, partly because male experiments were always making lewd comments at her," he said with a glare at 625, who didn't look like he cared. Angel and Clip snickered until Jumba said, "And partly because female experiments were always calling her rude and insulting names."

The girls winced. "Oh yeah…"

"So what do we do now?" asked Pleakley, taking another sandwich. "I mean, now we've got _two_ problems to worry about, Lilo and this extermination!"

Jumba had calmed down somewhat from his fury at his ex-wife and had already thought of a solution. "Extermination can be solved easily. All we are having to do is evacuate the experiments from the island."

"Evacuate?" asked Nani in confusion.

"Yes. I am knowing of a nice planet we can go to that is being untouched by the Federation. We can all be living out the rest of our days there in peace. We will collect all the remaining experiments on the island and go to that planet. 626 will rescue Little Girl and other experiments and meet us there." He looked at Nani. "You'll have to come too. They'll probably destroy you for being contaminated by us."

"How will Stitch know to come to this new planet?" asked Angel.

"Well, since his cruiser's communication system was getting damaged last week and I never fixed it, you'll have to tell him," said Jumba.

Angel was surprised. "Me? Why me?"

He shrugged. "Somebody has to. Might as well be you. Anyway, we should probably be checking on my idea to help Little Girl." Jumba put a computer that looked exactly like the one that had been stolen on the table.

"Didn't Hamsterviel take that?" asked Pleakley.

"I am having a spare." He turned it on and started typing. "The computer Hamsterviel took is having all my experiment data, but it is also having one other thing…" He turned the screen to the group to reveal a CGI spider. "My digital experiment, 499!"

"Hi!" said Hacker.

"If Hamsterviel has 499, then what's she doing here?" asked Arnold.

"When the doc plugged my computer into his systems to download the experiment data, I slid into his mainframe undetected and started absorbing all the information I could find. I transmitted myself back here using E-mail to tell Jumba what I found out," explained Hacker.

Jumba smiled. "You are being a good computer virus. What can you tell us about Little Girl?"

"Lilo was teleported to Hamsterviel's secret base soon after they went into hyperspace. I haven't had enough time in his databanks to find out where it is or what they have in mind for her, but I can tell you for certain that he's currently heading for planet Urb to pick up a huge supply of urbinium," said Hacker.

"What's urbinium?" asked Nani.

"It's spaceship fuel. Think of it as Earth gasoline, but nonpolluting and much more efficient," Pleakley explained.

"What could Hamsterviel be wanting with all that fuel?" Jumba wondered.

"I couldn't tell you, but I do know that he's heading for the resort space station Paradise Vega after he's got his urbinium. I don't know why though."

"Hmm…" Jumba stroked his chin. "499, would it be being possible for you to sabotage Hamsterviel's systems somehow?"

Hacker shook her head. "No, his virus protection software is too powerful. I can slip by it easily to steal a little data here and there, but if I do something big and direct like shutting down life support or changing his hyperdrive course, I'll be tracked down and deleted."

Jumba nodded. "All right then. Here's what we're going to do. Pleakley and I will go hunting for experiments and prepare to evacuate before the extermination squad arrives. In the meantime, 624 will go and tell 626 of our plans for a new world, and I suppose she can be helping him in his fight against Hamsterviel while she's at it."

"I'll need Finder to help me locate Stitch, since we can't communicate with him directly. Will that hinder your hunting?" asked Angel.

Jumba shook his head. "No, Little Girl and I completed a locator spell just a few days ago. It is working on the same principle as 158's nose, but only for experiment pods." Finder looked miffed at being replaced, but said nothing.

Angel was thoughtful. "I'd better take Clip too. If anti-experiment sentiments have been pumped up as bad as your ex-wife says they have, we can't let anyone identify us. Clip is pretty good at making disguises, aren't you Clip?" Clip nodded in agreement.

Jumba shrugged. "Okay, you can take them both with you." He turned to Kixx, Houdini, and Dracula, who were lounging about. "Now, how would you three like to be working on a secret mission?"

They looked interested. "Ih," said Kixx.

"Ih," said Dracula.

"Naga," said Houdini. Everyone glared at her. She shrank under all those eyes. "I-Ih."

Jumba was pleased. "Good. Now, here is what you will be doing." He handed Kixx a communicator. "While 624 and her team are assisting 626, you three will be aiding them from the shadows. This communicator will keep you in contact with 499 while she is hacking through Hamsterviel's files. She will be able to keep you up-to-date on his plans so you will know how to be sabotaging them while the other two teams are keeping Hamsterviel occupied."

"I look forward to working with you guys. Now I'd better head back to Hamsterviel's ship, I don't want to miss anything." Hacker vanished back into the vastness of the Internet.

"Hey, what about me?" asked Arnold.

"You will be remaining here while Pleakley and I are out. It is being your duty to take care of Big Girl," said Jumba.

"Hey, that's not fair! Couldn't you leave me with someone more competent?" Nani begged.

"But I am needing Pleakley!" Jumba protested.

"You are?" Pleakley said hopefully.

"Well, a little."

"Can't I at least have David come over? I trust him more than this guy!" Nani pleaded.

Jumba thought for a moment. "Well…okay. But 625, you are still to be guarding Big Girl with your life, understand?"

"Yeah, whatever. Hey, what's on TV?" Arnold turned the television on. Jumba shook his head in disgust.

…

A few hours later, the six were set to go. They were leaving in Gantu's old excursion vehicle, which had been tooled up for space travel. It even had a hyperdrive, weapons, and slightly more space. They waved to their family as they blasted off, leaving Earth behind.

"So where to from here, Hack?" Kixx asked the communicator.

"Doctor H and our buddies are three quarters of the way to Urb by now. You'd never get there in time. You should probably head for Paradise Vega so you can get ready for the doc and Stitch's arrival in advance," said Hacker.

"Gotcha." He turned off the communicator. "You hear that, Dracula? We're going to Paradise Vega."

"Hai, Kixx-sama." The ninja wannabe punched in the coordinates, and they left the solar system faster than the speed of light.

Houdini cowered in her seat. "Hyperdrive seems dangerous. Can't we go any slower?"

"If we went any slower, it would take us over a thousand years to get there," explained Finder.

"Oh."

A silence hung over the group. "So, what do you guys want to do until we get there?" asked Angel.

"Oh, I know!" said Clip. "Let's play I Spy! I spy something with my little eye that's long and bright!"

"Is it an object we're passing so fast in hyperdrive that it looks like a streak of light?" asked Kixx.

"You're right! Now it's your turn."

"Okay. Um, I spy with my little eye something that's…long and bright."

"Is it an object we're passing so fast in hyperdrive it looks like a streak of light?" asked Finder.

Kixx scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess it was kind of obvious…"

Angel groaned. She could already tell this would be a long ride.

_Twin stars have risen in the sky. Team Angel and Team Kickass are ready for action!_

…

Well, I hope this chapter answered a question or two. Next time we'll see Team Stitch in action!

But first, let's hear Team Angel's theme song:

…

Anywhere you wanna go.  
  
Anything you want to know.  
  
All the best in life,  
  
I want to get for you!  
  
Really, I just feel so fine.  
  
I imagine that you're mine.  
  
You're my world,  
  
I'm your gold.  
  
I only want to protect you.  
  
Whatever I want, I get!  
  
I want, shooting stars!  
  
Whatever I need, I have!  
  
When I'm with you.  
  
Follow me inside, outside!  
  
Through the stratosphere!  
  
The moon is shining for you,  
  
It knows that I adore you!  
  
Suddenly all the sadness,  
  
Will just slip away.  
  
And you will see what I mean,  
  
If you just follow me in my dream!  
  
I was searching everywhere.  
  
Suddenly, I saw you there.  
  
And my love arrived,  
  
Just in the nick of time.  
  
Life floats on a movie screen.  
  
You're the star of my scene.  
  
Live on the edge of a knife,  
  
Larger than life!  
  
Whatever I want, I get!  
  
I want, shooting stars!  
  
Whatever I need, I have!  
  
When I see your face!  
  
Follow me inside, outside!  
  
Through the stratosphere!  
  
The moon is shining for you.  
  
It knows that I adore you!  
  
Suddenly all the sadness  
  
Will just slip away!  
  
And you will see what I mean,  
  
If you just follow me in my dream!

…

That was an expression of Angel's feelings for Stitch, in case you didn't get it. It could also be interpreted as Finder and Clip's feelings for each other, but either way it's nice and romantic right?

Now, here's Team Kickass's theme:

…

Team Kickass.  
  
Once upon a time  
  
You could be a bad guy  
  
And live to see the day.  
  
But now, you'd never manage,  
  
Boy, you'd be brain damaged  
  
Just to think that you could get away!   
  
This power has arrived in a dream team!  
  
A force where one and one and one makes three!  
  
And when the trail goes cold,  
  
And lies have been told,  
  
This crew will find and be what you can't see!  
  
Yeah!  
  
Danger roars when the wimpy bunny cowers,  
  
And the phony ninja stars fly!  
  
The muscle is Kixx,  
  
The kickboxing champion,  
  
And is sworn to fry!  
   
Team Kickass!  
  
They're warriors you want on your side!  
  
Team Kickass!  
  
They're stealthy "ninjas" tracking down your crime!  
  
Come along for the fun ride!  
  
Truth can run but cannot hide!  
  
For all, the game is on, Now!   
  
Remember when stealin'  
  
Used to be a good dealin'?  
  
When the crooked life would always pay?  
  
Well, now that the team's in town,  
  
They all go underground.  
  
But, it's a worry to this very day.   
  
A challenge has been issued  
  
By the Hamster!  
  
This mission's gonna need them all!  
  
And though our hope grow thin,  
  
And the outlook is grim,  
  
These three are gonna heed the call!  
  
Yeah!  
  
Houdini's thing  
  
Is hiding from the first sting  
  
As the purple one charges!  
  
Dracula is clearly ready to go!  
  
I doubt they'll do you wrong!  
   
Team Kickass!  
  
They're warriors you want on your side!  
  
Team Kickass!  
  
They're warriors tracking down your crime!  
  
Come along for the ride!  
  
Truth can run, but cannot hide!  
  
For all the game is on!  
  
Team Kickass!  
  
Stitch Heroes! What's your problem please?  
  
Team Kickass!  
  
Stitch Heroes! Gonna make the outlaws bleed!  
  
There's now way you could win!  
  
Team Kickass!  
  
If it's trouble you're in!  
  
Kickass!  
  
They're gonna kick your ass!  
  
TEAM KICKASS!

…

Well, that took a lot of work to edit. Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Team Stitch in the Big City

I'm glad everyone liked the intro for Team Angel and Team Kickass. This chapter checks in with Stitch's team, and hopefully it won't be too bad. Enjoy!

Nukerjsr, there _might_ be a fourth team…you could sort of count Hamsterviel, Mertle, and Gantu as a team, but I might work something in later on. And yes, Battaxetra was from Dexter, but I noticed how similar it and Hammerface looked so I decided to make an experiment based on it.

Jumba didn't really have any choice but to trust Arnold for even a little while. Since the other experiments were leaving, there's nobody else to watch Nani since she's pregnant, and Pleakley couldn't stay because Jumba needed an experiment-hunting partner. It may be asking for a miracle, but the only alternatives would be to either take Nani with them or wait for David to show up and then go. Neither option is feasible seeing as they need every second of hunting time to gather all the remaining experiments before the exterminators arrive, and Nani would only slow them down and be a hazard magnet. There really was no other choice.

To be honest Story Weaver1, I always thought Houdini was a guy. However, everyone else seems to think Houdini's a girl, and since I may have messed up already by making Yin male (cause lots of people think Yin's a girl too) I decided to just play it safe and go with the flow on this one.

Eh heh, I didn't actually make up those songs Bluefox. I adapted them from the original Team theme songs from Sonic Heroes, which this story is based on. I just changed a few words here and there. (A lot of words, in Team Kickass's case.)

…

"Amazing."

"Gigantic."

"Shiny." Stitch and Sparky looked at Slugger. "What? It is."

The trio had followed Hamsterviel's ship through hyperspace to planet Urb, home of the galaxy's largest supply of Uburnium. The vast amount of money earned by the refining and exporting of this universal fuel source had made the planet's capital one of the biggest, brightest, and most advanced cities this side of the Alpha quadrant. They had lost track of Hamsterviel's vessel when entering the planet's atmosphere, but were certain he was somewhere in the city.

None of them aside from Stitch had ever left the lab back on Turo, and so had never seen a truly modern city of the Galactic Federation. And even Stitch was impressed by the huge holographic billboards, the flowing energy walkways, the shining buildings, and the huge numbers of vehicles flying around the city's skyways and byways. "None of those junk heaps can outfly my Stitch Machine," he said lovingly.

"What do you think Hamsterviel wants here?" asked Slugger.

Sparky consulted a dog-eared book he had found in the Stitch Machine's glove compartment. "According to the Galactic Travel Guide, this planet is home to the biggest supply of Uburnium in the galaxy. If he's here for anything, it's probably for the fuel."

"Hamsterviel wouldn't have stopped here just to refuel. He must need that Uburnium for something else," Stitch reasoned. "Where should we go from here?"

Sparky checked the book. "We should probably check the Central Uburnium Refinery. It's the biggest Uburnium reserve on the planet and should be somewhere in this city."

"Is that it over there?" asked Slugger, pointing to a huge crystalline dome-shaped building off in the distance surrounded by tower-like pistons that constantly pumped up and down, sucking unrefined Uburnium from the earth.

Sparky checked the picture in the travel guide. "Yep, that's the one."

Stitch nodded. "Okay then, let's-"

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!" bellowed a loud voice.

"What the-"

They turned around and saw a dozen police hovercars floating behind them. "GET ON THE GROUND AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING ILLEGAL GENETIC EXPERIMENTS!"

"How'd they know what we are?" asked Slugger, surprised.

"What if we don't want to be put under arrest?!" Stitch challenged.

Several hundred powerful plasma cannons popped out of each car. "THEN YOU WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY!"

"Ah. I see. RUN!" The experiments ran as the cops fired, blasting open a huge crater. They quickly came to a dead end, because they were standing on top of a skyscraper. Undeterred, Stitch leaped off immediately, followed by Sparky. Slugger swooped down after them and grabbed Stitch, who grabbed Sparky as he fell past him.

The police cars flew around the side of the building and started towards them, powering up their guns. "Slugger, get us out of here!" yelled Sparky.

"How do you expect me to move that quickly when I'm carrying you two?! Hey, that gives me an idea…" Slugger paused in his flight and flung Stitch and Sparky above him.

"Hey, what do you think you're-"

Slugger swung his tail twice, knocking the two towards a police cruiser. Frightened, they curled into ball form just before they hit, smashing into the cruiser and causing it to weave out of control. It smashed into another car, causing both to collide with the side of the building and explode. Slugger caught his cousins as they fell and landed on a nearby rooftop.

Stitch blinked. "Hey…that was kind of cool."

The cars flew overhead and came back for another pass. "Slugger, throw me at em'!" said Sparky.

"Okay!" Slugger swung his tail as Sparky curled up, shooting the electric experiment at the police cars. Sparky turned into lightning as he hit the lead vehicle and leaped all over the place, zapping the cars. He went back into ball form as the cars exploded, showering the area with debris. "Home run!"

Before they could celebrate, another squad of cop cars appeared and flew towards them. "We're not out of the woods yet. Let's get out of here!"

Sparky noticed a tall metal antenna extending from the top of their building as his teammates headed for the edge to make another death-defying leap. "Hey guys, come over here, I got an idea!"

"It had better be quick, those cops'll be here any second!" said Stitch.

"Just hold on to me." Stitch and Slugger grabbed his waist. Sparky crackled and converted to lightning, taking Stitch and Slugger with him. He zapped onto the flagpole, shot along its length and fired off the top, shooting across the expanse to another antenna, and continued transmitting himself in this matter from building to building until they were far, far away from the cops.

Sparky shot off the top of another antenna, only to find there wasn't another one to go to. The trio converted back to normal and started falling. Slugger grabbed his friends and flapped his wings quickly to slow their descent. They landed gently on another skyscraper with heavy traffic flying all around them. "Phew, that was close," said Sparky.

"How'd you do that, Sparks?" asked Stitch.

Sparky shrugged. "I don't really know. It just seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well, it worked. Though I don't think I'll ever want to do that again. Turning into electricity leaves your fur all tingly," said Stitch as he tried to push down his fur, which had sprung up in response to all the static.

"Hey guys, look at this, I think this is how those cops knew we were experiments," said Slugger, pointing to a giant holographic billboard playing a repeating message.

It displayed Jumba's ex-wife, with the words _Grand_ _Councilwoman_ underneath them. "Citizens of the Galactic Federation, a dire threat faces our peace and livelihood. Genetic experiments, created by demented scientists such as Jumba Jookiba and Yaohan Killowogg, are rampaging throughout our worlds, causing mayhem and destruction." Her image vanished, to be replaced by a huge chart displaying several hundred creatures of all kinds, many of them familiar to our experiment trio. "If you see any of these experiments in your neighborhood, contact the police immediately and stay inside your homes. These creatures are extremely dangerous and are not to be trifled with. Thank you for your time." The hologram faded, then started repeating itself. "Citizens of the Galactic Federation, a dire threat faces our peace and livelihood…"

"…Who was that lady? She looked kind of familiar," said Slugger.

"That was Jumba's ex-wife," explained Sparky. "So she's Grand Councilwoman now? Figures. She always did have political aspirations."

Stitch frowned. Using his supercomputer brain, he had counted all the experiments in the ad, and something didn't add up. "There were a thousand experiments on that billboard, but there are only a little over six hundred of us. Who were those other guys? And who's this Killowogg?"

"Jumba's not the only mad geneticist out there. There are plenty of other evil geniuses who tried to grow experiment armies of their own," explained Sparky. "Killowogg is one of them. I met him, his experiments and a bunch of other weirdoes when Jumba held a Mad Scientist's Convention at the lab one year. It was before either of you were born."

"Were any of those experiments hot?" asked Slugger curiously.

Sparky snorted in reply. "No. They were genderless. And retarded, too. The other scientists weren't nearly as skilled or as brilliant as Jumba. Why do you think Hamsterviel hired Jumba in the first place? He's the best in his field."

"That lady said we're rampaging across the galaxy. But none of us have left Earth until now. Do you think she was talking about those other doctor's experiments?" asked Stitch.

Sparky nodded. "Probably. It wouldn't surprise me to learn some of them escaped, those scientists were pretty dim when it came to security…but it's not fair to pin some of the blame on us!"

"Ah, she always hated Jumba, she's probably just framing us to get back at him for divorcing her. I always thought she was the one who ratted us out to the Federation…" growled Slugger.

A bunch of police cars suddenly flew by, in too big of a hurry to notice the experiments sitting on the roof. "What was that about? They didn't even notice us!" said Sparky.

"Looks like something big's going on. I'll see if I can find out what it is." Stitch fidgeted with his ears and antenna, trying to tune in to the police frequency.

"-break in at Central Uburnium Refinery, repeat, break in at Central Uburnium Refinery, illegal genetic experiments sighted, all units converge there immediately…" 

"There's been a break in at the Refinery. Experiments are involved," Stitch informed his teammates.

"And the refinery just happens to be where we're going. Coincidence? I think not!" said Sparky slyly.

"Hamsterviel?" suggested Slugger.

"Oh yeah!"

"Okay then. Let's get that hamster and pound him for stealing our family!" said Stitch. "Team Stitch, move out!"

"…Since when are we called Team Stitch?" asked Sparky.

"Since now. Move out!"

"Why can't we be called Team Hero or Team Homerun or something like that?" asked Slugger.

"I prefer Team Sparky myself," Sparky added.

"I said MOVE OUT!" Sparky and Slugger yelped and jumped off the building. Stitch shook his head and followed them.

…

There was a blockade of police vehicles at the entrance to the Refinery. Police were standing outside their cars and pointing guns at a huge clone of 119. Oddly enough, it was raining, setting the mood. "Put your hands…er, tentacles in the air!" shouted one of the officers. The monster burbled in reply. "All right, you asked for it! Open fire!" The police fired their guns over and over again at the monster. They sank into the beast's chocolaty mass, doing no damage. "Oh no! Our weapons have no effect! Retreat!" They ran away.

"Wimps."

Team Stitch landed on top of one of the cars. "That thing doesn't look so tough!" said Sparky.

"Yeah, but I hear one of these things killed Chocola," said Stitch, fighting down a fresh wave of angst.

Slugger smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, but we've got something Chocola didn't!"

"What's that?" asked Stitch.

Slugger grinned, showing his fangs. "Very big appetites from being stuck in a small police cruiser with nothing to eat for the last several hours."

The three looked hungrily at the poor stupid 119 clone, who would have already been running for its life if it had enough of a brain to understand the danger it was in.

"It's lunch time!" yelled Sparky as they pounced on the clone. The poor thing never stood a chance.

…

The inside of the refinery was a marvelous sight. The large crystal dome contained an entire factory complex, complete with everything you would ever want to turn raw Uburnium into the super-efficient fuel source used everywhere in the galaxy. The only thing that marred this lovely crystal dome was the gaping hole that had been smashed in it by the large somewhat spherical spaceship coming in for a landing. This ship was anchored over a huge vat of pure processed Uburnium in the center of the refinery, which was being sucked dry by pipes leading into a warp gate. Clones were all over the place, monitoring the machinery and keeping an eye out for any intruders.

Hamsterviel stood at the edge of the glowing vat with his new protégé, Mertle. "Look at it, my dear apprentice. What do you see?"

Mertle, who had gotten a Babel fish (See Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) stuck in her ear so she could understand everything spoken to her, looked into the vat. "Uh…a lot of glowing orange stuff?"

"Well, yes…but it is more than that! It is the most efficient and non-polluting fuel source in the galaxy, if not the universe. Far less dangerous than antimatter, which explodes violently if exposed to even an atom of normal matter! It is power, raw power…and with it, I will crush the universe!"

She raised an eyebrow. "How? It's just fuel, right? What are you going to do, gas up some big spaceship and blast everything with it?"

Hamsterviel chuckled. "Close, my dear, but you see only a fraction of the big picture that is my master plan."

"And when do I get to know this 'master plan'?" she demanded.

"When I feel like telling you. At the moment, you are just an apprentice. If I don't want to tell you something, that is my prerogative. You overstep your place in questioning it."

Mertle rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Gantu walked over, looking distressed. "Sir, 626, 221, and 608 have broken into the building. I think they're here for us."

"How did they get past the door guard?" Hamsterviel asked, annoyed.

"They, er, ate it."

Hamsterviel smacked his forehead. "Gah, what was Jumba thinking when he made 119? Oh wait, now I remember, there was a horrible supply shortage and he was trying to make an alternative food source."

"The clone guards won't be enough to stop them. From the front door, it's a straight run to the elevator leading up here. What should we do?" asked Gantu.

"Hmm." Hamsterviel thought for a moment. He checked a panel on his hoverchair. "We only need to delay them for a few more minutes. We already have 75% of the fuel we need. Wait for them to get on the elevator, then shut off the power halfway to the top and send in the 303 clones. THAT should get their attention!"

"Right away." Gantu stomped off.

"Why don't you just kill them?" asked Mertle.

"At the moment, I can't. The three of them together are stronger than any clone in my army. However, I don't need to kill them right now. I just need to delay them long enough to complete the drainage process," Hamsterviel explained.

"Then when do we kill them?" asked Mertle.

He grinned at her bloodthirstiness. "Soon."

…

Sparky punched a dead Tank clone once more for good measure. "Heh, is that the best he's got?"

Stitch couldn't help smirking. "He should know by now that the three of us can do anything as long as we stick together!"

"Hey guys, think this elevator goes all the way to the top?" Slugger asked, pointing to a doorway ahead of them.

"There's only one way to find out." They entered the elevator, which was a large hexagonal platform with a thin pillar full of Uburnium running through the middle of it. Stitch pressed the highest button next to the door, and the platform began moving up the shaft.

Halfway up, the platform stopped abruptly. Then the lights went out. "What the-" The platform started rumbling. Sparky and Stitch quickly held onto the central pillar as the platform dropped away from them, hitting the bottom of the shaft with a resounding crash some minutes later.

Sparky started glowing, allowing everyone to see each other. "You guys all right?" asked Slugger, who had taken flight just before the platform fell.

"Yeah…what was that all about?" Sparky wondered.

"I think a certain rodent knows we're here." Stitch started climbing up the pillar. "Let's pay him a visit, shall we?"

They started climbing. Three-quarters of the way up, Slugger heard something. "Do you guys hear a buzzing noise?"

"Yeah, sort of like some kind of insect…uh oh," Stitch said as several dozen Amnesio clones armed with plasma cannons and machine guns flew down to them.

Slugger darted amidst the clones, bashing heads in and dodging gunfire, while Sparky blasted them with an occasional lightning bolt. Despite this, they kept on coming. Stitch was forced to cling to the pillar since he had no lightning or flying powers, and if he tried to jump onto one of the bugs he might miss and fall to the bottom of the shaft. Sparky looked up at his cousin after frying a clone. "Stitch! Keep going, we'll hold them off!"

"Are you sure you guys'll be okay?"

Sparky ducked, avoiding a plasma blast. "Positive! Now go! Get Hamsterviel!"

"Right!" Stitch climbed up the pillar, avoiding the bugs. He soon left the sphere of light generated by Sparky's bioelectric luminescence and entered the darkness of the shaft. He switched to night vision, climbing past more Amnesios who didn't see him in the dark. He soon reached the top of the pillar and flung himself towards the wall of the shaft, where he could see the doorway. He just missed the door, but grabbed hold of a ledge and pulled himself up. He smashed the door down, entering the top floor of the refinery. "Hamsterviel!"

Hamsterviel and his minions looked up. "Ah, 626. Where are your companions?"

"They'll be up soon. Tell me where Lilo and the others are and I won't kill you!"

Hamsterviel smirked. "Somehow I doubt you could do that. In any case, your friends are somewhere you will never find them…though I suppose you may be joining them shortly. Mertle!"

"Yeah?"

Hamsterviel pressed a button on his armrest. A hatch opened on the underside of his ship, and a new combat vehicle lowered from it. It was nowhere near as impressive as the H-Hawk. Basically, it was just a spare hoverchair with a pair of missile launchers attached to the sides and a large thrust engine mounted on the back. "Here is your first important lesson in villain training: operating a death vehicle to destroy (or in this case, delay) your nemesis. Use the H-Hornet to hold off 626 long enough for me to complete the drainage process."

"But I don't know how to pilot that thing!" Mertle protested.

"Don't worry, the chip will show you how."

"What chip?"

"The chip I connected to your brain, of course."

"…You never connected a chip to my brain."

"I didn't?"

"NO!"

Hamsterviel smacked his forehead. "Ah, you're right. I can't believe I forgot. Here." He pulled out a chip and stuck it on the back of Mertle's neck.

"Ow! That hurts!"

"Yes, I know. Now go get him."

Grumbling, Mertle climbed into the cockpit of the H-Hornet. A glass shield lowered over her. The craft floated into the air as electrostatic generators dropped down from above, trapping Stitch in a force field. He rolled his eyes. "Here we go again."

Mertle flew over Stitch's enclosure and fired a bunch of missiles. He curled into a ball and rolled out of the way. When the missiles stopped firing, he popped up and tried to reason with the little girl. "Mertle, why are you working with Hamsterviel? Being a bully is one thing, but helping him rule the universe? How could you?"

Mertle shrugged. "Hey, I'm a spoiled brat. What I want, I get. And I want a world of my own to rule as I please. Hamsterviel will give me that and more in return for my help."

"He'll just double-cross you like nearly every evil villain does to their minions!" Stitch protested.

Mertle paused and looked at her mentor. "Are you going to double-cross me?"

"No. Gantu, yes, but not you," Hamsterviel said truthfully.

Gantu looked up from a console. "Did somebody say my name?"

"No. Get back to work."

"Yes sir." Gantu went back to his console.

Wanting to get back to the fight, Mertle pressed a button and large drills sprouted from the missile launchers. "All systems full power!" The thrust engine engaged, and she charged towards Stitch. He stepped out of the way. She flew past him, blowing up an electrostatic generator and bringing the entire force field down before crashing into the open elevator shaft. The Hornet exploded, throwing her out somewhat burnt but otherwise okay. She blinked. "Ow."

Hamsterviel groaned. "This is going to take a while."

Sparky and Slugger, somewhat blackened by the explosion, crawled out of the shaft. "Oof…somebody get me the number of that combat vehicle!" said Sparky angrily.

"What took you guys so long?" asked Stitch.

"There were a LOT of bugs. And I _mean_ a lot," said Slugger.

Hamsterviel checked one of his displays and laughed. "Ha! Amusing as this has all been, I'm afraid I must now depart. I've distracted you fools long enough to get what I came for. So long, suckers!" He laughed as he and his minions were pulled up into the ship via tractor beam while the suction pipes retracted into the warp gate, which then closed.

As the ship took off through the hole in the roof, Stitch whistled. "Come on, Stitch Machine!" His cruiser smashed through the roof and parked neatly next to the empty Uburnium tank. "Come on guys, we have to follow him!"

They all hopped in and took off. "I hope the next place we go to doesn't involve us getting chased by cops or getting blown up," muttered Sparky as he tried to wipe the soot from his fur.

Stitch shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe it'll be a fancy resort!"

"Heh, like we'd get that lucky," Slugger joked as they accelerated to hyperspeed after the rodent's ship.

If only they knew. If only they knew. 

…

I'm afraid this might be the last chapter for a while, since the next one might be pretty long and I'm going on a long trip with my family next Friday so I can't work on it for a week and a half. I hope this chapter will tide you over until then.


	6. Galactic Showdown!

I finished this chapter sooner than I expected, but I know for sure I won't have another one up until the week after next. Sorry.

Anonymous, I'm surprised you noticed the reference. Yes, I know Killowogg is a good guy, but I couldn't think of any other name for an alien scientist.

Bluefox…eh…I make no promises on Gantu.

…

"So _this_ is the famous Paradise Vega," said Slugger. The team had just arrived there after following Hamsterviel through space again, predictably losing him at the station docks.

The space station was a huge wheel shaped (and oddly enough, colored) like a giant roulette wheel. The interior of the station was similarly casino-themed, with buildings shaped like stacks of bingo chips and slot machines, huge floating dice, and roads and highways designed like pinball games. The quickest way to get through the city was to get into a small, spherical craft, and roll around the giant pinball machines, getting jostled this way and that by bumpers and paddles. Most people sensibly preferred to walk.

This place was the Las Vegas of the galaxy, famous for its extraordinary floor shows, strippers, flashing lights, cool game shows, and its virtually impossible to win casino games. Millions of people came to visit the place year-round and left substantially poorer. And somewhere in this gaudy, neon city was Hamsterviel. The heroes had no idea where to begin.

"Where do we start?" asked Sparky.

Stitch shrugged. "I dunno."

See?

A cloaked figure suddenly bumped into Stitch, knocking him over. "Hey, watch where you're going!" he said angrily.

"So sorry, sir." The figure quickly moved on.

Stitch grumbled. "Lousy pedestrians, never looking where they're walking-" He paused, then checked his pockets. "Hey, that guy stole my wallet!"

"After him!" said Sparky.

They chased after the cloaked figure, who had started running. They didn't dare show off their powers, for although they hadn't seen any billboards warning against experiments in this station, that didn't mean the hundreds of tourists and gamblers walking about wouldn't find it odd if Sparky turned into a bolt of lightning and zapped the thief.

The thief turned into an alley and found it to be a dead end. Stitch and the others stopped at the entrance, blocking any escape. "Okay, give back my wallet or-" The thief tossed the wallet at their feet. "…Else?"

The thief threw off the cloak, revealing it had been Angel, Finder, and Clip standing on each other's shoulders all along. "Hi guys!"

Stitch was stunned to see his ex and her friends here. "Angel? Clip? Finder?"

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Sparky.

Angel grinned. "It's a long story, so listen up…"

…

The trio explained how they had escaped the invasion force, along with Kixx's group, and returned home only to learn of the new Grand Councilwoman's evil scheme for extermination and Hamsterviel's flight plans. The six experiments had set off at once for Paradise Vega to set up for Hamsterviel and Team Stitch's arrival.

When they arrived, Hacker had informed them that Hamsterviel had signed up to compete on the space station's hit game show, Galactic Showdown, in hopes of winning this week's fabulous prize, the crystalline Star of Destiny. Hacker had no idea what it did, but it sounded important and was obviously crucial to the doctor's plans. While she could easily erase Hamsterviel from the game's roster, that might make him suspicious of a spy in his computer, which could lead to a lot of problems. And he'd probably just go ahead and steal the Star then, possibly endangering hundreds of innocent lives in the process. So instead she got rid of the other contestants and signed up Angel's team to compete along with Stitch's team to increase their chances of keeping the Star from Hamsterviel. In the meantime, while everyone was watching the show, Kixx's team would infiltrate the vault where the Star was kept and replace it with a counterfeit bought from a hotel gift shop so that just in case Hamsterviel did win, he wouldn't get the real prize.

They had also considered sabotaging Hamsterviel's ship during the game, but decided not to. It turned out the doctor had a warp gate device installed in his hoverchair and if he found himself with no other way off the station and surrounded by enemies on all sides, he might use it to go right to his secret base. If that happened, it would be doubtful that they would ever find him or the missing experiments in time to stop his mysterious master plan.

This all sounded very complicated, along with the part where they were going to move to a new planet after this was over to avoid the exterminators, but Team Stitch decided to go along with it, up until the point when Clip got out a makeup kit. "Oh no," said Slugger. "You're not putting that stuff on me!"

"Well how else do you expect to disguise yourself silly?" she asked, annoyed.

"Disguise?"

"Well of course, this game's going to be broadcast all over the galaxy. You don't want the cops to see you, an illegal genetic experiment, on television and race down to kill us all thanks to that bitch's anti-experiment campaign, do you?"

"No…" he admitted.

Clip smiled. "Good. Now shut up and pull your tail in, it'll ruin the outfit I made in advance for you. And don't make that face at me, it'll make it harder for me to apply this mascara." Slugger groaned.

…

A few hours later, in a studio packed with cheering fans…

"Ladies and gentleman, here he is, the man you've all been waiting for, the winner of the Brightest Smile Award three years running and our host, heeeeerrrre's Chip Mechanilous!" cried the generic unseen announcer.

A robot with an antigravity unit for a lower body and a very bright and gleaming set of metal teeth hovered out of a hole in the floor, to the cheers of his adoring fans. "Hello Paradise Vega!…and all you other loser planets out there!" He followed this up with a gleaming smile as the audience laughed, just like the big glowing LAUGH sign hanging from the ceiling told them to. "Aw, I'm just joshing with you. Are you all ready for an exciting night of GALACTIC SHOWDOWN?!" he asked as fireworks, lasers, smoke machines and cool holographic displays flashed in the background, where a giant hologram of the show's sign lit up. The audience shouted their approval. "Great! Bobbo, who are our contestants tonight?"

The lights dimmed and spotlights spun all around the stage as drums and other instruments played, heightening the tension and suspense. "First up, from the depths of Nebula G-37, we present to you the Sex family!…sorry, my mistake, the Seex family! Say hello to Titch, Parx, and Bindy!" The crowd cheered as Slugger, Sparky, and Stitch were raised up on a platform with lots of spotlights focused on them, feeling ridiculous.

Stitch had retracted his extra limbs and antenna and his ears were folded over his head and died brown to simulate hair. He was wearing a small tweed jacket with a pipe sticking out of a breast pocket. A pair of nerdy glasses were on his face. His fur had been died fuschia for no apparent reason. He played the part of Titch, a mild-mannered lawyer who liked long sunset walks and reading very big books.

Sparky's antenna had been wrapped around his stubby ears to look like some strange hairdo, and he wore sandals, a flower-patterned shirt, and sunglasses. His fur had been bleached to a sort of white-blond mix and he looked like he had just come off the beach. He played the part of Titch's slacker son, Parx.

Slugger was the most embarrassed because he was supposed to be a girl. His tail had been forcefully pushed into his body (Which hurt like hell) and he had been given blue contacts to hide his dark eyes. He was wearing a typical apron and blue dress to make him look like a housewife (which he technically was, seeing as how he had the part of Titch's germ-paranoid wife Bindy). Also, his face was covered in mascara, lipstick, and eye shadow along with very long fake eyelashes. He also had a hideous beehive wing to hide his pterodactyl crest. If you had never seen him before, you would never have known he was a boy.

After giving a brief and totally fabricated synopsis on the family, Bobbo announced the next team, who rose on another platform. "Next, all the way from the mysterious planet Enigmus-12, Her Royal Highness Queen Angedala and her retainers Swami and Clip!" The members of Team Angel waved at the audience.

Angel's antenna had been curled up into little balls on either side of her head and painted black. Her ears had been folded back to make room for a dazzling tiara over a face hidden behind quite a lot of white makeup. She wore sequined red robes with little flames sewn into them along with a great deal of jewelry in the form of bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. Her fur was died a dark red to hide her usual pink coloring. Thanks to the fake credentials Hacker had made up, Angel was now ruler of a planet that didn't exist.

Finder was wearing a simple black tunic and sandals. His ears had been wrapped around a ball to form a weird turban of sorts, which had been painted white. His fur had been died blue with a single white stripe on his left cheek. He had wrapped a cloth around his eyes to go with a sort of 'blind sage' look, but after he kept stumbling into everything Clip had taken pity on him and cut out eyeholes, making him look very strange indeed. He also had a fake goatee. He played the part of Swami, Queen Angedala's loyal advisor.

Clip had taken off her large hair bow and put it on her chest to make it look like a bow tie, hiding her gender. She had also retracted her claws and put on sunglasses. She had refused to dye her hair, claiming it would ruin her natural roots. She was supposed to be Angedala's bodyguard. (Or something like that.)

Bobbo gave another brief and false synopsis, then announced the last team. "And finally, the trillionaire philanthropist Rupert Gerbilwheel! And his retinue." The crowd cheered as Hamsterviel, Mertle, and Gantu appeared on stage. The experiments saw through their disguises, just as the evil ones saw through their own. They glared at each other as Bobbo gave his fake synopsis of Hamsterviel's team.

Hamsterviel was floating around in his hoverchair to appear crippled. He had removed his cape, dyed his fur black, and donned dark glasses to appear blind. He had assumed this guise many times in the past to fund his illegal operations.

Mertle was wearing a very skanky outfit that looked about as thick and concealing as dental floss. She was Gerbilwheel's consort, and not even remotely pleased about it.

Gantu was wearing a flowery muumuu, fake eyelashes, and lipstick to help him play the part of Brunhilda, Gerbilwheel's kindly nurse. He wasn't happy about it at all.

Chip's smile grew inhumanly wide. "Now that all our teams have been assembled, it's time to play GALACTIC SHOWDOWN! Right after these messages."

…

A pair of robot guards stood in front of the secret entrance to the heavily secured area where the hotel that hosted Galactic Showdown kept all its valuables, including the mysterious Star of Destiny. They were programmed for total focus on guarding the doorway. Nothing could divert their attention from their task.

A small four-armed fellow strolled by, dropping a magazine as he went. He didn't notice and kept moving on. The guards glanced at the magazine to see if it was a threat.

The magazine was the latest issue of PLAYBOT, featuring the year's newest line of sex machines. A holographic picture of one particularly hot robo-femme was featured on the cover, flashing her chest-mounted photoreceptors at the guards.

The robots stared at the magazine for several seconds, calculating. Slowly, one of the guards started to move towards the magazine. The other grabbed his wrist. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Um…just saw a credit on the floor," the robot said quickly.

"Really? And where is this 'credit'?"

The guard's photoreceptors shifted. "Er…"

"Ha!" The second guard pointed at his partner. "You just wanted that magazine, didn't you? You wanted to take it to the maintenance area and play with your jack-in port while reading it, didn't you?"

"Oh, like you weren't?" The first accused.

"At least _I_ managed to resist the temptation to pick it up!"

"Oh yeah, the way you resisted to pick up that hooker bot off duty?"

The guard managed to look shocked and indignant, which was pretty good for something with no real facial features. "I'll have you know I was just driving her home! Thanks to my superior programming, I can control my sex drive, unlike you, who would probably link up with your own prototype just to get a little-" He was cut off when the first guard punched him in the face. Furious, the second tackled him and they started rolling around on the floor, beating each other up. Gamblers gathered around and started placing bets, not noticing the now unguarded security door appear to open and close all by itself.

…

"We now return to GALACTIC SHOWDOWN!" yelled Bobbo as the commercials ended, getting screams from the audience.

"Now that we're back, I'll explain the rules," said Chip, who was still grinning. "The game will consist of three short but difficult contests where individual members of each team must compete for fabulous prizes. Whichever team wins two or more contests will win our grand prize, a hundred thousand credits and the mysterious Star of Destiny! Not even _I_ know what this thing's deal is!" The audience laughed. "That wasn't a joke." They stopped. "Anyway, our first contest will be decided by spinning the Big Ol' Roulette of Fate!" he said, gesturing to a huge roulette wheel set on the floor that had numerous challenges written on its spokes. A pair of lovely three-eyed assistants manned it.

They pulled a lever, causing the wheel to spin. "Roulette of Fate, spin, spin, spin, tell us what our contestants have to win!" A ball dropped from the ceiling and landed in the roulette, getting caught in its rotation as the wheel slowed down. The ball landed in a niche at the base of the middle tower, right within a spoke that said 'Trinity Trivia.' "And it looks like our first challenge is Trinity Trivia!" Chip proclaimed. The audience cheered. "Now, will the most knowledgeable players each approach the podiums?" he asked as three podiums raised from the ground. Each had a buzzer and a score display. (Like the ones in Earth game shows, but cooler looking.)

Sparky, Finder, and Hamsterviel all approached the podiums. "Now, in this contest, you will have to answer random questions about life, the universe, and everything. Whoever buzzes first and gets the answer right scores a point. Whoever scores three points wins the contest for their team. Let's begin!" Dramatic music played as spotlights focused on the three players. A card slid out of a dispenser on Chip's hand. "First question: Which planet of the Shorca system is origin of the Whark race?"

Hamsterviel's paw hit the buzzer faster than even Sparky could have imagined. "The fifth."

"Correct! One point to Mr. Gerbilwheel!" The crowd applauded. Sparky and Finder glared at their foe, vowing to hit the buzzer before he did. "Second question: What-" Sparky hit the buzzer. "Yes, Parx?"

Sparky started to answer, only to realize he had no idea what the question was. "Uh…3?"

"I'm sorry, that's…WRONG!" The audience booed Sparky. Finder patted his back sympathetically. "Now, as I was saying: What is the name for the fifth life-cycle of the Glorbian Plineworm?"

Hamsterviel hit the buzzer. "Trick question, the Plineworm only has three life-cycles, then it dies."

"Correct!" The crowd applauded as Hamsterviel's score went up. "Third question: what is the middle name of our former esteemed Grand Councilwoman?"

Finder quickly hit the buzzer while Hamsterviel was trying to remember the answer. "Trick question, she doesn't have a middle name!"

"That is absolutely CORRECT!" Finder's score went up one point. "So our current score is Parx 0, Swami 1, Gerbilwheel 2. This next question could decide the contest and reveal who wins our first prize." Another card slid into his hand. "Who is the most recent descendant of Adolf the Really Evil, the most feared dictator in galactic history?"

The experiments stared at him blankly. They had never heard of an Adolf the Really Evil. Jumba had neglected to teach them history back at the lab. Hamsterviel buzzed in. "That cunningly evil (and oh-so-handsome rogue) Jacques van Hamsterviel"

"CORRECT!" There was lots of applause, music, and confetti. "Congratulations Team Gerbilwheel, you've won our first prize! Tell them what it is, Bobbo!"

"With pleasure! Team Gerbilwheel, you've won…a BRAND NEW CAR!" The spotlights focused on a sweet new space cruiser, done in stylish black and white.

"My Stitch Machine is better," Stitch muttered.

As the fanfare died down, Chip took the stage again. "We'll be right back with our next contest, after these messages!"

…

Deep underground, a pair of robot guards defended a hallway extending from an elevator to a large vault door. They were programmed to defend the vault with their artificial lives. Nothing could distract them from their duty. Or so they thought…

With a ding, the elevator opened. The robots looked up. To their confusion, the elevator was empty. They walked over to take a look. Inside there was an object lying on the ground. "Hey, it's the new issue of Playbot!" said one guard, picking it up.

"Let me see that." The second guard tried to grab the magazine from his coworker.

As the two fought over the sordid magazine, an invisible figure planted devices on their backs and moved away. Seconds later, the timers on the EMP charges went off, knocking out the guards. The invisible figure then ran down the hall, inputted a code in a nearby keypad, and slipped through the vault door.

…

"And we're back! Last time, Team Hamsterwheel won a new car. I wonder what fabulous prizes the other teams can win!" said Chip.

"Only one way to find out, Chip," said the announcer.

"That's right! Spin the wheel, ladies!" The assistants pulled the lever, starting the wheel. A ball fell from above and got caught in the wheel's rotations. "Roulette of Fate, spin, spin, spin, tell us what our contestants have to win!" The ball stopped on 'Blargarian Battle'. "And it looks like our next challenge is the Blargarian Battle!" There were many gasps from the crowd.

"What's the Blargarian Battle?" whispered Stitch to Sparky.

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"Will the strongest members of each team please step forward?" asked Chip. Stitch, Angel, and Gantu came over as a teleporter lowered from the ceiling. "This teleporter will take you to our Blargarian Battle Arena, where you must defeat a ravenous, slavering, homicidal, and somewhat horny Blargarian Snagglebeast. Whoever beats their Snagglebeast the fastest wins the challenge for their team and gets a fabulous prize. Brunhilda, since your team won last time, you go first."

Looking uncertain, Gantu stepped into the teleporter and vanished. A big hologram popped up, showing Gantu stepping out of a teleporter in a lava-filled chamber with several platforms connected by rickety stone bridges and a large portcullis against one wall. "This can't be too hard. All the times I wrestled with the trog have given me lots of experience fighting. This Snagglebeast can't be too bad in comparison." The portcullis raised, and a monster twice Gantu's size stepped into the arena. It had orange fur with white stripes covering its body, a mouth filled with tusks and fangs, glowing blue eyes, bat wing ears, and very big claws. It roared, causing the cavern to shake and rocks to fall from the ceiling. Gantu paled. "Oh blitznag."

The following scene was so horrific that it was censored out on the hologram. All that could be heard were horrific screams, roars, and Gantu yelling "THAT DOESN'T GO THAT WAY!" After five minutes of gut-wrenching sounds, a very mangled Gantu stumbled out of the teleporter, his muumuu in tatters, spouting gibberish. He collapsed, bleeding all over the floor.

Chip winced. "Medic!" A pair of medibots picked up Gantu, put him on a gurney, and carted him off. "Don't worry folks, our medical and psychiatric facilities will have him fully healed from both the physical and mental trauma by the time we finish our next commercial. Anyway, Titch, it's your turn."

Stitch nodded and stepped into the teleporter, warping into the monster's lair. A new Snagglebeast was waiting for him. The beast stomped over and bellowed right in his face, knocking his glasses off and blowing his ears back. Stitch calmly retrieved his glasses, put his ears back, and then proceeded to beat the shit out of the Snagglebeast. This too, was censored, and after three minutes of hearing graphic violence the hologram showed Stitch picking up the bruised and beaten monster and tossing it into the lava. He wiped his hands and walked back into the teleporter as the audience cheered.

"Amazing! That's a new record, worth a hundred extra credits for the record-breaking team!" said Chip as Stitch appeared back in the studio. "Tell me, how did a little guy like you get so strong?"

"Uh…" Stitch's eyes shifted to his teammates. They mimed flexing their muscles and eating. "I work out a lot and eat my veggies."

Chip would have raised an eyebrow if he had one. "Really? Huh. Well, since our pre-show steroid test came up negative, I have no reason to doubt you." Stitch sighed in relief and headed back to his team. "Now, it's all up to Queen Angedala! Let's see if she can beat Titch's time and win this round's prize!"

"Easily," said Angel as she stepped into the teleporter.

She appeared in the cave. A new Snagglebeast was waiting for her. It roared and stomped over. Angel took out her dagger and stabbed its foot before it attacked. The Snagglebeast stared at her stupidly for a second, then dropped dead from the blade's magic venom. She went back into the teleporter and reappeared in the studio, to the adulation of the crowd. "UNBELIEVABLE! _Another_ new record!" said Chip. "This means your team gets the prize, plus a bonus of a thousand credits for breaking a record for the second time on the same event. Bobbo, tell them what they've won!"

"Thanks to her surprisingly quick victory, Queen Angedala's team has won…an all expenses paid vacation to Paradisia, the galaxy's greatest resort spot!" A hologram popped up to show some of Paradisia's wonders. "On Paradisia, they can enjoy sunbathing on the beach, lava surfing, dragon riding, and so much more. Congratulations, Team Angedala!"

Chip floated up to the camera, grinning as always. "We'll be back with the final contest right after these messages!"

…

Once inside the vault, Dracula (who had been invisible all along) turned on his communicator. "I have breached the fortress. Are the defenses down?"

"Yup!" said Kixx. "Hacker's shut down all the alarms and cameras. All you have to do is go up to that pedestal there, switch the crystals, and get out!"

"Hai." He darted across the room in a mockery of a ninja's stealth run, despite the fact that he was invisible. He reached the pedestal holding the star-shaped crystal and took out his fake. "Tell Houdini to make me visible again." He shimmered and appeared, along with the fake Star, which had been invisible as well. He picked up the true Star and was about to replace it with the fake when suddenly the lights went off. Startled despite his 'training', he dropped the crystals. "What's going on?"

"Sorry, Houdini accidentally hit a switch up here in the security office. Hold on…" said Kixx.

A moment later, the lights came back on. Dracula was about to grab the fake Star when he suddenly realized that he had no idea which one was which anymore. They both looked exactly identical. He closed his eyes and held a wavering finger between the crystals. "Spirits unite!" He spun around once and stopped. He opened his eyes and saw he was pointing at the left Star. Hoping the spirits had chosen correctly, he placed the fake crystal on the pedestal, grabbed the real Star of Destiny, and headed for the exit.

…

"And we have a winner!" cried Bobbo.

The crowd went wild. Slugger had just won the challenge, which was a twisted version of Dance Dance Revolution. (The one on Earth is a downgraded version imported by aliens, the real thing is much more difficult.) Basically, they had to dance on a holographic platform generated by a hovering projector over a pit. The more correct dance steps they copied from the large overhead screens, the closer the projector got to the end of the pit. If they made too many wrong steps or hesitated too long, the projector would lose power and fall into the pit. To make things worse, projectiles were constantly fired at them. Mertle and Clip had never stood a chance, but Slugger was naturally good at dodging stuff and seemed to have a lot of luck when it came to dancing so he made it across safely. This meant Team Seex (or Stitch) was tied with the other teams, meaning they still had a shot at the Star of Destiny.

Chip was clearly impressed by Slugger's skill. "Wow, I haven't seen dancing that good since that group from the Thespus Institute of the Arts came here!"

"So what do I win?" asked Slugger.

"Tell her what she's won, Bobbo!" cried Chip.

"For superb dancing, you've won…a HOME VERSION OF DDR!" A large box landed in front of Slugger. He stared at it. "Just follow the instructions inside to build your own action-packed DDR stage! Some assembly required, parental guidance may be necessary."

Slugger's eye twitched. "That…that's it? I play your stupid dancing game, nearly fall into a pit and get shot at by stupid projectiles, and THIS is what I get?! A version of the same freaking game to play at home?!" Slugger went berserk and started ranting, raving, and yelling incomprehensible gibberish while foaming at the mouth.

Chip stared at him, confused. Stitch walked over to him and whispered, "It's that time of the month."

The robot nodded in understanding. "Well then, with Bindy's victory, all three teams are tied for the grand prize of a hundred thousand credits and the Star of Destiny. And we all know what to do when this happens, folks…that's right, it's TIEBREAKER TIME! So, let's spin the Roulette of Fate one last time and see what our final challenge is." The assistants spun the wheel. A ball dropped from the ceiling. "Roulette of Fate, spin, spin, spin, tell us what our contestants have to win!" The ball stopped on 'Shorty Singing Sensation'. "And it's been decided, folks! Our final challenge will be Shorty Singing Sensation!" There were a lot of cheers for this. Obviously it was a crowd favorite. "Now, will the smallest members of each team come up?" Slugger (who had calmed down), Clip, and Hamsterviel came forward. A stage rose from the floor, with tons of spotlights focused on it. "In this challenge, each of you must sing a song. It can be anything you want. The stage's special sensors will pick up the song's tune and chorus from your brainwaves as you sing the lyrics, playing a complete musical piece for us all to hear. The audience will judge which of you sang the best song," he added as screens appeared in front of the audience members with buttons representing each of the three contestants on them. "So I suggest you do your very best! Bindy, since you won the last round (and have stopped PMSing) you go first."

"Uh, okay." He thought for a minute, then stepped on the stage and started singing.

"When all alone in my chair,  
  
I just go about wishing,  
  
Wanna be strong,  
  
Really wanna be trusted, ahh.  
  
When all alone in my bed,  
  
I just go about yearning.  
  
Wanna be cool,  
  
I also wanna be like him.  
  
But that's not something  
  
That I can do so easily.  
  
This is not simply my way,  
  
My style,  
  
Gotta get a hold of my life!  
  
(I wanna fly high!)  
  
So I can reach the highest of all the heavens.  
  
(Somebody will be waiting for me.)  
  
So I have gotta fly higher!   
  
When all alone in my sleep,  
  
I just go about dreaming.  
  
I see myself there,  
  
Having the same adventure.  
  
If I just follow you,  
  
I will never see the light.  
  
Now's the time to find my way through this life.  
  
Trying so hard to be strong!   
  
(I gotta keep going!)  
  
Everything is a brand new challenge for me.  
  
(I will believe in myself!)  
  
This is the only start for me!   
  
Many friends help me out.  
  
In return I help them. Certain things I can't do.  
  
And there are things that only I can do!  
  
No ones alone!   
  
(I wanna fly high!)  
  
So I can reach the highest of all the heavens.  
  
(Somebody will be waiting for me.)  
  
So I have got to fly higher!" He stopped. The audience clapped, tentatively. The song had really not been that good.

"What was that?" Stitch asked as Slugger came back to the others.

"Oh, Lilo was singing that one day at softball practice a few months ago. Said she heard it in a video game and couldn't get it out of her head. And now I can't get it out of my head," explained Slugger.

"That was crap," Sparky said bluntly.

Slugger nodded. "Lilo said pretty much the same thing."

While they were talking, Clip stepped onto the stage and began her song. She had a little trouble because she was pretending to be a guy, so she kept singing in a rough falsetto voice in an attempt to sound like a man. It just made her song sound really bad.

"I got up my map and  
  
Chose a place I wanted to go.   
  
(Pack up my stuff, set out for adventure.)  
  
I know that your lucky color  
  
Is the cool shade of blue.  
  
(Won't mind painting myself blue for you.)  
  
I guess I'm so easy to understand.  
  
I just do what comes to me naturally!  
  
I do understand the feelings of a Persian Cat.  
  
(But the Sphinx looked so cute I had to shave it.)  
  
He reminds me of parsley when he's standing there.  
  
(Makes me wanna be his speciality.)  
  
I guess I'm just a self-centered girl.  
  
But there are nights where I have trouble sleeping.  
  
Sweet, sweet, you're so sweet!  
  
So many things I want!  
  
Sweet, Sweet, you're so sweet!  
  
I wanna be a wonderful girl.  
  
Sweet, sweet, you're so sweet.  
  
I'm not simple-minded!  
  
Sweet, sweet, you're so sweet!  
  
And I won't be a pearl!" There were only a few cheers for that one. Chip just looked at her strangely as she went back to her teammates, looking embarrassed. He shrugged and called Hamsterviel up to the stage.

"…I didn't get it," Finder confessed.

"I liked the tune, but the lyrics made no sense," Angel agreed.

Clip shrugged. "I heard the song on the salon radio the other day. I didn't get it, but the tune was nice, so I remembered it. It was the only song I could think of," she said apologetically.

Angel sighed. "It's okay Clip, any song you sang probably would have sounded bad with that horrible imitation male voice you used." Clip glared at her. "At least it's gotta be better than whatever Hamsterviel's got, right?"

Hamsterviel immediately proved them wrong as he started singing.

"Whoa, Yeah!  
  
The story begins  
  
With who's gonna win,  
  
Knowing the danger that lies within.  
  
Aboard K39,  
  
A genius at heart.  
  
Wanting to unlock the mysteries of life!

I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan!   
  
I'm plotting my schemes  
  
Wherever I go!  
  
They're perfect in every way!  
  
I love to destroy!  
  
The blue one you know,  
  
He's an obstacle that gets in my way!

I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan!   
  
I must play this game by my rules!  
  
I will conquer the universe with my tools!  
  
All my creations  
  
Are made for destruction!  
  
I will build my empire!  
  
I will deceive,  
  
And you will see,  
  
With my clones  
  
There is no retreat!   
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan!   
  
I am the Enemy!  
  
I must succeed!  
  
My mission, yeah  
  
I must complete!  
  
My name is Hamster.  
  
Don't forget my name!  
  
If you ask me again,  
  
I will tell you the same!  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master plan.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
That's what I am.  
  
I am the Hamster!  
  
I've got the master, master, master plan!  
  
I am the Hamster!" He stopped and bowed facetiously as the audience started applauding wildly.

Everyone was stunned. "Hamsterviel can _sing_?" Gantu asked in astonishment.

"And really well, too," said Mertle, equally astonished.

"Wow, Angel, he's almost as good a singer as you are," said Clip. Angel's eye twitched.

"Well, guess we lose. There's no way the audience will vote for us after that song," said Sparky.

Stitch grinned. "Yeah…but you seem to have forgotten that Kixx's team swapped the Star of Destiny with a fake while we were playing. We win, too."

"Oh yeah…"

Chip quickly took an audience poll and prepared to announce the winner. "Ladies, gentlemen, and things, the winner of tonight's Galactic Showdown, a hundred thousand credits, and the Star of Destiny, iiiiiiiissss…TEAM GERBILWHEEL!"

The crowd cheered again. "Heheh, as if there was ever a doubt," Hamsterviel said happily.

"Sir, where did you learn to sing like that?" asked Gantu.

Hamsterviel chuckled. "Back when I was a teenager, I was a member of a band called The Evil! We were great. The chicks loved us. Then we all grew up and moved on. But I retained my singing voice, and penchant for songwriting. That piece you just heard was H.A.M.S.T.E.R., the song which will be my official anthem once I rule the universe." A platform floated over to him with the Star of Destiny on it. Gleefully, the doctor grabbed it and raised it over his head. "Haha! In your face, 626, 221, 608, 158, 177, and 624! I win! I WIN! HAHAHAHA!" The applause stopped. Everyone stared at him. "…is what I would be saying if I were that incredibly sexy and evil Dr. Jacques Van Hamsterviel. Which I'm not. Heheh."

There was a long pause. Chip shrugged. "Works for me!" The crowd started cheering again. Hamsterviel wiped away some sweat and sighed in relief.

…

A little later, three experiments in disguise joined their friends at a secluded table in the hotel casino's bar. Kixx was wearing a tuxedo that was too small for him and had extra sleeves for his third and fourth arms. He wore a monocle in his right eye, and had what at first glance looked like a white wig on his head but on closer inspection was Houdini curled up. Dracula was wearing a one-piece black suit that covered up his face, extra arms, and wings, making him look even more like a ninja. They sat down at the table.

"So, did he suspect anything?" Kixx asked.

"Nope! They fell for the fake Star hook, line, and sinker," said Finder proudly.

"They were too busy boasting to consider that it might be a fake. And we even played the part of sore losers, too." Stitch screwed up his face in a sour expression and started yelling at an imaginary Hamsterviel. "'You're just lucky there are all these security guards around, or I'd kick your patookie and take back what's mine, gerbilface!' I said to him." They all laughed.

Dracula placed the Star of Destiny on the table. "This has been a great triumph over evil. Let us celebrate!"

"I hear that. Waiter! Get all of us a round of drinks!" Angel called to a nearby waiter.

"Yes ma'am." The waiter bowed and walked off.

As the rest of the experiments laughed and joked, Clip picked up and examined the Star. "Guys, this is a fake."

The others stopped. "What?"

"It's a fake. See, there's this little space back here where they wrote, 'Made in Paradise Vega'," Clip said.

Slugger blinked. "But…if we've got the fake, then that means…oh blitznag."

Finder sniffed the air. "Yes. Hamsterviel's got it."

Dracula bowed his head. "The spirits have betrayed me. I must atone for my failure by committing hara-kiri." He smashed an empty glass on the table and prepared to drive one of the shards into his heart.

Kixx grabbed his arm. "Now, now, no need to kill yourself for something that wasn't your fault. In fact, you probably would have done the Star swap perfectly if a certain someone hadn't hit a switch she had been expressly told not to, ISN'T THAT RIGHT HOUDINI?" he roared, ripping off his 'wig' and holding her up to his face.

Houdini whimpered. "I thought the picture on the switch looked like a pear. I like pears. I thought if I pressed it, I'd get a pear."

Kixx smacked his face and dropped her on the table. "What kind of idiot mistakes a picture of a lightbulb for a pear?"

"A hungry idiot. Do any of you have something to eat?" she asked hopefully. Everyone groaned.

Stitch stood up. "Well, if Hamsterviel's got that Star, then we'd better hurry! We've gotta chase after him before he leaves the station!" The others nodded and followed him out of the hotel.

A minute later, the waiter arrived with the drinks. "Madam, here is your…" he paused, seeing they were all gone. He frowned. "Well, that was certainly rude of them. Oh well, no sense wasting good alcohol." He sat down and started drinking. Nine glasses later, he was roaring drunk and hitting on his manager. He woke up the next morning to find there was somebody else in his bed, but that's a whole other story entirely.

…

Wow, that was long. Hope you enjoyed it, please review.


	7. Runaway Experiment Express

I'm finally back! And I've got a new chapter too, so I hope you're all ready for it!

Anonymous, yes I was influenced by "Win, Lose, or Kaboom." Originally I was going to have everyone enter a contest, but then I thought that a game show would be much funnier.

Nukerjsr, good guess. Hamsterviel's ancestry will come into play later…

…

Hamsterviel led Mertle and Gantu through the corridors of his secret base on the deserted mining planetoid of Railon 3. He had attached the Star of Destiny to a chain and placed it around his neck. Oddly, he looked somewhat more evil with it on.

"Are we there yet?" Mertle whined.

"Almost. Stop asking!" snapped Hamsterviel. He stopped at a large door. "Ah, here we are." He entered a password and the door opened. As the trio entered, a second group followed them, cloaked by invisibility.

"Wow!" said Mertle. The room was a huge storage area, with huge transparent cylinders rising from floor to ceiling. At first glance, they all appeared empty, but a closer look would reveal that they were brimming with extremely tiny particles. Clones were draining the cylinder's contents into smaller containers and loading them on small transports.

Gantu walked up to one of the cylinders, looking horrified. "Is that antimatter?" Hamsterviel nodded. "You fool! You'll kill us all!"

Hamsterviel snorted. "Don't be ridiculous! My storage methods are much more efficient than those of our ancestors! We have nothing to worry about."

"What's antimatter?" asked Mertle, looking confused.

"Antimatter is the contraterrene form of matter," her mentor explained. "Meaning it is the polar opposite of matter. When antimatter collides with any form of terrene matter, even air molecules, it causes a tremendous explosion. A fourth of a gram of antimatter is enough to destroy a building the size of that primitive Earth temple called…what was it? Oh yes, the Vatican."

"Wow!" Mertle was clearly impressed.

Hamsterviel continued his explanation. "Antimatter can only exist in contraterrene galaxies, parallel universes, and when created in particle accelerators. It is an incredible source of power, and for a while it was used to fuel spaceships. This was very dangerous because if there was even the slightest damage to the vacuum capsules containing the antimatter, air could leak in and cause it to explode, wiping out the ship. Antimatter production was scrapped when Uburnium was discovered, but I have found a much more effective and evil way to contain it and use it for my plans."

"How?" asked Gantu, his curiosity piqued despite his fears of being annihilated by the antimatter.

"You see those giant cylinders and little containers holding the antimatter? They are all force fields that suspend the antimatter in an airless vacuum to prevent it from exploding. The base's generators power the big ones, but if for any reason they or the back-ups should fail, the force fields will still be powered by numerous batteries, which will sustain them for several days. The smaller containers are powered by smaller batteries and are less long-lived, but they will last more than long enough to be moved to the cargo ships."

"Cargo ships?"

"Yes, this is an aspect of one of my evil plans. Antimatter is too volatile to be teleported or sent to a warp gate, so it must be moved physically, in this case by cargo ships. I am producing all this antimatter to serve as ammunition for my space fleet in the Crab Nebula. With all the antimatter I'll have at my disposal, I'll be able to blow up thousands of planets and star systems at my whim!" He laughed maniacally.

"So this is your master plan!" Mertle cried triumphantly.

"Actually, this is my backup plan, which will go into effect if the master fails," Hamsterviel explained.

Mertle scowled. "Oh."

"You'd need a huge particle accelerator to make this much antimatter. Where do you keep it?" asked Gantu.

"In a mountain on the other side of the planetoid. I keep it as far away from the antimatter stores as possible for safety reasons. All the antimatter produced there is transported to this base utilizing the old train system the workers used when this place was still a mine. In fact, a train should be departing from there shortly. Once it arrives, this final antimatter shipment will be complete and my fleet will be unstoppable in battle! Bwahahaha!" A light started beeping on his console. "Eh?" He pressed a button, calling up a display. His eyes widened. "WHAT?!"

"What is it?" asked Mertle.

"The particle accelerator facility has been invaded! What's more, the final supply train has been hijacked!" Hamsterviel gritted his teeth angrily.

"It must be 626 and his cousins!" Gantu said furiously.

Mertle rolled her eyes. "Well, DUH."

"We must stop those experiments at once! I want that antimatter!" He stormed out of the room, followed by his lackeys.

A few minutes later, Kixx's voice asked, "Are they gone?"

"Yes," said Houdini's voice.

"Good. Let's get to work!"

…

In a distant tunnel, a fifteen-ton train engine rushed along a rail, pulling maybe a dozen cars loaded with antimatter containers behind it. On the rails on either side of it, smaller cars manned by clones kept pace with the train, peppering the big train with plasma bullets. The bullets only did marginal damage to the cargo train's heavy shielding, but they kept firing anyway. Up ahead, a pair of heavy doors closed over the tunnel exit. A big double cannon turret rose from the top of the engine and fired, blasting the door off its hinges and allowing the train to pass through. As the transport vehicle exited, there was an enormous explosion from deep within the mountain it had just left, causing rubble to fall from above and bury the tunnel entrance, destroying the enemy cars. A few of the train cars got caught in the avalanche, but due to their extreme toughness they were almost completely unharmed as they got buried beneath the rocks, leaving their volatile cargo intact. The rest of the train detached from the cars in the rubble and continued on its way unhindered.

"Good thing this train has a release mechanism that allows us to get rid of any car that's in danger of slowing us down, right guys?" asked Clip in the engine car.

"You said it!" Agreed Finder.

Stitch patted Sparky on the back. "Nice work on that particle accelerator back there, Sparks!"

The electric experiment grinned. "That should set the Doc back a few million credits. So what're we gonna do with all this antimatter?"

Slugger looked up from a computer display. "Well, according to the train's computer, this shipment was supposed to be delivered to Hamsterviel's base. I say we bring it to him a little ahead of schedule."

"At ramming speed, right? I like it!" exclaimed Stitch.

Angel shook her head. "Won't work. The armor on this train's too thick. We could fall off this rail and plummet several thousand feet to the ground below, but it would probably just get dented a little. Crashing into the doc's base won't generate enough force to blow it up."

Stitch frowned. He was still miffed that Angel had beaten him at the Blargarian Battle challenge, and was not totally pleased that he was being forced to keep working with his ex. (Even if they still secretly liked each other.) "Okay then, what do you suggest we do instead?"

Angel tossed him a communicator, which was already on and linked with a certain digital arachnid. "I don't have any ideas…but I think Hacker does!"

Stitch shrugged and held the communicator up to his face. He might have a brain faster than a supercomputer, but he wasn't smarter than one, and that's where Hacker came in. "Okay Hack, what's your idea?"

"Well, I've got Kixx's team sneaking around Hamsterviel's antimatter store room, trying to sabotage the batteries powering the force field containers. That way, when he loads them onto his transports, they'll short out and explode, hopefully close to his star fleet. That way, we can do serious damage to his plans! But, they'll need a diversion. If you guys keep heading towards the base, Hamsterviel will have to focus on stopping you guys and getting the rest of the antimatter. He can't destroy the train because it's too heavily armored and the resulting antimatter explosion would probably annihilate the planetoid, so he'll have to derail you instead. If you guys can keep him distracted long enough, Kixx and his team can finish their sabotage and get out of the base without being spotted. Think you can do that?"

"No problem!" said Stitch.

"Okay. I still haven't found out where Hamsterviel's real hideout is, or what he wants with Lilo or that Star of Destiny, so I'd better get back to my hacking. Seeya later!" Hacker signed off.

Stitch switched off the communicator. Now that Hacker had given him something to work with, he was already formulating a plan. "Okay, Sparky, supercharge the engine to make us go faster and fool Hamsterviel into thinking we're really going to try to crash into his base. Slugger, get on the roof and be our lookout. I'll man the cannons, and Team Angel can take some of the antimatter from the cars and load it in here."

"Why?" asked Angel.

"With all these cars behind us, we'll make a big target. We may need to detach most of those cars to distract the goons trying to get the cargo back. If we move some of the antimatter in here, it'll help with the 'suicide train' image and keep some of the bad guys after us, because the Doctor will want every milligram of antimatter back. If he thinks we're really serious about crashing and blowing him up with the antimatter, he'll have to pay more attention to us then what's going on in his storeroom," Stitch explained.

"No, I mean why do we have to do the grunt work?" Angel complained.

"Because I said so."

Angel growled and led her team out the back of the engine car. "Why you gotta be so mean to her?" asked Slugger.

Stitch grunted. "I'm still angry at her for beating that Snagglebeast faster than me. If her team hadn't been there, we probably would have gotten enough points to win the game. She shouldn't even be here in the first place. I don't see why Jumba had to send her and the others out here, we could have gotten along fine without them!"

"Hey, without her team we never would have found this planetoid anyway, or the particle accelerator, or this train. We couldn't have done any of that without Finder's nose or Hacker's info!" Sparky pointed out as his antenna hooked up to the engine core, boosting its power and causing an increase in speed.

"We could have done it without them," Stitch grumbled.

"Could not," said Slugger.

"Shut up. Okay, I guess we needed Finder, but Clip and Angel didn't have to come."

"Yes they did," Slugger pointed out. "Everyone knows Clip and Finder are a couple so she would never stay behind, and we all know Angel still likes you and would have come anyway even if Jumba hadn't told her to come and help."

Stitch blinked. "Wait, she still likes me?"

They both stared at him. "…You didn't KNOW?!"

"No." If this cartoon series were anime (and it's not) Sparky and Slugger would have facefaulted.

"Yes, she still likes you," said Slugger, exasperated.

Stitch grinned. "Then I just need to apologize for whatever I said in our big break-up argument, and we'll be back together, right?"

Sparky shrugged. "Well, if you were a character in a cheesy story, then theoretically yes."

"Great! I'll just go talk to her now and-"

"Shouldn't you be manning the guns?" asked Slugger.

"Shouldn't you be on the roof?" Stitch retorted.

Slugger grumbled. "Touché." He started climbing up the ladder to the roof, while Stitch headed to the gunner's chair. Sparky chuckled and continued to supercharge the train.

…

"Lousy rotten blitznagging little…why'd he have to send us to do the dirty work?!" Angel complained. Her team had gone all the way to the last car and was grabbing antimatter cylinders from the wall. She and Finder had sprouted extra arms to carry them, but Clip didn't have any spare limbs so she had to stick the tubes into her hairy body.

"I think it's because you beat his time in the Blargarian Battle challenge and got more credits than he did," said Finder.

"That's no reason to get angry at me!" she said, frustrated.

"You were pretty angry at Hamsterviel for singing so well," Clip pointed out.

"…That's because he won, and he's the _bad guy._ We're not _supposed_ to let him win."

"Looked more like you were jealous," Finder said.

"JEALOUS?!"

"Well yeah, I mean you've always thought you were the best singer in the galaxy, so I can imagine that it must be hard to find that somebody who you really hate is actually better than you and…uh…" He paused, trembling at the look on Angel's face. "…I shouldn't have brought that up, should I?"

Clip shook her head. "Nope."

"DIE!" Finder screamed and started running from Angel, who was now trying to stab him with her dagger. Clip rolled her eyes and started picking up the antimatter containers her idiot teammates had dropped.

Without warning, something hit the car, causing it to shake. "What the-"

The door at the other end of the car opened, revealing a bunch of Felix clones. They had attached another car to the one they were in so they could get on the train. Angel immediately stopped chasing Finder and got into a fighters stance. "Okay, if you rip-offs want this antimatter you're gonna have to-"

Suddenly, the car lurched again. The lights began flashing red as a computerized intercom voice said, "Warning! Disengaging mechanism has been activated. This car will be detached in 5…4…3…"

Team Angel stared at the intercom in horror then ran for the way that they had come in, leaving the confused clones in the dust. They made it out the door and into the next car just as the car detached, causing it to fall away from the train. The look on the clones' faces as they were left behind was hilarious.

Finder wiped away some sweat. "Phew! That was close."

"Why'd they detach the car? Didn't they know we were in it?" Angel asked angrily.

"Probably not, when Stitch told us to get some antimatter he probably expected us to get some from the next car, not from all the way in the back," Clip said.

"…Oh."

Finder suddenly realized that he had dropped all his antimatter containers when they were escaping the car. "Hey, did either of you happen to grab my containers?"

Clip pulled them out of her body. "Here honey."

"Thanks." As he reached out to grab them, something hit the car, causing Clip to drop the containers. They rolled out the open door and fell through the rails, falling to the ground far below and explode violently. "Aw Blitznag."

"Don't worry, there's plenty more antimatter in the rest of the train. But what hit us?" Angel wondered.

"I'll look." Finder poked his head out the door. Just a few dozen yards down the rail was a smaller train car with a huge gun on it. He leaped backwards as the train fired a HUGE cannonball at him, smashing into the door and causing the car to shake.

"It's a VERY good thing these cars are so heavily armored," said Clip, shaken.

The lights started flashing red. "Warning! Disengaging mechanism has been activated. This car will be detached in 5…4…"

"Blitznag, not again!" They dashed through the car and into the next one just as it got detached. The detached car rolled backwards and rammed into the cannon car, causing it to explode. Not surprisingly, the antimatter car was still undamaged. As they were taken further and further away from the car, they saw a group of small aircraft pick up the car with a tractor beam and carry it away. As they did, three cannon cars rolled up, each on a separate rail, one behind the train, and one on either side.

Finder shook his head. "They just don't give up, do they? Let's get to the engine before we get dumped like the last two cars!"

…

Up in the engine room, Stitch was blasting away at a seemingly endless amount of aircraft that seemed determined to drop bombs on the rails. If that happened, they would have nowhere to go and would fall to the planetoid below. "How does he pay for all this stuff?! Clones, aircraft, particle accelerators, a modified train system...how rich can one evil hamster-like scientist get?"

"Well, I hear he inherited his fortune. His great-grandfather was the guy who invented the galactic internet," Sparky said.

Stitch looked at Sparky in surprise. "You're kidding me!"

"No, it's true. And he also still gets royalties from his Super Hygenator invention, which he marketed before he became openly evil. Not to mention he also runs a false banking corporation under the name of Rupert Gerbilwheel which allows him to steal billions of credits a year and replace it with very well-made counterfeit money so his investors and clients don't find out. That and pretending to be a philanthropist allowed him to open a fake fund to cure the dreaded Scrotum Cancer of Nutok 12, which lets him scam even _more_ people."

Stitch blinked. "…How do you know this stuff?"

"Nosy told me one time back at the lab. That guy may be really annoying, but he knows his gossip! Or knew, seeing as how he's probably dead by now…" He stopped, seeing the pained look on Stitch's face. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up."

Stitch shook his head sadly. "No. You shouldn't have."

Slugger poked his head through a hatch. "Hey, we got more cannon cars coming up. And a couple of aircraft are trying to lift one of our cars!"

"Detaching now!" Stitch pressed a button. Five seconds later, the car was detached and being carried away by Hamsterviel's minions.

Slugger frowned. "Well that's one problem taken care of, but what about the cannon cars?"

Stitch rotated his cannons to face behind the train. Then he fired two shots, blasting the cannon cars on the sides of the train to pieces. Then he detached another car, so the last cannon ran into it and was destroyed. "That better?"

"Yeah, thanks." Slugger climbed back onto the roof. Just then, an aircraft flew overhead and dropped something. It landed on top of the engine, causing the train to shake. "Aw Blitznag." He poked his head into the engine room. "Guys, I've got a problem up here."

"What kind of problem?" asked Stitch as he blasted away at the bombers.

Slugger looked up at the tremendously evil-looking Battaxetra clone. "A BIG problem."

Stitch rolled his eyes. "How big?"

"About twenty feet, I'd say. It's a really nasty-looking clone! Could you lend me a hand?"

"Uh…" Stitch quickly fired at the center of a cluster of bombers, causing it to explode and scatter shrapnel that struck and destroyed the others. "Sorry, but if I come up we'll be at the mercy of the bombers. When Angel's group comes back, I'll tell them to come up, so hang on until then. Wonder where they are, anyway…"

There was a very loud roar, and a giant axe just barely missed decapitating Slugger. He yelped and pulled his head out of the hatch. Battaxetra grunted and tried to heft his huge axe for another decapitating swing, only to find it had gotten blunted by the engine car's thick armor. He grunted and tossed it off the side of the train and swung at Slugger with his axe claws. Slugger took to the air to avoid them and flew around the monster, trying to confuse it. This ended when Battaxetra's tail swung up, striking him with its flat side and knocking him back to the ground. Battaxetra roared and raised his head, preparing to cleave the pterodactyl in two with his nose axe. Slugger rolled out of the way and the clone's axe struck the roof. The impact with the thick armor stunned the monster, causing it to take a few steps back, almost off the side of the engine. Slugger quickly slammed into the beast's chest, knocking it into the abyss. "Yeah!"

"Did you take care of the clone?" Stitch called from inside.

"Yeah, and I did it all by myself! Ha, no one can send this homerun hitter to the bench!" Several more aircraft flew over the train, dropping their cargo. A dozen Battaxetras landed on top of the trailing antimatter cars. Laughing evilly, they started towards the engine. Slugger paled. "Stitch! Detach the cars!"

"Which ones?"

The monsters were halfway to Slugger. "ALL OF THEM!"

"But Angel and the others aren't back yet!"

The clones were only one car away from the engine. "NOW!"

Stitch hit the release button.

All of the cars behind the engine immediately disengaged. The clones noticed this and started running, hoping they could clear the widening gap between their car and the engine. The lead clone leaped off the edge of the car, and for a moment seemed to fly through the air towards Slugger, bloodlust in its eyes. Then gravity kicked in and it fell, smashing through the rails as it plummeted to its doom.

Slugger sighed in relief and climbed back inside, where he was immediately confronted with a homicidal pink monster.

Angel grabbed the pterodactyl's neck and started throttled him. "YOU BLITZNAGGING IDIOT! If we hadn't jumped out of that last car at just the right time, or if Finder hadn't grabbed us and flown us the rest of the way, we could have been killed!"

"Gack…didn't have a choice…would have been killed by axe murderer clones if I stayed up there…" Slugger choked out as he was strangled.

"Dumbass! You could have come back inside the car, those thing's axes aren't strong enough to cut through the train's armor!" said Finder angrily.

Slugger blinked. "…Why didn't I think of that?"

Clip pulled Angel away from Slugger. "Come on Angel, just let it go. He can't help being stupid, he's a guy."

"Hey!" protested all the males in the car.

"No offense," Clip added quickly.

"Guys? I hate to break up this enlightening conversation, but I think we've got a problem," said Stitch.

They came over to his seat and looked out the window. Almost a hundred bombers were flying towards the rails, preparing to drop their payload on the track. Sparky whistled. "That's a lot of explosives."

Stitch got out of his seat. "I can't deal with all these things from down here. I'm going to fight those bombers on equal ground!" Before anyone could stop him, he climbed outside of the engine and whistled. "Come on, Stitch Machine!" His loyal space cruiser flew out of the skies, running parallel to the train.

Slugger climbed out of the hatch. "Stitch, wait! Don't leave me here with these crazy girls!" Slugger said frantically as Stitch jumped into the cruiser and flew off to engage the bombers. "Aw, blitznag."

"So I'm a girl now?" asked Finder sarcastically as the sullen pterodactyl climbed back inside.

"Just let it go," Clip advised once more.

That's when the engine shook. Something had hit them…_again._ "What is it this time?" asked Sparky wearily.

They looked out the car's back door and saw there was a large flying machine coming after them. It was comprised of three parts, a large blimp envelope with a propeller on either end, a basket hanging from it that held four clone gunners, a large cannon, and a pair of wings with engines and energy ring guns, and an H-Hawk attached to the top of the envelope. This was Hamsterviel's H-Albatross, a somewhat ridiculous-looking contraption that was more powerful than it appeared.

"That thing looks ridiculous. I mean really, a blimp?" said Slugger.

"Be careful, it's probably more powerful than it looks," Sparky cautioned. (Didn't I just say that?)

The Albatross's cannon fired a huge cannonball at the train, rocking it. "Why are they still chasing us? They have all the antimatter, don't they?" asked Angel.

"They must think we still have some. Clip, did you manage to keep any of the ones we were collecting earlier?" asked Finder.

Clip pulled out six containers. "Yeah, this is all I got left." She almost dropped them when the Albatross fired its cannon again.

Angel hopped into the gunner's seat and tried to shoot the Albatross down. The guns aimed at the airship, clicked, and did nothing. "We're out of ammo."

Sparky got a brainstorm. "I think we can remedy that. If somebody can load those antimatter containers into the cannons, we can probably fire them like bullets at the airship and knock it out of the sky!"

Slugger shook his head. "To do that, somebody'd have to crawl out there while being fired on by that monster. I pity the poor sucker who has to do that!" Everyone looked at him. "What? Why are you all looking at me?"

…

"Why do I have to do this again?" Slugger asked as Clip finished tying the antimatter to his waist.

"Well, while all of us are bulletproof and super tough, we don't relish the idea of getting hit by a giant cannonball. You're the best experiment for the job, because you can deflect those shots with one swing of your tail!" explained Angel.

"…This is because I panicked and almost got you guys killed, isn't it?"

"Yes. Now go out there and do your duty!" She shoved him up the ladder and onto the roof.

"But-" She pulled the hatch closed and locked it. "Blitznag. Some family."

The H-Albatross noticed the small pterodactyl on the engine and locked its weapons on him. A huge cannonball was launched from the cannon, followed by a pair of energy rings and a spray of plasma fire. Slugger stood perfectly still as the cannonball hurtled towards him, then swung his tail, knocking it back towards the airship. The ball blocked the plasma bullets and struck the cannon it had been launched from, destroying it. Slugger shifted to the side as the rings came towards him and jumped through its open center as it passed by, coming through unscathed. "Ha!" The Albatross responded by firing more bullets and rings.

He backflipped to dodge the projectiles and landed on top of the gun turret. He stuffed an antimatter tube into each of the gun barrels. Putting his wings over his ears, he yelled "FIRE!"

The cannons rose up to point at the basket beneath the blimp and fired. Two antimatter bullets shot from the cannon and struck the basket, annihilating it in a blinding flash of light. Slugger shut his eyes to avoid getting blinded, and even with his eyes closed he still saw spots. When he looked at the Albatross again, the basket had been destroyed, but the blimp was still intact. It began to move around to the side of the train. It was then that Slugger saw that the blimp had three cannons mounted to either side. "Aw, Blitznag." The cannons fired simultaneously, hitting the car with three cannonballs at once. The train rocked and nearly tipped over from the force of the hit. Slugger almost lost his grip on the gun turret, but regained his footing and ran to the side of the engine as the blimp cannons fired again. He jumped up and swung his tail at the middle cannonball at an angle, causing it to strike the left cannonball and force it to hit the rail behind them instead of the train and ricochet off to strike the blimp cannons, damaging them. This way, only one cannonball hit the train, which was far less dangerous. The blimp flew over the engine to the other side to fire with the rest of its cannons. Slugger quickly hopped onto the turret and loaded two more antimatter tubes. "FIRE!"

The guns fired at the blimp, obliterating it in another flash of light. Slugger was prepared this time and turned his head away to protect his eyes. When he looked back, he saw that the H-Hawk that had been on top of the blimp had survived and was now ready for action. The Hawk (Which was being piloted by a Nosy clone, just so you know) swooped over the engine, nearly hitting Slugger, and flew back towards the car from down the rails. Slugger quickly loaded the last two antimatter containers into the cannon. "FIRE!"

The cannon fired at the exact same time as the Hawk fired its plasma machineguns. The plasma bullets struck the containers in midair, destroying their force fields and releasing the antimatter into the air. Slugger screamed as his eyes burned from the agonizing flash of light released by the antimatter, leaving him blinded for several seconds. The H-Hawk veered around the train to keep from crashing into it and flew at it from behind, firing homing missiles. Slugger finally cleared his eyes, realizing with horror that they were all out of ammunition now. The only way he could stop the Hawk would be by deflecting enough bullets or missiles at it to destroy it, and that could take forever. Still, he had no other option. Or did he…

As the homing missiles struck the car, Slugger pounded on the hatch. "Guys, get on up here! I can't beat this thing without you!"

The hatch opened and Team Angel came out. "Sparky needs to stay down in the engine to keep us up to speed. How do we stop this thing?" asked Clip.

Slugger had already come up with a plan. "If you guys go into ball form, I can hit you over there with my tail. Once you're on top of the Hawk, you can damage it enough to put it out of commission!"

They all frowned at him. "And how are we supposed to get off that thing after we put it out commission? It'll take us down with it!" Angel pointed out.

"…I haven't gotten that far yet, but I'm sure you'll figure something out!" The train rocked as another volley of homing missiles hit it. "So, who's first?"

Finder sighed. "I'll go. I can fly anyway, maybe I can get everyone else off once we damage that thing sufficiently."

"That's the spirit! Now get into ball form." Finder obliged. "Angel, toss him into the air please." Angel threw Finder up. As he came back down, Slugger hit him with his tail, launching him onto the back of the H-Hawk, just behind the cockpit. He gave the other's a thumbs-up. "Great! Now who's next?"

In this fashion, all three members of Team Angel landed on the back of the H-Hawk. The pilot noticed this and barked orders to his gunners. The two Felix clones saluted and immediately jumped out of their seats, falling to their dooms. The clone smacked his forehead, grumbling under his breath about the stupidity of 010 clones. In the meantime, Finder lead the team to a panel above the Hawk's engines. "This panel should allow us to get inside the Hawk and do some serious damage. Angel, can you open it?"

Angel dug her dagger into the crack at the edge of the panel and levered it up, revealing a tiny crawlspace littered with circuitry and wires. "I can't fit in there. Clip, you're the smallest one of us. Do you think you can do it?"

"Sure." Clip hopped into the small space. "What do I do?"

Finder sniffed the air for a second. "Crawl to a spot marked 'Engine Control' and cut the white wire. That should disable the H-Hawk's engines."

"Got it!" She vanished into the depths of the airship. Seconds later, the engines sputtered and stopped working. The Nosy clone noticed that they had slowed down drastically and frantically hit the accelerator, but the ship continued to move at a much slower rate, drifting closer to the rails.

"Good job, Clip!" said Finder as Clip climbed out of the space. "Now the rotors are the only thing keeping this bird afloat. If we destroy those, this thing'll crash for sure!"

However, the pilot had no intention of letting this happen. With a flip of a switch, he managed to turn the whole Hawk upside down, almost throwing the experiments off. Fortunately, they all had the wall-climbing gene and stuck to the hull of the Hawk safely. "I think it would be a good idea if we climbed to the underside of this thing, I don't want to be beneath this bird when it crashes!" said Angel.

Finder shook his head. "No, the pilot'll just flip us over again if we climb to the other side. Let's disable the rotors, then jump away from the ship when it starts to fall. I'll grab you guys and fly you down to the rail."

"All right." They crawled alongside the wing to the first rotor. Angel jammed her dagger into the spinning blades, causing them to malfunction and explode. The Hawk shook and slowed down even more. "Okay, now for the other one."

However, the pilot was not very happy with this turn of events and tried once more to shake off the saboteurs. The ship turned over at a 90-degree angle, turning the horizontal climb alongside the Hawk's body into a vertical one. Despite this, the heroes were unperturbed and clung firmly to the vessel's hull. "You'll have to do better than that if you want to get rid of us!" Clip taunted the pilot.

"Clip, don't make it any angrier than it already is," Finder warned her. "Let's finish this thing off!"

They climbed up the Hawk's body to the final rotor and drove the dagger into it. It exploded, and the airship began to fall. The trio pushed off from the bird as it crashed through the rails and plummeted to the ground far below. Clip grabbed Finder's legs, and Angel grabbed Clip's legs, and they all hung on as Finder's ears started spinning, keeping them in the air. "Well, chalk up another victory for Team Angel! Finder, fly us back to the train so we can meet up with the guys!"

"Uh, I don't think I can," said Finder, sweating and gritting his teeth. They weren't moving as much as either of the girls would have liked.

"Why not?"

"Well, let me put it this way: Clip is light because she's just a bundle of hair, but Angel…well, you've been eating too much Pineapple Pie."

"HEY!"

"He's right Angel, you have been eating too much," Clip pointed out.

Angel's face flushed. "I do NOT eat too much! I'm just big-boned."

"Regardless, I can't carry us all the way to the train. And even if I did, it's moving way too fast to catch up to. I think…I'm…going to…" His ears stopped spinning. They fell, screaming.

A dark purple blur shot down from the sky and caught the trio as they fell. Angel blinked and saw to her surprise that they were on the hood of Gantu's old excursion vehicle. "Hey guys, need a lift?" asked Kixx from inside. He opened the cockpit, letting the three in. "It's a good thing we finished up with the antimatter so quickly, or we'd never have gotten here in time!"

The Stitch Machine appeared alongside the ship. Stitch, Slugger, and Sparky were inside. The cruiser's communicator had been repaired while it was docked in Paradise Vega, allowing ship-to-ship exchange once again. "I've picked up the rest of my team," said Stitch. "I take it you guys finished messing with the antimatter?"

"Our mission was a success. The blind fools never caught sight of us," said Dracula.

"Good. Now let's get out of here, Hamsterviel's ships are already busy taking the train cars back to his base, and a few more are heading this way. We should vamoose before they catch up to us!"

"Roger." Kixx turned the communicator off, and both ships flew away.

…

An hour or so later, despite the delay caused by Stitch and friends, the last of the antimatter was loaded onto the cargo ships. They lifted off from the base and went into hyperspace. Hamsterviel watched them proudly from the bridge of his ship as they left, completely unaware that they would explode as soon as they reached the Crab Nebula, destroying a quarter of his fleet. "Now that that's settled, on to our next destination!"

"And where's that?" asked Mertle from the miniature throne that had been set up next to the doctor's.

"The Shorca system!"

Gantu, sitting on the floor, was startled. "The Shorca system?"

Hamsterviel smirked. "Yes, the Shorca system. I told you we would be passing through there, didn't I? And as I recall, per the terms of our agreement, you can leave us once we get there."

Gantu gave a deep sigh of relief. "Finally…I'm going home."

Hamsterviel seemed mildly amused by this, but said nothing. "Computer! Set a course for the Shorca system!"

"Yes, Doctor Hamsterwheel."

The doctor opened his mouth to correct the machine, then gave up. He groaned. "Why do I even bother?"

The ship went to hyperdrive, followed closely by two much smaller ships, both of which were concealed by the power of invisibility.

…

And so another chapter ends. Tune in next time!


	8. Rumble in the Jungle

Lousy Lousy rules. Next chapter, here you go.

Oo Leonine 252, I don't know any of that sciencey stuff you said about antimatter. I just used what I've taken from sci-fi stories and Angels and Demons. And besides, this is just a story, so the laws of the universe don't always need to apply, right?

Celestial the Hedgird, I was originally going to have Team Dark bust in played by 627, Bonnie, and Clyde, but I figured everyone would be expecting that so I didn't do it.

…

A tiny speck of light appeared in the distance. That speck enlarged and grew into a large ship with a huge sphere for a front emerging from hyperspace, decelerating as it approached a green planet. "Shorca system destination reached," chirped the computer on the bridge.

Hamsterviel cackled. "Excellent! Gantu, your tour of duty is over. You can take one of the ship's excursion vehicles and fly to your home planet any time you please!"

Gantu nodded. "Yes sir. And now that I'm no longer working for you, I'd like to say what a displeasure it's been working for you. I think you're a crazy, greedy, evil sonofabitch who-"

"Gantu?"

"Yes?"

"Don't push it. Remember, you haven't taken your medicine today, and I'm the only one who can supply it."

Gantu laughed. "I won't be needing it after today, but I get your point. Goodbye, Doctor." He exited the bridge.

"You're letting him leave after he insulted you like that?" Mertle asked.

Hamsterviel grinned. "Don't worry my dear, we're not finished with ex-Captain Gantu just yet. You underestimate the lengths to which I will go to continue to possess whatever I want. Computer, land us on that planet over there."

"Yes Doctor Hamsterwheel." Hamsterviel clenched his teeth and said nothing.

"So why did we come here anyway? Other than to drop Gantu off?" Mertle prodded. "Is it anything to do with your master plan?"

Hamsterviel shook his head. "No, this planet just happens to be the home to a very rare fruit I like and I wanted to gather some of it for the trip to my secret headquarters. It's rather nice, I'm sure you'll like it."

As they approached the planet, Mertle noticed several small dots surrounding it. "What are those?"

"This planet used to be a military base back in the old days of galactic warfare. The specks you see are the planet's mine defense grid. Most of them have become useless with age, but I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of them were still active after all these years."

…

A few hundred yards behind Hamsterviel's ship, two smaller invisible ships followed him. "So what's the doc doing here, anyway?" Kixx asked Hacker over the communicator.

"Apparently this planet is home to a special fruit he likes. He's stopping here to pick some up for the trip to his hideout. This could be your chance to really sock it to him if you guys can reach his ship and blow it up while he's gathering food!" suggested the web spider.

"Sounds like a good idea to me. And maybe we can celebrate by having some of that fruit for ourselves, right guys?" said Stitch from his cruiser.

"Right! Hey Stitch, what are those small spherical things all around us?" asked Slugger.

"Those are old mines," reported Hacker. "They've been here for many years, so they're probably all defunct now. Nothing you should worry about."

The moment she said that, a mine the cruiser passed just a little too close to activated and exploded. The blast shook the Stitch Machine, destroying one of the engine nacelles and seriously damaging the rest of the ship. "Aw Blitznag." The ship spiraled out of control, leaving a trail of fire as it headed on a collision course for the planet.

"Stitch!" yelled Angel, horrified.

Kixx glared at Hacker. "'Nothing you should worry about', my patookie!"

She winced. "Sorry."

Clip patted Angel on the back. "Don't worry, they'll be fine. Stitch and the guys are tough enough to survive that!"

"Yeah, once we land I'll sniff around and we can go looking for them, okay?" asked Finder.

She nodded weakly. "Okay…"

Trying to redeem herself, Hacker spoke up. "And in the meantime, Team Kickass can still try and attack Hamsterviel's ship. They'll need to do something to distract him from investigating wherever the Stitch Machine crashed, since the explosion knocked them back into visibility. But don't worry. We'll find them."

…

"What was that trail of fire?" Mertle asked.

Hamsterviel frowned. "Hmm…I guess I was right, some of those old mines are still active after all. If I don't miss my guess, that must have been 626's ship. Who else would have been so close to us? Once we set down, I'll take one of my combat vehicles to investigate where that ship crashed. I'll leave defense of the ship to you, understood?"

"Yes Doctor Hamsterviel."

He smirked. "Well, I'm glad _somebody_ gives me the respect I deserve…"

…

"So how bad is it?" asked Sparky.

Stitch sighed and closed the hood of his poor, wrecked cruiser. Thanks to the ship's air bags, they had survived the crash unharmed and were blacked out for only a few minutes. Unfortunately, the Stitch Machine was now pretty much totaled. "Well, I'm no scientist like Jumba, but I think I know my cruiser better than anyone else."

"And?" Sparky pressed.

"We're screwed."

"Why am I not surprised?" Slugger grumbled.

"The hyperdrive's shot, one our engine nacelles is destroyed, the fuel tank's got more holes in it than Swiss cheese, the air conditioning is busted, the shields were fried when we streaked through the atmosphere…" Stitch shrugged. "It's amazing the ship hasn't fallen apart as it is. We'd need a trip to an auto repair satellite to fix this thing."

"Well, the Stitch Machine's always pulled through for you before, I'm sure it'll do it again!" said Slugger optimistically. That's when the cruiser's chassis collapsed and machine parts and engine coolant scattered all over the ground. "Well, at least it's still salvageable." Without warning, the ship burst into flames and exploded, throwing the three experiments into nearby trees. "Okay, maybe I should just shut up."

Stitch started to cry, something very uncharacteristic of him. "That cruiser carried me to Earth and to Lilo. It helped me capture Bonnie and Clyde, save my cousins from Gantu, defeat Hunkahunka and allowed us to pursue Hamsterviel all the way here and now it's go-ho-hone!"

"There, there…" Sparky patted Stitch's back, making sympathetic noises.

There was a sudden outcry from the jungle around them as dozens of birds rose into the air, screeching and squawking. Slugger frowned. "Hmm…" The ground started shaking. "Guys, I think we'd better move, I've got a bad feeling about this…"

Seconds later, Slugger's feeling was justified as a huge group of wild animals stampeded through the clearing formed by the crash, trampling whatever was left of the Stitch Machine into the ground in the midst of their flight. Only moments later, they were all gone, leaving a trail of trampled dirt and crushed foliage behind them. And with them went all the normal sounds of a jungle, leaving it eerily quiet. "What was that all about?" Sparky asked.

Slugger looked around cautiously. "I don't know, but I think it's-"

"Too quiet?" asked Stitch, recovering somewhat from his fit over the Stitch Machine.

Slugger nodded. "Yeah."

Stitch's ears twitched. "You're wrong. I can hear something."

"What is it?"

"It sounds like…" He paused. "Whirring…" His eyes widened. "GET DOWN!"

He shoved them to the ground as a huge spinning metal top with spikes growing from the sides smashed through the trees around the clearing, nearly hitting the heroes. The top spun back the way it came and was quickly followed by a huge flying machine, far more dangerous than any of the previous combat vehicles.

It was long and somewhat serpentine, with a big bulky front body followed by a long segmented tail with green lights, spikes, and lasers growing from the joints. The whole thing was blood red with glowing green lights everywhere. Two angled wings grew from the bottom of the machine with lights at their ends. A large crest grew from the top of the vehicle, with a bigger green light on it. Three long metal protrusions, looking sort of like the petals of a flower or like a set of claws, grew from the back of the vessel, just above the tail. The front of the ship was a chrome nose with a green laser lens at the end and a pair of green lights on either side of it. Just behind the laser nose was a heavily armored spot that suggested the cockpit. On either side of the ship was a huge rotating spiked wheel, clearly where the giant top they had just seen went.

As they watched, the laser nose pushed out from the rest of the vehicle, revealing Hamsterviel's hoverchair inside the armored spot. "Well, if it isn't my old pals 626, 608, and 221! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Hamsterviel!" cursed Stitch.

"Yes, that's my name. What do you think of my H-Viper? It's my favorite combat vehicle! Pretty cool, huh?" Hamsterviel said, patting the ship's control panel affectionately.

"We'll trash that thing just like we trashed all your other combat vehicles!" Sparky promised.

Hamsterviel laughed. "Oh, but I think you'll find this one much more difficult to defeat than the others. Go ahead, I'll give you a free shot!" The cockpit closed back up again.

Stitch nodded. "All right. Slugger, do that thing where you hit us with your tail!"

"You mean the Homerun Slam?"

They looked at him in confusion. "The Homerun Slam?"

"Yeah, I decided to name our combo moves," Slugger explained.

"Why?"

The pterodactyl shrugged. "I was bored."

"…Whatever. Just do it."

"Right!" Stitch curled into a ball. Slugger picked him up, flew above the Viper, and threw Stitch up. He swung his tail when Stitch came down, hitting him towards the cockpit with all his might. Stitch ricocheted off the armor and slammed into a tree, knocking it over. "It didn't work!"

"Of course not, fools!" Hamsterviel boomed. "The H-Viper is made of the same metal used to armor my cargo trains. It's virtually indestructible!" His nose laser started to glow. "In comparison to my Viper, even 626 is more vulnerable!" The cannon fired a powerful laser beam, knocking Stitch head over heels as he started to get up from the broken tree.

"Stitch!" cried Sparky. He clenched his fists and hit the H-Viper with a thunderbolt, doing absolutely no damage.

Hamsterviel laughed at Sparky's stunned expression. "Don't you remember? All of my ships are shockproof! Your electric attacks do no damage!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that…"

The spiked wheels detached from the Viper's sides and floated in front of it, looking for all the world like the galaxy's biggest and most dangerous tops. "Now to finish off 626 once and for all!" One of the tops started spinning towards Stitch, who was still dazed from the laser.

Slugger dropped down and swung his tail, deflecting the top back at the Viper. The death machine was knocked back by the hit, slightly damaged by the attack. Although the super-tough armor protected against most attacks, it was so strong it was actually capable of damaging itself. "Ha! Not bad! Don't think I've forgotten you my winged friend, I saw how you damaged my beloved H-Albatross! Take this!" A claw shot out of the top of the ship, grabbed the surprised Slugger, and held him in the air over the Viper. Slugger struggled to break free, and received a powerful electric shock from the claw. "Now 626 is completely unprotected! He has no chance of stopping me!"

"Hey, I'm still here!" protested Sparky.

"And what do you expect to do against my H-Viper? Thanks to my shockproofing, you can't damage it!"

Sparky backed up and picked up Stitch. "I may not be able to damage you…but that doesn't mean I'm useless!" He turned into a bolt of lightning and fled from the clearing, bouncing off trees as he zigzagged through the jungle with Stitch.

Hamsterviel laughed. "So that's the game you're playing? Very well, little experiment…you can run, but you can't hide from my voltage sensors!" The Viper plowed into the jungle, blazing away foliage with its lasers and knocking down trees with its wheels and body. Slugger shook his head mournfully in the claw, hoping his friends could save him and themselves.

…

"I'm scared. Let's go back," Houdini whimpered.

"You're always scared. And keep it down, will ya? We don't want to attract those clones," Kixx hissed.

Team Kickass had located Hamsterviel's ship in a clearing surrounded by trees laden with thick, juicy fruits that the clones were gathering and taking back to the vessel's cargo bay. The trio was attempting to sneak past the clones and enter the ship through the open cargo bay, allowing them to sabotage Hamsterviel's plans.

"Be on guard. Just because we are invisible does not mean we cannot be detected," Dracula cautioned.

Kixx rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know, that's why I'm trying to shut up Ms. Scaredyrabbit here. Don't say anything until we get safely inside, okay?"

"Hai, Kixx-sama."

Silently, they approached the waiting cargo bay. Kixx was itching to fight the numerous clones around them, but knew it was too risky. They didn't want to alert the villains to their presence until it was too late. So he was very surprised when an array of electrostatic generators dropped down and formed a large force field. "What the heck?!"

"So, you thought you could sneak in while the boss was away, did you?" asked a familiar snotty voice from behind them.

The trio whirled around and found themselves faced with a new combat vehicle. It had a small body with four huge mechanical legs suspending it in the air. A pair of cannons grew from the back of the vehicle, and Mertle sat in the hoverchair cockpit. Kixx took a step back in surprise. "How the heck did that thing sneak up on us without us noticing?!"

"I noticed," said Dracula.

"Then why didn't you tell me?!"

"You told me not to speak until we were inside the ship. A ninja must always obey his master."

Kixx smacked his forehead. "Oh well, maybe if we act all quiet we can sneak past her. We are invisible, after all." He looked at the cowering Houdini. "Er, we _are_ invisible, right Houdini?"

"Yes."

"Being invisible won't help you! I can see you with the H-Walker's heat sensors!" said Mertle proudly.

Kixx sighed. "Guess we have to fight then. Being invisible won't help us this time, so make us visible again Houdini."

"Okay." She blinked, and they were all visible again.

"All right," said Kixx, shaking a fist at the Walker. "If you think you can beat us just cause you've got some fancy mech, think again! Team Kickass is gonna kick…your…_ass!_"

"I'm sure. Bring it on!" Mertle stomped one robot foot, cracking the ground. The fight began.

…

Sparky zapped through the forest, scorching trees with his electricity as he passed and lighting small brushfires. He didn't care about the damage he was doing to the environment, all that mattered was that he get far enough away from that monster to get a chance to stop and formulate a plan with Stitch. He halted abruptly, seeing he had broken out of the trees.

He was at the shore of a huge lake, with a large fishing village long abandoned by the planet's natives standing on stilts out in the water. A rickety wooden bridge floating on the lake led towards the village. Stitch, who had gotten jolted awake when Sparky converted to electricity, jumped off his friend's back and fluffed his fur back down. "I don't like the look of this place, Sparx. Too much water. Not a good place for a confrontation."

"We don't really have much of a choice when he catches up with us, either we try to fight him in that village, go back into the forest and run right into him, or we try to travel along the lakeside while he picks us off at his leisure."

"Damn. Where's Slugger?"

"The doc captured him after you were knocked out."

Stitch sighed. "We'll just have to get him back then." He stepped onto the bridge.

"Think that's a good idea?"

"If we go to the village we may have room to outmaneuver him. Like you said, if we go back into the forest he can easily find us and drive us back into the lake where we'll be trapped. The same could happen if we travel along the shore. The village is our best bet," said Stitch, not feeling even remotely as confident as he sounded.

Sparky shrugged. "Okay." They started to walk across the bridge.

When they were halfway across, they were startled when the planks ahead of them shattered as the H-Viper rose up from the water underneath it. Slugger, still in the claw's grasp, gasped for air, grateful to be out of the water. "Haha! Found you!"

"Blitznag! Run!" The duo turned and headed back across the bridge.

Hamsterviel laughed and submerged the Viper again. He emerged several yards ahead of the experiments, shattering another piece of bridge and leaving them trapped on a narrow span of wood. "You can't escape from me, fools!" He submerged again.

"Great, now what?" Sparky groaned.

The Viper leaped out of the water alongside the bridge and dove right back in, firing several lasers from its tail. These lasers were not as strong as the one from the nose, and only hurt Stitch a little when he blocked them with his body. A second later, the Viper popped out from behind them and fired more lasers. Sparky got hit this time, and since his skin wasn't as thick as Stitch's, it hurt a lot more. "OW! Blitznag…how do we see this thing coming?"

Stitch looked at the water and could see the shadowy form of the H-Viper moving around, preparing for its next attack. "Look for its shadow in the water, and move whenever it pops up!"

"Gotcha." The Viper emerged again, but this time its back was facing the heroes, revealing a circular indentation above its tail. The metal petals spread wide, and their ends began to glow. Lightning bolts shot from them, colliding in the indentation to form an energy ball which swiftly started to grow. Sparky hit it with a thunderbolt, but that only made it grow larger. "Hmm…hitting energy with energy doesn't seem to work…maybe a physical projectile could disrupt that thing. Stitch!"

"Yeah?"

"Get into ball form so I can throw you at the Viper!"

Stitch frowned. "Why?"

"I think it'll disrupt that energy ball and damage that thing," Sparky explained.

"Oh. Okay." Stitch curled up. Sparky grabbed him and flung him into the heart of the gathering energy with all his might. The ball exploded, damaging the Viper slightly. The ship shook a little and dove back into the water.

Stitch had gotten flung out of the explosion, but Sparky caught him before he could fall into the water. He uncurled and held his head, wobbling a little. "Woo! That was a rush."

The Viper jumped out of the water and fired lasers at them again. They barely got out of the way. "Well I hope you get used to it, because I think we're going to have to do it a lot before this thing goes down!"

…

The H-Walker stomped towards the team, launching bombs from its back. The bombs landed in front of the trio and started ticking down to their detonation. Dracula quickly grabbed Houdini and Kixx and took to the air, flying just out of range of the resulting explosion's radius. He immediately dropped them, because Kixx was too heavy for him to carry for long. Kixx ran towards the Walker while Houdini hid herself underground like the coward she was and Dracula hurled shuriken at the cockpit from above. The throwing stars bounced harmlessly off the cockpit's thick glass. When Kixx got close to the Walker, Mertle tried to stomp on him. The purple powerhouse quickly ran beneath the cockpit, where none of the legs could reach. Mertle bent her walker's knees and drove her cockpit down in an attempt to crush Kixx, but he sidestepped her just in time and punched the cockpit glass, cracking it a little. Mertle stood back up and leaped across the battlefield, landing right over Houdini, who squealed in terror as the Walker's landing popped her out of her little burrow.

Dracula landed next to Kixx as the walker launched a few bombs again and started walking towards them. The two ran through the bombs, dodging them as they exploded, and quickly ended up beneath the Walker's legs. Mertle raised one foot and stomped hard on the ground, sending out a shockwave. The warriors jumped over the wave and struck the foot's joint, temporarily paralyzing it. As Mertle tried to get her leg working again, Dracula picked up Kixx, strained to fly him over the mech, and dropped him right onto the cockpit. The fighter punched the glass again and got thrown off when Mertle regained control of her leg and shook the mech about.

Mertle leaped to the other side of the field, turned around, and launched more bombs. This was going to take a while.

…

The Viper did another laser run, then popped out of the water, this time facing the duo. The nose laser glowed, indicating it was charging up. Stitch and Sparky quickly ran away as it fired, blasting a hole in the bridge planks they had been on only seconds ago. It leaped over the bridge and back into the water then came up again. The Viper's back was facing them, charging up the energy ball again. Sparky was about to throw Stitch when the ship suddenly moved further away, too far for Sparky to throw Stitch. "Damn! He's too far away!"

"Then how do we disrupt that energy ball?" asked Stitch.

"I don't know…wait! I've got an idea, get back into ball form!" Stitch obliged. Sparky picked him up and started spinning Stitch in his hands, supercharging him with electricity. When he was done charging, he hurled Stitch at the energy ball.

His power and speed boosted by Sparky's electricity, Stitch struck the energy ball just as it was about to fire, causing it to blow up and damage the ship even further. The Viper dived back into the water as Stitch landed on the bridge, looking a little dazed. "Whoa…I feel dizzy…" He stumbled around a little. Sparky grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the way as the Viper leaped past them, firing its tail lasers.

The ship did another laser pass, then flew out of one of the big holes it had made in the bridge and came towards them, firing its main laser repeatedly. "You can't win! Give up?"

The experiments quickly sidestepped the laser, allowing the ship to fly over them. "Never!" The two chorused.

"That's the spirit guys! Now GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Slugger yelled as he was pulled into the water again.

The Viper jumped out again, flew off a distance, and started charging its energy ball. Sparky supercharged Stitch and flung him at the ball, destroying it and damaging the ship some more. Stitch recovered quicker when he landed back on the bridge this time. He was starting to get used to this. The Viper popped out of one of the bridge gaps, but instead of firing its laser, the two spiked wheels detached and hovered in front of the ship. One of them pulled back and launched at the duo, intending to slice them to pieces.

Since Slugger was incapacitated, it was up to Stitch to handle this. He jumped in front of Sparky and punched the top, knocking it back into the H-Viper and doing some more damage. Frustrated, Hamsterviel dived back into the lake, then came back up and drove through the bridge pieces leading back to the jungle or to the village, smashing them and leaving Stitch and Sparky trapped on their bridge section. "All systems full power!" He dived again, cackling.

…

Dracula grabbed a bomb and threw it at the Walker as Kixx dashed for the mech's underside. The bomb exploded, seriously damaging the cockpit, and Kixx punched the feet joints, paralyzing the robot. Dracula swooped down, grabbed Kixx, and dropped him on the cockpit, allowing him to damage it yet again. As he jumped off, Mertle started getting really angry. She refused to lose to these genetic freaks!

She leaped to the other side of the battlefield and launched a volley of explosive shrapnel. The shrapnel imbedded itself in the ground and exploded, nearly knocking Kixx into the electric force field. The Walker stomped towards them, firing more bombs. Dracula and Kixx evaded the explosives and got underneath the mech. Mertle stomped the ground with two feet, causing a double shockwave, one after the other. The experiments jumped over the waves and hit the leg joints, paralyzing the Walker yet again. But the evil apprentice had something new in mind when Dracula picked up Kixx and flew him above the cockpit. One of her cannons pointed towards Dracula and spat out a huge stream of fire. The 'ninja' saw the fire blast coming and immediately dropped Kixx, taking the full brunt of the fire.

Kixx looked up in horror as Dracula screamed in agony from the flames. "Dracula!" Burned, the horror movie star plummeted from the sky and fell to the ground, motionless. "Dracula…"

"Don't worry, you'll soon be joining him!" Mertle brought one of her feet down on Kixx before he could move away. He caught the foot in his hands and futilely struggled to push it off of him. Mertle laughed. "Ha! This thing was intended for use against Stitch, so it weighs three thousand and one times his own weight! And you're not nearly as strong as he is, so you don't stand a chance!"

Kixx gritted his teeth as the foot slowly pushed down on him. Mertle was right, it was much too heavy for him. He couldn't hold out much longer. If something didn't happen soon, he'd be a purple stain on this metal mutant's shoe.

…

"Great, we're trapped. What now?" asked Sparky.

"We fight. If we beat that thing, we get Slugger back, and he can fly us out of here," said Stitch.

"Oh, yeah, forgot about him. Where's Hamsterviel?"

Stitch looked around. "I don't see his shadow. He could be anywhere."

Sparky got a horrible thought and looked down at the bridge he was standing on. "Maybe even beneath us…"

The end section of the bridge crumbled as Hamsterviel burst out from under it. "Peek-a-boo, I see you!" He fired a wheel at Sparky and Stitch. Stitch punched the wheel back at Hamsterviel. This was the same wheel Slugger had deflected back in the jungle, and two hits were apparently all it could take. When it collided with the H-Viper, the wheel exploded, doing even more damage.

"Hey, watch it! That almost hit me!" said Slugger, frightened by the explosion.

"Oh, sorry," said Stitch, embarrassed.

Hamsterviel submerged his vehicle without another word, and erupted beneath the other end of the bridge, shattering it and leaving Stitch and Sparky with only a few feet left. The remaining wheel detached and spun towards the heroes. Stitch punched it back (making sure not to aim near Slugger) and the wheel exploded, reducing the Viper's number of weapons. The combat vehicle submerged yet again.

"What do you think he's doing?" asked Sparky.

"I don't know, but it's got to be something-"

At that moment, the bridge exploded as Hamsterviel rose up from underneath it, nearly throwing the duo off. They barely managed to grab onto the sides of the Viper as it flew through the air and dove back into the lake. The metal serpent stayed under for a full minute in an attempt to drown the experiments, but they had managed to get a good breath of air before they had been submerged, and since the Viper didn't have its own air supply Hamsterviel had to resurface to keep from suffocating.

The H-Viper arced out of the water like some great mechanical whale and sank back into the lake, nearly throwing off the experiments. It turned on its side, grinding Stitch into the lake floor. The pressure forced Stitch to let go of the Viper, and it shot past him, nearly leaving him to die at the bottom of the lake. Before it could get away for good, Stitch grabbed onto the end of its tail as it flew over him, and was pulled behind the H-Viper as it breached into the air once again. As they rushed back under the water, Stitch fought the current tugging at him and pulled himself up the tail, using the spikes and laser guns as handholds. Hamsterviel flexed and swung the tail all about in an attempt to throw Stitch off, but his grip was too tight this time. He reached the energy ball generator as they breached once again and punched it with all his strength. Even though the generator was made from the same ultra-thick metal as the rest of the ship, it was no match for Stitch's indestructible gloves, and so it got damaged. As the vehicle shook, stalling in the air, Sparky climbed up the side of the Viper and started pulling at the claw holding the waterlogged Slugger. Stitch joined him a few seconds later, and together they managed to force it open, freeing their comrade as Hamsterviel managed to restart his engine and dive back towards the water. Slugger grabbed Sparky and Stitch and jumped off the Viper as it submerged, and flew them over to the fishing village that was still standing in the middle of the lake. There they landed, waiting for Hamsterviel's next attack.

…

Houdini trembled as she watched Kixx getting squashed by the giant foot. "That looks painful. Glad it's not happening to me."

"It could if you don't help him."

"Huh?" Houdini turned her head and saw Dracula, who had recovered somewhat from his burns. "How'd you get better so fast?"

"Ninjas heal quickly. Will you not help Master Kixx?"

Houdini nearly soiled herself at the thought. "G-go over there? Near the monster with the big smashing feet and bombs and flamethrowers and stuff? N-never!"

"If you do not, Kixx-sama will die," Dracula pointed out. "And what kind of ninja would you be if you let your master die?"

"But I'm not a ninja," Houdini pointed out.

"No, but you could be. You have the stealth and speed necessary for ninjas, all you lack is the courage." He pointed to Kixx. "This is it, the point of no return. Here is where you must decide which path you will follow for the rest of your life. Will you hide here like a craven coward as Kixx-sama is crushed, or will you conquer your fears and free him, proving yourself truly worthy of the title of ninja?"

Houdini looked across the battlefield at Kixx, the closest thing she had in the entire universe to a best friend. There was only one possible response she could give. "No."

Dracula almost fell over from surprise. "What?"

"No. It's too scary. Why don't you do it instead?"

Dracula stared at her in disbelief. Then he shook his head in disgust and spat in her face. "Disgraceful." He pulled out a shuriken and threw it, hitting the joint of the leg crushing Kixx. This paralyzed the limb and allowed him to get out from under it. Kixx quickly climbed up the immobilized leg, leaped into the air, and smashed into the cockpit, shattering the glass.

Frightened, Mertle ejected as the Walker collapsed beneath her. "My mech!" she cried.

Kixx grinned. "More like a _mock_ now. Nice shot, Dracula!"

"Thank you, Kixx-sama."

Mertle fumed. "Big deal, so you beat my Walker! While we were fighting, the clones finished collecting fruit and went back into the ship. We're all ready for takeoff. So long, losers!" She flew her hoverchair into the cargo bay, which immediately closed. The ship rumbled and rose into the air, leaving Team Kickass behind as it flew away.

Kixx blinked. "…Well that was a complete and utter waste of our time."

…

The H-Viper erupted from the center of the village, destroying centuries-old houses and buildings. It fired lasers at Team Stitch, then smashed into the ground, digging back underneath the village. "Now that all three of us are together again, we have to find a way to stop that monster!" said Sparky.

Slugger got an idea. "When I was attached to that thing, I noticed you guys were only able to really damage it when you destroyed his energy ball or knocked his wheels back at him. The thick armor hides it, but that thing is really only one hit away from destruction. If we can trick him into generating an energy ball, we can beat him!"

"How do we do that?" asked Sparky.

The H-Viper erupted next to them, aiming its big laser at them. As it started charging, Stitch suddenly noticed its tail was a little too close to the ground and got an idea. He ran over to the Viper's tail, grabbed it, and started spinning the machine around in a circle. He released it, hurling the mech out into the lake. It hit the water with a huge splash and went under. Stitch grinned. "I think that'll do it."

The Viper burst out of the water. The Doctor was furious. "HOW DARE YOU TREAT MY BELOVED VIPER WITH SUCH DISRESPECT?! For that, I'm not going to blast you with my energy ball like I was going to, now I'll just keep using my lasers until you sink to the bottom of the lake and DIE!"

Stitch winced as the others glared at him. "Oops."

Hamsterviel fired his laser at some of the supports holding up the village, destroying them. The section Stitch and his friends were standing on immediately began to collapse.

Slugger grabbed his cousins and quickly flew to a stable section before they fell into the lake. "Well that went well!" he said sarcastically.

"If he's not going to use the energy ball, and he won't fly close enough for me to grab or punch him, we're going to need a new strategy. We need an attack strong enough to penetrate that armor!" said Stitch.

Sparky thought a moment. "Slugger's Homerun Slam wasn't powerful enough, and I doubt my Thunderball will work either."

Stitch blinked. "Thunderball?"

"Hey, if he can name his moves, I can name mine, right? Maybe if we combine the two moves, it'll be powerful enough to destroy that thing once and for all!" Sparky said enthusiastically.

Hamsterviel jumped out of the water and blasted away at some more supports, sinking the section of village they were on. Slugger flew the others to a safe spot before they could sink. "Okay, but we'd better do it fast, we're running out of places to stand!" said Slugger.

Stitch curled into a ball and hopped into Sparky's hands. Sparky started charging him with electricity. The H-Viper jumped out of the water and blasted their section of the village, sending it down into the lake. Sparky almost dropped Stitch, but Slugger grabbed them and flew them over to the last remaining section of land. As the Viper jumped out of the water one more time, Sparky released Stitch, throwing him up to Slugger with the speed of a bullet. Time seemed to slow down as Slugger swung his bat at Stitch. The water dripping off of the Viper slowed in mid-drop, the lasers' charging time increased, and the supercharged ball that was Stitch seemed to hover as it rotated in the air. The instant Slugger's tail made contact with Stitch, the 626th experiment shot off like a laser beam, piercing the H-Viper's chest and ripping through the other side like it was wet tissue paper. As arcs of electricity and explosions began to blossom from the machine, Stitch landed on one of the few remaining pieces of bridge out in the lake and struck a stylish pose.

"NOOOOO!" Hamsterviel quickly ejected as segment by segment, the Viper's tail exploded, then the entire craft fell into the water below. Moments later, it exploded, sending up a huge pillar of water and causing a tidal wave which shattered the remnants of the fishing village and threatened to capsize the few planks Stitch was standing on. Using surfing techniques learned back on Kauai, Stitch jumped onto a single plank and used it as a surfboard to ride the tidal wave as it rushed to the shore, battering down trees and putting out brush fires that had been started by Sparky's frenzied flight. Stitch jumped onto a tree and waited for the tide to recede, then climbed back down to the ground, which was now covered with fish displaced by the tidal wave. He grinned as Slugger and Sparky flew down to meet him, and the three performed their victory pose, further infuriating Hamsterviel. "YOU…YOU…YOU LITTLE TROGS! YOU DESTROYED MY VIPER!"

Slugger stuck out his tongue. "Serves you right for capturing me and dragging me underwater all those times!"

"Yeah, we'll play with you again some other time!" Stitch taunted.

As Hamsterviel's blood boiled, his ship appeared overhead. A hatch opened on the underside, and a tractor beam locked onto the doctor, carrying him up to the ship. "THIS ISN'T OVER!" he promised. He vanished into the ship, which then took off.

As the ship left, Team Angel came running over to the trio. "Finally, we've been looking all over for you guys!" said Angel.

"Are you three okay?" asked Clip.

"Well, the Stitch Machine's totaled, and we almost got killed by a huge mechanical serpent, but other than that we're fine," Sparky said.

"That's good. Well, except for the part about your cruiser getting wrecked, that sucks. Do you guys wanna come in our ship?" asked Finder.

"Won't it be cramped, with all nine of us in there?" asked Stitch.

"You don't really have much of a choice, seeing as how your ship was destroyed. Either you come with us or you stay here on this planet. What do you say?" asked Angel.

Stitch shrugged. "Well, since we don't really have a choice…lead the way!" The six experiments headed back into the jungle.

…

Gantu's tiny ship rounded the sun as it continued on its course. Inside, Gantu relaxed in his chair as daydreams about his home planet ran through his mind. It had been so long since he had last been there, on a trip to rejuvenate himself at the Purity Ocean. He hadn't taken the time to look around and really enjoy the sights. He promised himself that after he had purified his body, he would remain on his world for the rest of his life to enjoy its natural wonders.

The computer beeped, bringing him out of his fantasies. "Destination reached." Gantu eagerly looked out the window to see the blue-green sphere that was his home.

Except it wasn't there. The spot where his planet should have been was empty. Confused, he checked the computer. According to the data, this was supposed to be the location of his home world. So where was it?

He was startled when a screen lit up, revealing the smug face of Hamsterviel. "If you are hearing this message, then you have reached the destination your navigation computer states is your home planet. And I'm sure you're wondering why this space where your planet is supposed to be is empty. Did the computer make a mistake? Are we perhaps in the wrong solar system? No, my dear Whark, the answer is simple: I blew it up. Your world was an excellent test subject for my antimatter bombs. Not even dust was left from the explosion." Gantu stared at the screen in disbelief, feelings of hatred and sorrow and fury mixing about in his mind. "Now I'm sure you're wondering why I destroyed your planet, right? The answer is equally simple: because I could. And because it would allow the seed of evil that has been festering in your heart all this time to fully bloom into a flower of vengeance." Shackles sprung out of the arms and legs of Gantu's chair, restraining him in his seat. "We have much work to do, you and I." A helmet lowered onto the Whark's head. "It's time to get started."

There was a flash of light. Gantu screamed.

…

An eerie ending, yes? I bet you're all wondering what the doc's gonna do with Gantu? Find out next time!


	9. Never my Destiny

We're nearing the big finish, my friends. Only a few more chapters to the end. The countdown to doomsday has begun…

Anonymous, you'll have to forgive Dracula. He only thinks he's a ninja anyway, he probably just got the honor codes messed up.

Cweek, I am aware by now that Houdini is in actuality a boy, but it's a little late to change her gender back.

…

"Good God."

That was what Stitch said the instant they reached the coordinates Hacker had confirmed as the location of Hamsterviel's hideout, deep inside the pitch-black Horse Head Nebula.

They had arrived from the Shorca system, crammed into the cockpit of the refurbished excursion vehicle stolen from Gantu, and were struck dumb by the sight waiting for them.

It was a fleet. An enormous fleet, numbering in the thousands, with ships extending in every direction as far as the eye could see, all lit by a small, newly built artificial sun. And every single one of them was dead. The ships were covered in rust and showed other signs of decay, indicating that they had been there for a very, very long time indeed.

"I don't think even the Galactic Navy is this big…" Sparky whispered.

"It must have been an impossible feat, to construct all those ships…" Dracula mused.

Houdini quivered. "D-do you think there might be ghosts on those ships?"

Kixx ignored her (as he had been doing ever since he had found out she nearly abandoned him to the Walker) and switched on the communicator. "Hacker, what's going on? Why's the doc's hideout in this old ship graveyard?"

The spider shrugged. "I have no idea. I'm still sifting through his databanks. I checked the Galactic Library, but there's no record of a fleet of this size in history…except for the one belonging to Hamsterviel's direct ancestor, Adolf the Really Evil, which vanished thousands of years ago."

"What would he want with a bunch of old wrecks belonging to his great-great-to the somethingth power grandfather?" wondered Slugger.

"Like I said, I don't know. I'll try to find out, though. In the meantime, head for the flagship, it's this one right here." She pulled up a set of coordinates showing where the ship was. "That's where the doc's base of operations is. Now I gotta go and see if I can find an explanation for all this. Good luck!" She vanished, and the small ship flew in silence towards the massive ghost fleet.

…

Hamsterviel looked up from his computer to see a flashing light. "It looks like we have an intruder approaching our hideout."

"Is it those lousy experiments again?" asked Mertle.

"No doubt."

"What are we gonna do about them?"

Hamsterviel pressed a few buttons. "Let them right in. If any of our prior encounters have taught me anything, it's that my defenses, no matter how expensive or powerful they are, aren't enough to stop 626 and his cousins. But we have nothing to worry about, because once they get in, there's no way out. And our newest weapon will be waiting to eliminate them…isn't that right Gantu?"

In the chamber's shadows, a pair of red eyes narrowed. "My name isn't Gantu anymore."

Hamsterviel rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, whatever your name is, you are ready, aren't you?"

"I'm ready."

"Good. Go and wait for them. 626 and his little friends should be here soon."

"I look forward to his arrival." He left the room.

Mertle looked at her mentor. "Do you really think he can kill them?"

"No, but he can certainly delay them long enough for me to finish up here. Then nothing, not even 626, can stop me."

Mertle gazed up at the horrific monster in the center of the room. "So this thing is your master plan?"

The doctor nodded. "The culmination of it, yes."

Mertle scratched her head. "So how does it all fit? The experiments, Lilo, the stolen computer, the Uburnium, the Star of Destiny…what does it all have to do with this thing?"

Hamsterviel grinned. "Well, since you asked so nicely…" Hamsterviel began explaining his master plan, unaware that a certain virtual spider was listening too.

…

It had been all too easy to get inside the flagship. The ship had moved quietly and invisibly to avoid detection, but they needn't have worried. Any weapons the enormous battleships had once had were eroded from age. There were no mines, drones, clones, space fighters, or anything at all to protect the ship from curious outsiders. They even found an open docking bay that allowed them to land right next to Hamsterviel's globular ship. When they became visible again, there was no outcry or alarm of any kind, merely silence.

"Why hasn't anything happened yet?" Angel muttered, looking antsy. "This was too easy. How come nothing stopped us?"

"Well, one possibility is that Hamsterviel never fixed up security in this old wreck because it would be too expensive what with having to finance all his other plans, and he figured that nobody would find it anyway since it's in the middle of an almost lightless void," theorized Finder.

"And the other possibility?" asked Stitch, already knowing the answer.

"It's a trap," Finder said flatly.

Clip sighed unhappily. "Knowing Hamsterviel, it'll probably be the last one."

They started walking for the hangar's exit. "Well, we'll just have to be careful about where we step, right guys?" said Slugger, stepping on a panel that was 1/1000th of a shade lighter than the rest of the gray floor. Instantly, a trapdoor opened beneath the members of Team Stitch, sending them plummeting to their doom. The trapdoor shut behind them.

Angel groaned. "Well, that was ironic. Who didn't see that coming?" Houdini timidly raised her hand. "Nobody asked you, Houdini."

Kixx pulled out his communicator. "Hacker! Hey Hacker, we got a problem! Stitch, Slugger and Sparky just fell down a trapdoor and…hello? Hacker?"

The communicator beeped. "Sorry, but I'm busy trying to learn Hamsterviel's master plan so I can help my friends save the universe. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone, and I'll call you back after I save the day. Bye!" The communicator beeped again.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Kixx left a message. "Uh, hey Hack, this is Kixx. Stitch and his pals fell through a trapdoor, so we've gotta go look for them. Good luck with the snooping stuff, I guess. Please call back if you have any way to help us find the guys." He hung up.

"Hey, you don't need her to help find Stitch's team," Finder pointed out. "My nose can sniff em' out!"

"Hey yeah, that's right!" said Angel.

"Then lead the way, O noble aardvark," said Dracula.

Finder sniffed at the air for a moment, then ran out the exit. The other five experiments followed him. Once they had left the hangar, a heavy door slammed shut over the entrance and a huge metal fist fell down from the ceiling, smashing the excursion vehicle to pieces. A tape holding a recording of Hamsterviel's laugh played. Now there was no escape.

…

Team Stitch screamed as they fell through a hole in the ceiling. Slugger struggled to flap his wings, slowing his descent and allowing him to grab his teammates. Flapping more frantically, he stopped their fall and allowed them to land safely on the floor of a very dark chamber. "Where are we?" asked Sparky. "I can't see anything…wait! I know!" He started glowing with electricity, making it very painful for Slugger and Stitch, who had already activated their night vision, to look at him.

"Hey, knock that off!" said Stitch angrily.

"Oh. Sorry." Sparky stopped glowing. "Where are we?"

Slugger looked around. "We're in a big, dome-shaped room. Like an arena of some sort. There's something big in the center of the room, but it's so dark in here even with night vision I can't quite make it out."

Stitch had more advanced night vision and eyesight than Slugger (courtesy of Jumba), and zoomed in to examine the object. "It's big, and shaped kind of like a giant man. Almost like…" He frowned. "No, it can't be Gantu. It's too big, and it has wings."

"Yeah, and since when does Gantu have wings?" asked Slugger.

A pair of pinpoints of red light shone from the darkness. "Since now."

They all recognized the voice. "Gantu?"

"I once went by that name. When I was weaker. Fleshier. When I still had a life, and dreams, I was called Gantu. But no more," said the figure.

The trio stared at him blankly. "What're you talking about?" asked Stitch.

The thing that was and was not Gantu kept talking, ignoring the question. "When Gantu was a little boy, he loved stories of heroes. Heroes who defeated great evil and saved the world. Like every other Whark his age, he wanted to be a hero…but when he grew up, he kept that dream in his heart and joined the Galactic Navy, believing it would allow him to fulfill his destiny. He rose quickly through the ranks and became commander of the entire fleet due to his numerous heroic feats, and it seemed as if his dreams had come true…until you came along!"

"Who, me?" asked Stitch, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Yes, you! Thanks to you, Gantu lost his position as Captain and became an outcast! He was forced to serve Doctor Hamsterviel in capturing your cousins in the hopes that he could somehow deliver them to the government and be proclaimed a hero again for capturing them, but instead he fell further and further from his dream! No matter how hard he tried, Gantu could do nothing but fail, over and over again, becoming less of a hero and more of a fiend as you stole the spotlight from him again and again!" He pointed furiously at Stitch. "Every chance he had to become the hero again, you ruined, making yourself into a champion the likes of which only exist in legend, and turning Gantu into a villain, and a failure of a villain at that! Because of you, he lost his job, his dreams, his life…his entire planet! All lost because you escaped his ship on that day of your trial so long ago and would not submit to him like any captured villain should, starting the chain reaction that led to the final transformation that created the being I am now. YOU STOLE HIS DESTINY!"

The lights came on, blinding Stitch and Slugger. They screamed and clutched their eyes in pain. Sparky stared in awe at the monster before them.

Gantu had been transformed into a great shining knight with golden armor, every inch of his mechanical body speaking of strength and power. In his left hand he held a great round shield with the symbol of a phoenix on it, and in his right he held a long lance. A pair of wing-shaped thrusters grew from his back, and they had feathers engraved into them to make them look even more like wings. His face, visible through his spiked helmet, was noble and handsome, with a pair of great tusks growing from the sides of his face. His red eyes were the only thing that marred his heroic features, for they were filled with such hatred and loathing that it hurt to gaze into them.

"Weak, pitiable, mortal Gantu is no more. In his place is the harbinger of your doom, 626, created by the agony and hatred of a lost world and shattered dreams, aided by the evil that is Doctor Hamsterviel's Soul Vacuum." He glared balefully at Stitch, who was trying to clear his eyes. "I am Mal, embodiment of hatred…AND I HAVE NO DESTINY!" His thrusters ignited, lifting him off the floor. With a battle cry, he charged at the trio, lance forward.

Sparky grabbed Stitch and Slugger, who were still blinded by the lights and the sheer shininess of Mal's body, and zapped out of the way of the charging knight before he could skewer them. He solidified on the other side of the room. "Guys, the only way we can beat him is if we tear through his body with our Thundershot attack! Stitch, get into ball form!"

"Huh?" Sparky grabbed Stitch, forced him to curl into a ball, and charged him with electricity.

"Slugger, hit it!" Sparky threw Stitch at Slugger.

Slugger looked around in blind confusion. "Sparky? Where are you?" He got hit in the face by Stitch, breaking a few teeth.

Sparky held his face in his hands. "Blitznag. We're doomed."

"DIE!" Mal charged towards Stitch, who was still blinded.

Sparky yanked Stitch out of the way and hit Mal with an electric attack, but it just slid off the giant's shockproof armor. "How do you beat this guy?!"

Mal turned around and slashed with his lance, sending out a yellow laser blade at Stitch. Fortunately, Stitch had finally managed to recover his sight and grabbed the blade in his indestructible gloves. He flipped it around and sent it back at Mal, who broke it on his shield. "Ah, so you're ready to fight! Now I can finally have my revenge!"

"Look, Gantu, I'm sorry if our rivalry has led to this! I never wanted your life or your planet to be destroyed, I just wanted you to stop bothering my family! I never wanted you to become this!" Stitch protested.

"Nevertheless, it has. And for that, you will DIE!" He charged again.

Slugger swooped down, grabbed Stitch, and pulled him out of the way before Mal could kill him. "Why are you ragging on Stitch, anyway? If anyone's responsible for all the bad stuff that happened to you, it's Hamsterviel! He turned you into this monster, didn't he?"

Mal paused, then shook his head. "He would never have transformed Gantu and destroyed his world if he hadn't failed so many times, and he wouldn't have failed so much if 626 had not ruined his life to begin with!"

"Hey, you didn't have to work for Hamsterviel after I cost you your job, you could have gone to work for anyone else! But you wanted revenge, didn't you? And because of your thirst for vengeance, you kept fighting me and kept sinking yourself deeper and deeper into failure! You're partly to blame for this too, you know!" Stitch pointed out.

Mal blinked. "I…no! NO! Stop confusing me!"

"No one person is to blame for your failure, Gantu," said Sparky. "Sure, Stitch caused you to lose your hero status…but you lost it even more by working for Hamsterviel, who caused you to become more evil and eventually led to this! Stitch and Hamsterviel may have ruined your life…but you ruined it too!"

Mal gritted his teeth. "SHUT UP! Gantu may have ruined his life, but that's not who I am anymore! I'm stronger, faster, superior in every way!" He slashed his lance dozens of times, sending several laser blades at Stitch.

Stitch and Slugger punched and deflected the blades, knocking them all over the room. One got past the robot's shield, nicking his shoulder. "Just look at yourself! You claim to be better than you were before…but all that's changed is your body! You're still the same sad Whark inside, and no amount of name changing or high-tech weaponry will fix that. You're no different than you used to be, because you've still got the same hatred and anger you've always had…and because you can't get rid of that, you will NEVER win!" said Stitch.

Mal roared, "I WILL WIN!" He rose above the floor and drove his lance into the ground, creating a yellow shockwave.

They all jumped over it. Stitch turned into a ball in midair, and Slugger hit him, sending him towards Mal. The monster raised his shield, and Stitch bounced off of it, leaving a small dent. Slugger intercepted Stitch and hit him again, knocking him back into the shield. He continued to bounce Stitch off the shield until it was full of dents. Mal looked at his damaged shield in surprise, then growled and fired several missiles from his back. Slugger dropped Stitch and deflected some of the missiles back at Mal. Most of them missed, but a few struck the shield, damaging it slightly. Mal backed away, raised his shield, and threw it at the heroes like a boomerang. Stitch punched it back at the giant, who caught it easily. "Ha! I've seen how you defeated the 199 clones and the H-Viper! You can't use that trick on me!"

Stitch shrugged. "Oh well. I'm sure I'll figure out some other way."

Mal backed up some more and lifted his left foot. The tip opened up, dispensing a sphere. He bounced it up into the air, then kicked it towards the trio. "Take this!"

Slugger automatically swung his tail at the ball. It exploded, knocking him out of the air. "Slugger!" Sparky yelled.

Mal grinned and dispensed another footbomb. Stitch punched it when it came to him, and predictably it exploded, knocking him back. "Ow…" Mal laughed and launched another footbomb. This time, Stitch caught it in his gloves instead of punching it. It still exploded, knocking him back. "Okay, this is getting annoying." Mal threw yet _another_ footbomb. This time, Stitch caught it with one hand, but immediately used its own momentum to spin around and throw it right back at the robot.

Mal quickly raised his shield, protecting himself from the explosive blast. "Not bad…" He rose into the air and charged at Stitch.

Stitch curled into a ball and rolled out of the way, then got back up, grabbed Mal's foot as he flew past, and spun around, throwing the robot into a wall. "Yeah!"

Mal got back up and fired his missiles at the blue experiment. Slugger had by this time recovered, and started deflecting the projectiles. Sparky zapped several of them to help, and Stitch punched others, causing them to either explode or malfunction and turn back on their master. Either way, Mal got hit by several of his own missiles, damaging his shield some more. Getting angrier, he predictably charged at his nemesis again. Stitch rolled out of the way and was about to grab the giant's foot when Mal abruptly spun around and struck Stitch with his lance, knocking him away. Mal took advantage of Stitch's stunned condition to charge again.

Slugger flew at the giant's head, blocking Mal's vision and surprising him enough to halt his charge. Angry, the robot swiped at Slugger with his lance, trying to knock him out of the air. Sparky took this time to get over to Stitch and start supercharging him. Knowing it would be folly to throw Stitch at Slugger while the pterodactyl was distracted avoiding the lance, Sparky instead opted for the somewhat weaker Thunderball technique, throwing the charged Stitch right at Mal's chest. The robot saw the attack coming from the corner of his eye and quickly raised his shield. Stitch ricocheted off the shield and flew towards Slugger and was deflected right back by the pterodactyl's tail, causing the shield to shatter.

Mal was shocked. "No…how did you break my shield?!"

"Would you believe it was the power of teamwork?" Stitch asked as he tried to punch Mal in the face.

The robot grabbed him and tossed him away. "Don't give me that crap!"

"No really, it was teamwork. Sparky threw me at the shield, and when I bounced off, Slugger knocked me back with enough force to break it. That's teamwork."

"Yeah, but you'd need friends to understand teamwork. And you don't have any, do you?" Slugger taunted.

Mal's eyes flashed. "I don't need any friends!" A second shield dropped from the ceiling and landed in his hand. This one had saw edges and the emblem of a dragon on it. He reared back and threw the shield at the experiments.

"Slugger, boost us up there!" said Stitch.

Slugger grabbed Sparky and Stitch and dropped them on top of the shield as it spun towards them. Mal gaped. "That's not possible!"

"Anything is possible!" Sparky said, trying to keep from vomiting from the spinning while charging up Stitch in his hands.

As the shield came back towards him, Mal swung his lance to deflect it. Slugger dropped down and knocked it right back, causing it to collide with the robot's chest and explode. Sparky had jumped off at the last second and hurled Stitch at Mal's face, smashing into it and ruining the villain's perfect features. Mal howled in pain and took a few steps back. "My face! You ruined my face!"

"We'll ruin more than that when we're through with you!" promised Sparky.

Mal was getting really mad now. He roared and thrusted his left arm forward. The trio was startled when it morphed into a huge cannon and fired a laser blast that ripped a giant hole in the arena wall. "I…WILL…NOT…LOSE!!!" He launched fifty missiles all at once.

As the experiments got ready to deflect the missiles, Mal fired his laser at the floor in front of them, causing an explosion that hurled the team away and left them totally open for the missiles, which hit them and detonated, knocking them senseless. Mal grinned maliciously and trod over to Stitch, who was struggling to get back up. "It's over."

Stitch looked up at the robot in disgust. "Look at yourself," he hissed. "You said when you were younger, you always wanted to be a hero. Do you think you're a hero now, Gantu? Are you happy with what you've become?"

"No," admitted Mal. "And you have only yourself to thank for that."

"As I already said, this is your fault too…but you know you're just being used, right? Do you really think Hamsterviel will let you live after you kill me?"

Mal shook his head. "No. But I look forward to my death. It will end the pain of living like this."

"It doesn't have to be that way!" Stitch insisted. "You still have one last chance to be a hero. Help us!"

Mal was puzzled. "What?"

"Help us! You can help us take down Hamsterviel. You can be a hero for one last time. You can find your destiny again." Mal frowned and thought that over. "Well? What'll it be?"

The giant paused, then shook his head. "No, I think I'll enjoy killing you more." He raised his gun arm and prepared to fire. Without warning, a shuriken imbedded itself in one of his thrusters, causing it to malfunction and boost Mal into the air, making his laser misfire and miss Stitch. "What?! Who dares interfere with my revenge?!"

"We do!" The air shimmered, and six familiar experiments appeared.

"Guys!" said Stitch, happy to see his friends.

Angel winked at him. "Team Angel and Team Kickass are here to help!"

Sparky and Slugger had recovered from the missile strike and joined Stitch, reuniting the team. "And we're here too!" added Sparky.

Mal actually looked a little worried. "This has nothing to do with you. Leave now or be destroyed."

Kixx snorted. "You think we're that stupid?"

"Yeah, we know there's no way you can defeat all nine…well, all eight of us together," said Clip, thinking of Houdini, who was at this point already hiding in the doorway they had used to enter the arena.

Dracula pulled out a katana along with a few shuriken. "Evil must die. Prepare to die, Gantu."

Mal was visibly concerned, but still acted tough. "You will all succumb to my fury!" He hovered into the air and drove his lance into the ground, creating a shockwave that everyone jumped over easily.

As the two new teams started fighting, Stitch began to run over to join in but was restrained by Sparky. "Hey Stitch…leave him to the others. They could use some action."

"But then what do we do?" asked Stitch.

"The finisher. We still have a Thundershot to perform, don't we?" asked Slugger.

Mal hovered up to release another barrage of missiles. Dracula glided behind him and slashed at his thrusters with the katana, destroying them and dropping Mal to the ground. As the robot struggled to get up, Kixx gave him a nasty double right hook, snapping off one of his tusks. Mal knocked him away with his lance and kicked a footbomb at Angel. She held out her dagger to block it, and when the bomb hit it and exploded, the blast was sucked into the magic blade. She slashed the dagger, sending the explosion back at Mal as an energy wave and damaging him some more.

Angry, the giant pointed his laser at her. Angel gave the dagger to Clip, who swallowed it. She curled into a ball and bounced up to Finder, who punted her into the cannon. She stuck out her claws and the dagger as she entered it, slicing the gun's internal mechanisms to shreds and causing it to blow up, throwing her out only a little burnt due to the strength of her hair. Mal looked in horror at the stump of his left arm and realized he was going to lose. He started slashing his lance frantically in an attempt to hold everyone back, but Angel managed to absorb and deflect the laser blades right back at him, severing his right arm as well.

Sparky held up the glowing Stitch. "Okay guys, move out of the way!"

As the other experiments cleared the way, Mal saw the object of his doom. "No! Noooo! I was supposed to kill you! I was supposed to-"

Sparky tossed Stitch up to Slugger, who struck him in slow motion with his tail. Stitch flew through the air and sliced through Mal's chest like a knife through butter, blasting out the other side. As Stitch landed, he turned around and looked at his oldest enemy sadly. "I'm sorry."

Mal's body sagged, and his sad eyes showed acceptance. "No," he said. "It was never my destiny." He exploded, sending pieces everywhere.

Stitch shook his head and turned away from the burning remains. "Are you gonna be okay?" asked Angel.

He nodded. "Yeah, it's just…its Gantu, you know? I've always hated him, but I never wanted him to die…and I am partly responsible for what happened to him. I tried to convince him not to do this, but he wouldn't listen. You all heard me, right?"

Kixx nodded. "Yeah, but I think in the end he finally understood. You had to do it."

"It is no sin to kill the suffering horse. The killing is merely a way to end the pain and open the path to tranquility," said Dracula in an attempt to sound wise.

"Well, if that's the case we've got another suffering horse to kill. Come on guys, we've still got to find Hamsterviel and pay him back for everything he's done!" said Finder.

Clip nodded. "And then we'll be able to see Lilo and all of our cousins again!"

They started to leave, following Finder's nose. Stitch lingered a moment. "You coming, Stitch?" asked Sparky.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, just give me a second." Sparky shrugged and headed out the door. Stitch looked at what was left of Mal and sighed. "Goodbye, Gantu." He ran out of the room.

…

The struggles the three teams had to go through as they continued their search for Hamsterviel were legion. They had to cross acid pits, fight ridiculously large hordes of clones, and grind down rails while being blasted at by giant lasers. Their confidence rose, and they believed that no matter what the Doctor had in mind for them, they would be able to defeat it as a team.

They had no idea what the villain had in store.

After being chased by three huge flaming spiked boulders down a steep slope, they reached their final destination, a room the size of a city. Cells lined the walls, containing their missing cousins, all of which looked strangely glassy-eyed. In a containment field in the center of the room was an enormous cyborg monster made from a perfect fusion of red flesh and metal. It was serpentine, with two heads and way too many limbs, wings, and eyes. The rest was too grotesque to describe. Hamsterviel and Mertle waited on a platform at the base of the monster's containment field, in front of three devices. All of them looked like some sort of complex harness. One held the Star of Destiny, one held a strange glowing orb, and the third was empty but looked like it would fit Hamsterviel's hoverchair.

But the real thing that caught the heroes' attention was the enormous army of clones waiting for them. There must have been several thousand, armed with plasma bazookas and space tanks and all sorts of high-tech weaponry. But the truly horrible thing was that they weren't experiment clones.

Every last one of them looked exactly like Lilo.

The nine heroes stared at the army waiting for them in disbelief. "L-Lilo?" Stitch asked.

Kixx swallowed. "No Stitch. They're clones."

"But…but then where's…the real Lilo?" Stitch asked, his reeling mind unable to comprehend the horrible, obvious truth.

Hamsterviel smiled and pressed a button on his armrest. A device lowered from the ceiling. When the experiments saw it, they all expressed reactions of shock and horror. Houdini vomited at the sight.

It was a metal cross. Lilo hung in the center of it, bolts driven through her hands and feet, very much dead.

Hamsterviel snickered. "You like it? I got the idea from some silly Earth folktale. Something about a man named John Cross…or something like that." They were all speechless. Hamsterviel frowned. "What, no cries of anger? No 'How could you?' No 'You'll pay for this?'" He snorted. "Bah! So boring. For that, I'm not going to explain my master plan to you. I've already told it once to Mertle anyway." He piloted his chair into the waiting harness. "I'm not even going to bother savoring this moment, because I have bigger things ahead of me. Isn't that right Mertle?"

"Yeah!" she agreed.

Hamsterviel nodded. "Yes, so I'm just going to skip all the gloating and kill you already. Then make myself invincible." He looked out to his army of Lilo clones. "Fire!"

The thousands of clones raised their guns and pulled the triggers.

…

I bet you all hate me for ending it there, don't you? Tune in next time for the thrilling continuation!


	10. Hamsterviel's Secret

Everyone seemed surprised that I killed off Lilo. Glad I could do something you weren't expecting.

Nukerjsr, for what Hamsterviel's offering her, Mertle willingly gave up poor Gigi along with any semblance of morals she used to have. She's a cold evil little bitch now. We will see what Nani, Pleakley, Jumba, David, and 625 are doing in the epilogue.

Bluefox, don't be so sure Gantu's at peace…he did do a lot of bad things, he might be in Hell now for all we know. I hope not, though…

Mermaid Ninja, how could Mertle's ex-friends or 628 get up there? No, help will come from a different avenue.

Anonymous, see my answer for Nukerjsr.

PIcaRDMPC, actually that's the real Lilo. It never occurred to me to put a clone on the cross, so Lilo's dead for real. Sorry.

…

To everyone's surprise, the clones spontaneously combusted, showering the room with gore. Houdini threw up and fainted.

Mertle blinked. "…Was that supposed to happen?"

Hamsterviel was equally confused. "No! Computer, what just happened?"

Red lights flashed and alarms started blaring. "Warning! Virus detected in Clone Control Systems!"

Hamsterviel was furious. "A virus! It must have activated the failsafe bombs I planted in the clones in case they turned on me! Computer, eliminate the virus!"

"Hacker…" whispered Kixx.

"She has revealed herself so that we may be free. Her sacrifice shall not be in vain." Dracula pulled out his katana. "Swiftly! Attack the evil one! He must pay for what he has done!" The heroes charged.

"Warning! Virus detected in Soul Vacuum systems!" The machine Hamsterviel was sitting in started sparking. He quickly ejected before it exploded. The other two machines started sparking too.

"Mertle! Get my soul, I'll grab the Star of Destiny!" Mertle nodded and ran for the shimmering orb.

Just as Hamsterviel pulled the crystalline star from its harness, the heroes reached him. Stitch leaped onto Hamsterviel, causing his hoverchair to slam into the containment field. He reared back his fist, preparing to pound Hamsterviel into a bloody smear on the upholstered hoverchair. "DIE!" he roared. Stitch punched Hamsterviel with all his might. The instant Stitch's fist made contact with Hamsterviel's face, his indestructible glove shattered. Stitch stared at his now ungloved and seriously hurting hand in disbelief. "What-"

Hamsterviel gripped the Star of Destiny and transformed into the freaky black demon thing seen at the end of Wrath of the Damned. As Stitch's eyes widened in surprise, Hamsterviel put his hand on Stitch's chest and blasted him away with a burst of black lightning. He crashed onto the ground several feet away, crackling with electricity.

"STITCH!" yelled Angel. She threw her dagger at Hamsterviel. The magic blade shattered on contact with the villain's body. He laughed and fired a huge blast of lightning at Team Angel, knocking them all out.

Sparky turned into a bolt of electricity and streaked towards Hamsterviel. The doctor grabbed him before he could impact, charged him with dark energy, and threw him at Slugger. Sparky turned into a bolt of black lightning and blasted Slugger, knocking both of them out. The doctor grinned, then noticed a bunch of shuriken flying towards him.

The throwing stars broke on contact with his body. Dracula swooped down from above, katana drawn. "Die, evil one!" He drove the blade into Hamsterviel's forehead. The sword shattered, and Hamsterviel blasted the wannabe ninja away.

Kixx leaped at Hamsterviel and got blasted away in midair. Houdini woke up, took a look at the bloody Lilo clones and the demonic Hamsterviel, and fainted again. Hamsterviel looked mildly impressed, seeing his enemies were still alive, albeit in great pain. "I underestimated you all. Those lightning blasts would have killed a weaker experiment. Oh well." He pressed a few buttons, and flew in a circle, spewing dust from the rear of his hoverchair. It ignited, turning into a warp gate. "Come, Mertle!" His apprentice hopped onto his armrest, carrying the weird orb. "I'd stay and kill you, but I have other things to do. Your virus may have foiled my master plan, but that's what backups are for!" Laughing, he flew into the vortex and disappeared. The gate closed behind him.

Kixx moaned as he tried to recover from the doctor's attack. "…The hell was that?"

"I don't know…but he was so strong, my dagger broke on contact with him…what is he?" wondered Angel.

Stitch was occupied with other thoughts. He stared up at the hanging cross, sobbing. "Lilo…Lilo, I've failed you…"

"No…you didn't fail her…" said Finder.

"Yeah, Stitch…you did everything you could…you had no way to know she was already dead…" said Clip.

They slowly started to get up. "That rodent…is going to _pay_," promised Sparky.

"Yeah, but how?" asked Finder.

The communicator beeped. Kixx pulled it out. "Hacker?"

"Hey guys." The spider appeared onscreen. She had a weak smile on her face and she was slowly disintegrating. "Glad I could get to you in time."

"Hack," said Kixx quietly. "You saved us."

"Yeah."

"But you said if you did anything active in Hamsterviel's computers, his virus busters would hunt you down and delete you."

Hacker nodded. "Yes. I'm dying." Kixx looked down and said nothing.

Houdini was confused. "But…but why would you sacrifice yourself? You could have just let us die and hid safely in the computer forever."

"Because you guys are my friends and family. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you all, including giving up my life. But I think that's a concept you'll never understand, Houdini," said Hacker softly.

"Finder, quick! Sniff out a way to save Hacker!" said Angel.

Finder shook his head. "Already tried. We're too late."

"No…"

Stitch turned away, still crying. He clenched his fists, ignoring the pain from the hurt one. "Another innocent life…to hold him accountable for…"

Hacker shook her head. "Guys, listen…there's more important things to do now. If you don't stop Hamsterviel, a lot more people are going to die."

"How?" asked Slugger. "We hit him hard. He shook off everything we threw at him, even Stitch's punches and Angel's dagger. The guy's invincible!"

"Incorrect," said Dracula. "Nobody is invincible."

"He's right," said Hacker. "The doc does have a weakness. I found out some very important information about the doctor's plans while you were all busy fighting Gantu. Hearing it may take up valuable time you'll need to stop him, but _you've got to know what you're up against. _Listen to this conversation I recorded…"

…

"It all started a long time ago with my ancestor, Adolf Von Hamsterviel. He was the greatest evil of his generation, and feared by the entire galaxy," started Hamsterviel.

Mertle looked confused. "What does an old relative have to do with this?"

The doctor scowled. "I'm getting there! Don't interrupt!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, Adolf was a very powerful evil wizard who recognized the values of science, and as such had a large fleet in addition to his magical abilities. This very fleet we're in now. Now, like every evil wizard, he sought more power. Through the use of various gruesome spells and experiments, he managed to make himself invincible and was anathema to any spirit or possessed being that touched him. He later discovered he could also transform into a demonic being with the ability to hurl lightning, but it came with a price, as do all things. He lost his soul. He also ensured that every one of his descendants who lived past thirty would gain the same ability and would all lose their souls. Also, he found that if he stayed in his demonic form too long its powers would consume and destroy him. The soul loss didn't matter to him, because this meant he could do whatever he wanted and if he died he would never be punished in the next world, but the inability to use his more powerful form irritated him.

"So, he took raw evil energy from outside of time and contained it within a crystal star. The very star I'm wearing around my neck. By wearing it at all times, its evil power would infuse him and keep him from being destroyed by his other form. But, understandably, this wasn't enough. Sure, he was still the greatest and most indestructible evil wizard in the universe, but that didn't keep people from laughing at his height. So, he got the idea to build himself a bigger, more powerful body that everyone could not help but be terrified by. He combined his limited knowledge of science with his skill in alchemy to begin work on what he called the Ultimate Monster, a being infused with the powers of the five strongest elemental forces of nature. He intended to transfer his consciousness to the monster's brain and, in conjunction with his fleet, terrorize the universe."

"The only hitch was that consciousness transference required combining the soul and the mind, just as death does, and since Adolf had no soul, that was a problem. But, he figured he could just steal somebody else's soul and use it instead. He never got around to it though, because halfway through construction he choked on a fishbone and died. He was invincible on the outside, but not from within. Such a pity. His minions abandoned the fleet and the monster in its hiding place here in the Nebula and were never heard from again. The Star of Destiny was lost and somehow wound up on Paradise Vega thousands of years later.

"My family continued the tradition of evil, though few of them discovered they had latent invulnerability or no souls, and none of them ever had quite the notoriety Adolf had. I only learned of the old story of family invincibility through a story my mother told me, and I disregarded it after I tested myself and found I could feel pain, not knowing the invulnerability wouldn't kick in until I was older. I had no idea of my true potential until one day in Jumba's laboratory where I was assaulted by an early experiment, and I somehow repelled it with lightning bolts. In retrospect, I think some spirit or ethereal being must have possessed this experiment, which is why it triggered my latent abilities. Later that same day I survived being blown up by a failed invention, but I attributed that to sheer luck and forgot about the incident for a few years.

"Then, just over a year ago, one of my captive experiments snapped during training and tried to kill me. The experiment's attacks had no effect on me, startling both of us. I had the experiment restrained and brainwashed, then I attempted to figure out what had just happened. I recalled how I had survived the explosion and the attack back at Jumba's lab, and also remembered the old stories about Adolf. I realized there had to be a connection. I performed several tests that confirmed that I was indeed invincible, proving the old stories correct. Since that was true, I realized the tale about him having a fleet and a monster capable of destroying the galaxy had to be true as well. After days of looking through the old family archives, I learned of my ancestor's experiments and of his demonic state. I also found the fleet's location and decided to investigate it. I believed that if I could find the fleet and the weapon, I could add them to the newer armada I had been building in secret and conquer the galaxy.

"However, I remembered that I already had a plan in the works to gather the remaining experiments and destroy 626, so I decided to see how that would work out. The plan was a failure, but it proved an excellent test of my clone army and I managed to eliminate several potential threats to my reign. I also transformed to my demonic state for the first time when my captive experiments rebelled, and I killed them easily. But only moments later, I discovered my own power was beginning to consume me, so I changed back. I rechecked the records and found out I had nearly killed myself by transforming, so I swore never to do it again until I could find a way to keep my life intact. I then went to investigate the fleet.

"What I found wasn't promising. The fleet had decayed over age, and so had the incomplete monster. Even if the monster had been complete, by this point it was obsolete by Galactic standards and wouldn't have been too formidable a threat. So, I formulated a new master plan. I refurbished the interior of this flagship and removed the monster from its containment chamber for study. I cloned it and made numerous changes to its genetic structure, along with various cybernetic enhancements, to make the beast infinitely stronger. Even then, there were still large holes in its DNA due to the physical decay in the original, and I wasn't a good enough geneticist to plug those holes on my own. I planned to remedy that by going to Earth once the monster's superstructure was almost complete so I could obtain experiments and sample their DNA as well as that recorded in Jumba's computer so I could encode it into the monster's genes to give it the powers of every experiment.

"I needed lots of Uburnium as well, for the new heart I had given the monster was really a sort of recycling engine. I found a way to use fuel as a blood substitute, allowing the creature to go without food or air indefinitely, so it could breathe in space. And I had another reason for capturing the experiments other than DNA samples, for I, like my ancestor, intended to transfer my consciousness into the monster, but I couldn't do that because I had no soul. I could easily obtain one using my Soul Vacuum technology, but unlike my ancestor, I did not think just any soul would do. If, for some reason, my monster body were to die, the soul I had taken for myself would no doubt be too weak to resist the flames of the infernal regions, and I would burn for all eternity. Therefore I needed more than one soul, for the more soul one has in the next world, the more power they wield. And what better candidates did I have for powerful souls than experiments? So I brought all these experiments here to fuse their souls into one which I could use to control the monster and survive in the next world if I happened to die."

"Wow!" said Mertle. "But what about the Star of Destiny?"

"That too, figured into my plans. Even after the monster has a mind, soul, blood, and DNA, it still lacks the spark it needs to bring it to life. My ancestor faced the same problem. He realized he could use the evil energy inside the Star of Destiny to jump-start his monster. The beast would absorb the evil power, and become truly invincible. I will do the same thing with my monster. Once I am in command of the creature's body, I will be the most feared being in the universe!"

Mertle looked sullen. "And I'll be stuck as plain old Mertle forever."

Hamsterviel frowned, thinking that over. He had grown to like Mertle, and he would be unable to continue teaching her as effectively if he became a giant monster. He snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "I know! You can use the prototype!"

"Prototype?"

"Yes, I kept the original monster and fixed it up a bit just in case something happened to the new one. I planned to transfer myself into the original monster if my own were somehow disabled as part of my backup plan, but if all goes well you can utilize the old monster instead. Then we can continue to be master and apprentice, terrorizing the universe together!"

Mertle clapped her hands. "Great! Let's get started!" She paused. "Hey, how come you didn't just transform when you had the Star back in the jungle and blast Stitch's buddies instead of using the H-Viper?"

Hamsterviel crossed his arms. "I liked the H-Viper. And transforming makes my stomach queasy anyway."

"Oh. And another thing, what did Lilo have to do with anything?"

"She was bait for 626. I've cloned her to create an army that he will be unable to defeat without causing serious psychological damage to himself. After I finished obtaining her DNA, I had no more use for the real Lilo, so I killed her."

Mertle was shocked. "You killed Weird-lo?"

"Yes."

"Cool, you've fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams!" She bowed to him, impressed. "I'll never be as evil as you are."

Hamsterviel chuckled. "Someday my dear, someday."

…

"So_ that's_ what he's been up to all along!" said Slugger. "He's trying to turn himself into the Ultimate Monster!"

"Yes," agreed Hacker. "And now that I've disabled the Soul Vacuum transfer devices, he's using his backup plan. He'll take control of the prototype, absorb the Star's evil energy, and combine his power with that of his fleet's to be almost unbeatable. You have to stop him!"

"How?" They all asked.

A complex diagram appeared on the communicator. "I found this schematic for the prototype after the doctor finished explaining his plans. I was so busy looking for it, I couldn't warn you guys about the Lilo clones. Anyway, he's probably loaded his mind into the monster by now and initiated the power-up sequence, but there's still a chance to stop him. If you can destroy the Star of Destiny while it's still being drained, it'll release an excess of evil energy resulting in a power overload that'll destroy Hamsterviel forever."

"What about that soul thing made up from our cousins? I don't want them to be part of Hamsterviel forever if we kill him!" said Finder.

"Don't worry, I found an error he made when he fused them all together. If he dies, the souls will separate and become individual spirits again," explained Hacker.

"Is there any way we can return those souls to their bodies?" asked Stitch.

Hacker looked forlorn. "…No. There's no way. I'm sorry."

"And there's nothing we can do for Lilo either, I suppose."

"Nothing. I'm sorry."

Stitch shook his head. "No. Hamsterviel's the one who'll be sorry."

"One last thing…" A set of coordinates appeared over the schematic. "Punch these in to that teleporter over there, and it'll send you right to the prototype's launching area."

"Thank you, Hack…for everything," said Kixx.

"Thank you all for being the best cousins a virtual girl could ever have." She grinned, then shuddered. "It's happening, my data's decompiling…this is it. Goodbye, everyone." She vaporized.

"Hacker?" Kixx shook the communicator. "Hacker?" His shoulders slumped. "She's gone."

"But not forgotten." Everyone looked at Stitch. "Hacker is just one of many whose lives have been destroyed by Hamsterviel. Hunkahunka, Gantu, all our cousins…Lilo…and we're on the list too. But we have something everyone before us didn't have."

"What?" asked Sparky.

"A chance. The nine of us are all that's left. We're all that stands in the way of that bastard and the rest of the universe. I'm taking him down…to avenge everyone he's hurt, and to keep anyone else from feeling the same pain we have. Who's with me?" He extended a hand.

Slugger and Sparky immediately put their hands over his. Angel, Clip, and Finder joined in only seconds later. Kixx and Dracula placed their hands on top and looked at Houdini expectantly. "Well Houdini? Aren't you coming with us?" asked Clip.

The rabbit looked at them in horror and shook her head. "You're all crazy! Hamsterviel's too powerful and scary, you can't beat him! I'm staying here where it's safe!"

They looked at the bunny in disappointment. Just as Angel was about to give her some words of encouragement, Stitch said, "Fine." They looked at him in surprise. "We don't need a coward hindering us in this fight."

"That's a horrible thing to say!" protested Angel.

"But true."

"Stitch-sama is right," said Dracula. "The stakes are too high. We need every experiment capable of fighting to counter the threat that is Hamsterviel. Houdini has never once shown a single iota of fighting skills, and stealth will no doubt be useless in the coming battle. If it is her choice to remain here while we fight for our lives to save the universe as we know it, that's her decision."

"Is this really what you want, Houdini?" asked Kixx.

She took a deep breath. "Yes. I'm staying here."

Kixx sighed. "Then Team Kickass is no more."

Dracula put a hand on the pugilist's shoulder. "Do not be certain, Kixx-sama…I still stay at your side." Kixx couldn't help smiling at that.

"Then I guess this is the parting of the ways," said Finder sadly.

"Goodbye Houdini. If we live, we'll come back and pick you up. If we don't, you can feel guilty for the rest of your hopefully short life knowing your cowardice may have caused our deaths," said Slugger. Sparky hit him. "Ow!"

"Ignore him, even if he is right," said Sparky. "So long, Houdini."

The eight experiments said the rest of their good-byes, then turned and walked into the teleporter, leaving the coward rabbit alone. They inputted the coordinates Hacker left them and vanished in a flash of light. In the last second before they de-molecularized, Houdini thought they looked exactly as true heroes should, departing to fight their greatest enemy for the sake of all existence. Deep down they were terrified of what they would face but they were willing to face it anyway, because that's what real heroes do. And then she was all alone, in a huge room with nothing but empty experiment shells all around her.

…

And so the master plan is revealed. Next chapter is the biggest fight yet, pitting all three teams against Hamsterviel's Ultimate Monster. To see who will win, tune in next time.


	11. Ultimate

At long last, we've reached the final battle. The next part will be the epilogue, so I guess this is the last chapter. Thank you everyone for sticking with me this long, and enjoy the show.

Mystical Raven, why are you pitying Houdini? Well, I guess you could feel kind of sorry for her since she's a spineless self-centered coward with no real understanding of friendship…and will you stop E-mailing me?!

Mona, good to hear from you again. No, I've never read The Running Man, what's it about? I'm glad you liked the game show, disguises, and DDR plug (even though I've never played it.). I'm happy you enjoyed the train gags so much. I don't make up the boss vehicles, they're all appropriated from Sonic video games. And I think I am an atheist, but that doesn't mean I can't pretend that I believe for story purposes, right? I made Lilo die to evoke hatred for Hamsterviel from the fans and to do something unexpected, and I see it worked.

Redward652, what makes you think I'm making fun of WWII? I just used the name Adolf because I couldn't think of anything eviler.

Mermaid Ninja, the Star of Destiny is made of EVIL energy. Think about that. That means it can't purify Mertle and if it did bring back Lilo, she'd be an evil voodoo zombie queen. I think she'd be better off dead, don't you?

Anonymous, I actually saw that episode of Darkwing Duck. Anyway, I'm glad you've enjoyed all my unexpected plot twists and stuff, and I hope what happens in this chapter is good enough for you. And by the way, I'm a guy. Don't feel ashamed, you're the second person I know of to make that mistake (unless everyone else made the same mistake and never said anything.).

…

Just to be annoying, let's see the story's main theme song before the chapter starts, taken as always from the Sonic series.

What goes up  
  
Must come down.  
  
Yet our feet  
  
don't touch the ground!  
  
See the world spinning upside down!  
  
A mighty crash without a sound!  
  
We can feel your every rage.  
  
Step aside, we'll turn the page.  
  
Breaking through your crazy maze!  
  
Like a plasma bolt, our eyes on you!  
  
Watch us blow the night away!  
  
Watch us save the day.  
  
Feel our strong arms getting close,  
  
Headed your way!  
  
STITCH HEROES! STITCH HEROES!  
  
Find you, confine you, dividing a blaze!  
  
STITCH HEROES! STITCH HEROES!  
  
Setting the stage for a hero's parade!  
  
We won't ever hesitate!  
  
A second left to alter fate!  
  
Tried to strike, but hit too late!  
  
We've got to look by our own rate!  
  
STITCH HEROES! STITCH HEROES!  
  
Find you, confine you, dividing a blaze!  
  
STITCH HEROES! STITCH HEROES!  
  
Setting the stage for a hero's parade!  
  
STITCH HEROES,  
  
HEROES,  
  
HEROES,  
  
HEROES,  
  
Give us a reason and we're on our way!

…

The experiments stepped out of the teleporter and into a huge room. It wasn't as big as the last one, but it was still pretty damn big. The huge cyborg monster in the center of the room, which was surrounded on three sides by tall maintenance platforms, took up most of the chamber. The fourth side was open for the beast's long, serpentine spiked tail, which snaked out along the chamber floor. Since this one wasn't partially obscured by a containment field, the experiments could get a better look at it.

The monster looked a lot like the one back in the ship graveyard, only a lot smaller and blue. The tail thickened as it approached the body, swelling into an ovaloid spiky mass with all sorts of metal gadgetry on it, mixed alongside with thick blue plate armor and bits of exposed flesh that had the texture of aged prunes. Numerous insectoid legs grew from the creature's underbelly, giving it the look of some monster from a bug hater's nightmare. The body narrowed a bit and curved upward into a vaguely humanoid armored torso. At the spot on either side of the body where the torso grew out was a small circular indent with some kind of glowing light in it. Beneath each light was a huge folded limb that looked like some sort of a hybrid between a wing and an engine, no doubt granting the monster propulsion. The monster had two arms growing from its spiked, armored shoulders. The right arm ended in a huge pincer claw like that of a lobster, while the other ended in a five-fingered hand, each finger being a sharp metal claw. Long metal spines arced from the monsters back along with a pair of tattered vestigial wings and more thrusters, making it look like some kind of demonic hedgehog. On the upper part of the monster's torso, what looked like a big metal jaw hung open, revealing the Star of Destiny circled by five colored lights, none of which were lit. Above the jaw, between the two shoulders, a pair of short serpentine necks grew out, ending in gruesome heads shaped like some hellish cross between Xenomorphs, dragons, demons, and gargoyles, with numerous horns and metallic frills like solar panels framing them. The head on the left had two eyes, while the one on the right had three. Spotlights as well as the eerie glow emanating from the crystal star in the thing's chest lit the beast.

At the base of one of the maintenance platforms were several control panels and technical equipment, along with a pair of Soul Vacuums, occupied by the bodies of Hamsterviel and Mertle. They were breathing, but from the vacant look in their eyes it was clear there was nobody upstairs. "Did they _both_ transfer themselves into that thing?" asked Clip, shocked.

Finder shrugged. "Well, I don't see why not. That thing has two heads, maybe it has two brains as well."

Stitch glared hatefully up at the titanic monster. "So you think turning yourself into a monster is going to save you from me, Hamsterviel? Think again! You've murdered my best friend and destroyed my family! I am going to kill you!!!"

"How?" asked Sparky.

"…I got nothing. How about you guys?"

"Perhaps the blueprints Hacker obtained for us will shed some insight," suggested Dracula.

Kixx activated the communicator. The schematics were still there. He examined them for a few minutes, then scowled and tossed it to Finder. "I can't make heads or tails of this stuff. You're smarter than me, you figure it out."

"Okay." Finder looked at the blueprints. "Okay, like Hacker told us, we have to destroy the Star of Destiny before the power-up sequence is complete or the monster will become invincible. But the Star is protected by a force field generated by that glowing spot over the big left wing, which is protected by a force field generated by the spot above the right wing, which is in turn protected by _another_ force field generated by…that machine over there." He pointed to a humming generator. The others immediately smashed it. "That's better. Okay, now that that one's down, we can destroy the next two generators, which will then allow us to attack the Star itself. It would be pointless to assault all three spots at once, so it would probably be more efficient to split up into three teams and tackle the weak points as they open up. That way each of us will be fully rested and ready to attack their generator when each force field goes down, and it'll make less targets for that thing's weapons."

"Speaking of which, what kind of weapons does that monster have?" asked Angel.

Finder frowned as he examined the plans. "Well, other than melee attacks from its limbs, it has five weapons, each representing one of the five strongest elemental forces of nature: fire, metal, ice, light, and darkness. There's a flame-thrower built into the right arm, it can launch its back spines like missiles, the left fingers become ice rockets, the eyes are capable of firing various lasers, and it also has an experimental device called a 'shadow engine' that allows it to manipulate the powers of darkness. All in all, it's a pretty formidable enemy." He smiled. "However, due to a design flaw, it can only use one weapon at a time. Also, we probably won't have to worry about most of them at the moment, because the power-up sequence hasn't gotten too far. The majority of the weapons won't be activated until a certain amount of evil energy has been absorbed for each one, so we should be okay as long as we move quickly."

"Kixx, since you and Dracula are the smallest team, and the power-up is still pretty low at the moment, do you think you guys could take out the first generator while the monster's still weak?" asked Sparky. "I don't mean to insult your strength or anything, but you'd probably have an easier time handling the monster now then when it's gotten stronger."

Kixx shook his concerns off. "Sure, no problem, I understand."

Dracula nodded. "Sometime the wisest course is to choose the challenge more easily surmounted."

"Okay then, you guys head over to the generator on that thing's right side while we wait over here. My team will handle the second generator when it's clear, and I assume you guys will want to destroy the Star yourselves?" Finder asked of Stitch's group.

Stitch pounded a fist into his palm. "Yes. Hamsterviel is mine," he growled.

"You mean _ours_," Slugger corrected.

"But you guys wouldn't mind if we pitched in to help if you really needed it?" asked Angel.

Sparky nodded. "If you guys are recovered enough from your own fight with the monster, your help would be appreciated. Right Stitch?" he asked Stitch.

Stitch nodded. "Yeah, but leave the last blow to me. I want that rodent to pay for everything he's done to us!"

"We all do, Stitch," Angel reminded him. "Don't get all egotistical on us. You don't _have _to deliver the final blow, anyone can. It doesn't matter who does it as long as it happens, right?"

Stitch glared at her for a minute, furious that she dared to take away his revenge. He felt his muscles clench, preparing to hit her. He stopped himself immediately as he looked into her concerned black eyes. _What am I doing? _He thought. _Hamsterviel's the enemy, not Angel. I've already hurt her enough by breaking up with her, I can't cause her any more pain. _He took a deep breath, relaxed, and looked at the ground. "You're right. Sorry."

Kixx coughed loudly to get everyone's attention. "Okay, if that's over with, we'll just be off, right Dracula?"

"Hai."

"Okay then! Team Kickass away!"

Dracula nodded and pulled out another katana. "To glorious victory!"

Clip scratched her head. "Where do you keep all those things anyway?"

"…I'm not actually sure."

…

Kixx and Dracula pulled themselves up to the top of the maintenance platform. Kixx whistled when he saw the monster. "Wow! Thing looks a lot bigger up close."

"Indeed."

"Power-up sequence at 17%," blurted a computer voice. "Activating right side brain and motor functions."

The three eyes in the monster's right head flashed as the intelligence controlling it came on line. The head caught sight of Kixx and Dracula out of the corner of its eye and swiveled to face them. The monster hissed, its speech programs still deactivated. "I think it sees us," said Kixx.

The monster raised its right hand, leaned over, and swung at them. They leaped out of the way, barely avoiding the claw. "I concur," said Dracula.

The beast's tail shook and rose from the floor like a leviathan awakening from a deep sleep. The appendage swung at them, trying to sweep them off the platform. Dracula picked up Kixx and flew over the tail, dropping the heavy fighter when it was clear. "How are we gonna get to that generator?" Kixx asked, looking at the glowing spot. "It's too far away to jump, and I'm too heavy for you to fly me all the way over there."

"Hmm…" Dracula pulled out a few shuriken and flung them at the generator. They bounced off harmlessly. The monster overhead hissed with laughter. "Clearly a more powerful blow is necessary…stay here!" He jumped into the air, drew his katana, and flew straight towards the generator. "YAAAAAAA-"

The monster swatted him away with a swing of its arm, knocking him into the wall. The sword fell out of his hand, clattering onto the platform. Dracula groaned and slid off the wall, plummeting to the floor far below. "DRACULA!" yelled Kixx. The beast hissed in laughter and brought its claw down on the platform in an attempt to smash Kixx. Blood boiling with anger, the experiment rolled out of the way and picked up the fallen sword. "He may not have been a real ninja, but he had the heart of one!" He raised the sword. "For his sake, I'm gonna finish what he started!"

The monster's response to that was to try and crush him beneath its claw. Kixx jumped out of the way, then leaped onto the side of the limb as it started to rise again, hanging on to it. Looking surprised, the monster tried to shake him off. Kixx clung tightly to the claw, putting his wall-climbing genes to good use. Frustrated that the purple parasite wouldn't let go, the monster lowered its arm towards the platform, intending to scrape Kixx off on the edge. That was when Kixx made his move, leaping off the arm when it was level with the generator and startling the monster. "This one's for you, Drac!" he said, driving the sword into the generator. It went in up to the hilt and stopped. Nothing happened. The force field protecting the generator on the monsters other side was still glowing brightly. Kixx blinked. Amazingly, his thrust into the generator had been so surgically perfect it totally missed any vital parts. "I don't blitznagging believe this…"

Growling, the monster reached down with its claw and none-too-gently ripped Kixx off the sword and hurled him at the wall. Kixx gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut, bracing himself for impact. He was totally unprepared for the grayish blur that grabbed him in midair, spun around, and dropped him safely back on the platform. Kixx opened his eyes, not believing he was still alive, and looked up. To his amazement, a certain wannabe ninja hovered overhead. "Dracula!"

"Hai."

"I thought you were dead!"

The experiment couldn't resist a smile. "Nonsense. My ribs may be broken, but not my spirit! Together, let us crush this hellish fiend!"

The monster growled in fury, far from pleased to see the ninja had survived. Suddenly, a red light lit up in the ring around the Star of Destiny. "Power-up sequence at 23%. Activating Flame-thrower."

Grinning, the beast opened its lobster claw and aimed it at the platform. A huge spout of fire shot from the claw, licking the floor of the platform. Kixx started running from the burning wall as it swept towards him, leaping off the edge just before it could catch him. He grabbed onto the wall with one hand, stopping his descent and allowing him to climb back up. The beast started charging up its flame-thrower again, but several shuriken suddenly flew into its eyes. The blades didn't actually do any harm, but the monster recoiled reflexively and hissed angrily. A few more shuriken hit the side of its face, and the monster turned to see Dracula hovering nearby. Forgetting about Kixx, the beast lunged forward as much as it could, snapping its jaws at Dracula. The experiment darted backwards, flinging more throwing stars down the monster's throat while Kixx made his way towards the generator.

He climbed down the side of the platform and leaped to the closest wing, landing on it with too little impact to garner the monster's attention. He quickly climbed up the length of the wing, ending up just beneath the generator. He pulled himself up and grabbed the hilt of the sword. "Okay, let's see if we can't do this right!" He pulled down on the blade, trying to make it cut down through whatever circuitry was inside. To his astonishment, the sword broke off at the hilt. He blinked at in surprise. "Lousy Hollywood props…"

The monster got tired of trying to catch Dracula and suddenly noticed Kixx was now trying to destroy the force field generator on its side by pounding on it with his bare hands. Considering his strength, he had a good chance of succeeding. The beast reached down and plucked Kixx off, dangling him in the air. Getting a wicked look on its face, the monster began to apply pressure to its claw in an attempt to squish the purple experiment. Dracula quickly pulled out another katana and drove it into the monster's eye. The blade shattered on impact, but it startled the beast, causing it to drop Kixx. He landed with a thud on the platform beneath him and painfully pulled himself back on his feet. Furious, the monster fired its flame-thrower at Dracula. The bat-winged experiment flew out of the way of the fire blast and glided back to the platform, knocking Kixx over and saving him from getting incinerated by the arc of flame the monster fired at them.

A green light lit up in the ring on the monster's chest. "Power-up sequence at 34%. Activating missiles." The monster grinned and closed its claw. The tips of its spines quivered and launched off, igniting engines in their rears and homing in on the platform.

Dracula took to the air and started flinging shuriken at the missiles. Several got hit and were knocked off course, causing them to hit the walls or the monster and explode harmlessly. The beast's armor was so thick, it didn't seem to even notice the hits. Even with Dracula's assistance, there were still quite a few missiles heading for Kixx. The pugilist curled into a ball and started rolling away as the missiles homed in on him, forcing them to change course. He just managed to stay ahead of each missile as it hit the platform, imbedding itself into the ground. When the barrage stopped, he uncurled and was surprised to find that instead of exploding the missiles had transformed into gruesome spiky growths. Kixx wrenched one of the growths out of the ground, getting an idea.

The monster opened its claw and powered up its flame-thrower, firing a stream of incendiary across the length of the platform. The monster sweeped its arm across the platform, destroying the spiked growths and bringing its fire stream closer to Kixx. Dracula swooped down and lifted Kixx over the fire, but had to drop him almost immediately due to the added weight from the metal growth. Kixx had no problem with that, though. As the fire attack ended and the monster started pulling its arm back, Kixx threw the transformed missile right at the exposed shield generator. It penetrated the generator and caused it to explode, bringing down the force field on the left side of the monster.

"You did it, Kixx-sama!" said Dracula ecstatically. "That was a move truly worthy of a ninja!"

Kixx grunted. "You can congratulate me later, let's get off this platform before that thing squashes us!" Enraged that its generator had been destroyed, the monster was thrashing about, trying to kill Kixx and Dracula.

Dracula nodded. "Agreed. It is up to Team Angel now." They quickly got back to the chamber floor as Team Angel ascended to the top of their platform, preparing for their assault on the monster.

…

The trio of experiments reached the top of the platform and gazed in awe at the beast. "Yikes, that thing looks worse than Sprout did on bad petal days!" said Clip.

"And it's probably twice as nasty, too. Be careful guys!" advised Finder.

"Power-up sequence at 41%. Activating left side brain and motor controls." The eyes on the monster's left head flashed and came to life. The beast turned to look at Team Angel and roared, disgusted that they dared to challenge it.

"Great, now both heads are active," said Angel.

"Don't worry, since we're on the left side we only have the left brain to worry about," said Finder. "This space is too confined for it to turn around in, so all it can do to us is roar, fire missiles, swing its tail, and try to crush us with that big fist."

"How is that better than the right side?" asked Clip.

"On the right side it can roar, fire missiles, swing its tail, crush us with its big claw, and shoot fire."

"Oh."

"We should be fine as long as we don't give it enough time to activate its ice rockets or lasers," Finder reassured the girls.

"Get down!" Angel pushed them over, barely avoiding the giant spiked tail that swung over them.

Finder started to get up. "Thanks for the save, Ange-"

She pushed him down again just as the tail swung back again, nearly taking his head off. "And you're the one who told us to be careful!" Angel scolded him.

"Sorry."

The monster leaned over, raising its fist. They got out of the way as it slammed its fist into the platform, shaking it and making a small web of cracks.

"That didn't happen when Kixx and Dracula fought it!" said Clip, shocked at the sight of the cracks.

"The power-up has gotten further so all its basic attacks have become stronger," said Finder. "This could be tougher than I thought."

As if to affirm his statement, missiles launched from the creature's spines. There were more of them than before, and they fell down on the platform like spiky rain.

Finder flew up into the air. "I may not be as good as Slugger, but I can still do my part to deflect stuff!" he said, kicking missiles away. Angel and Clip curled into balls and started rolling along the edges of the platform. The missiles tracked them and impacted into the ground just behind them, leaving a trail of spiky metallic growths dotting the platform.

The monster finally ended its barrage and swiped at Finder with its claws, trying to knock him out of the sky. As the aardvark dodged the claw swipes, Angel ripped one of the growths out of the ground and hurled it at the defenseless shield generator. The monster noticed this just in time and snatched it out of the air only seconds before it could hit the generator. The monster shook its index finger at the trio, then crushed the spike into dust. "Guess he learned from Kixx's assault," commented Clip.

Angel frowned, grabbed another growth, and hurled it at the monster. It caught the spike and crushed it easily. "Angel, what are you doing?" asked Finder.

"Keeping that thing occupied," she said, picking up another growth. "Grab Clip, fly over to the generator, and do some damage while I distract it!"

"Oh, I see…got it!" He picked up Clip and flew over to the generator while Angel continued tossing growths at the monster. He tossed her at the glowing area. "Okay Clip, do your stuff!"

"Right!" She started slashing at the generator with her claws, tearing small gashes into it. As she deepened the gashes, the monster suddenly looked down, saw Clip, and realized it was being tricked. Ignoring the spikes Angel was now frantically throwing at it in an attempt to get its attention, the beast reached down towards Clip. Finder saw the shadow of the beast's hand looming over them, grabbed Clip, and flew away just before the claw could slam shut around them. The beast snatched at them again as they flew away, then angrily fired its missiles when they were out of its arm's range. Finder quickly dropped to the platform, and all three experiments curled up and rolled around the platform, dodging the missiles and the spikes that sprouted from them. Frustrated, the monster swung its tail at the platform, smashing all the spikes to pieces, and then slammed its fist into the ground, causing the crack to grow a little more.

"We should stay away from that area," Angel suggested as they uncurled. "It's probably unstable now."

Finder nodded in agreement. "Good idea."

Suddenly, a blue light lit up on the monster's chest. "Power-up sequence at 50%. Activating ice rockets." The monster's claws took on a silvery sheen. The beast leveled its hand horizontally at the experiments. One by one, the claws launched from the fingers, being replaced only seconds later by new claws that launched as well.

"Move out of the way!" yelled Finder. They dodged the first rocket as it struck the platform and burst into subzero mists, which immediately solidified into a block of ice. "If you get hit by one of those things, you'll be frozen solid!"

Clip shook her head mournfully. "And imagine what that would do to my hair!"

Finder kicked another ice rocket out of the air. It tumbled into a second rocket and shattered, creating an ice block that fell onto yet another rocket, breaking it and increasing the block's mass before it plummeted to the ground. "Hmm…" Angel rubbed her chin, getting an idea. "Guys, get behind the ice block, I have a plan!" Her teammates rushed to her side, dodging the rockets as they came over. The remaining rockets tracked the experiments and collided with the ice block, causing it to increase in size. The monster noticed this and quickly fathomed what they planned to do with the block. It raised a fist, preparing to crush it. "Finder! Fly up there and distract it!"

"Right!" He quickly took off and buzzed around the monster's face, irritating it. Forgetting about the ice block, the monster tried to swat Finder away like a fly. Angel quickly picked up the ice block and threw it at the generator. The block struck the generator and shattered, doing some more damage. Realizing it had been tricked when it felt the twinge of cold pain from the block's impact, the monster tried to crush Angel and Clip with its fist. They rolled out of the way just in time and it smashed into the cracked area, causing it to weaken further. A few bits crumbled and fell to the floor below.

"That was close," commented Clip.

"It's not over yet, look out!" They quickly rolled out of the way as the monster's hand lunged at them, trying to grab them. Finder flew back in front of the monster's face in another attempt to distract it. Frustrated with the tiny annoyance, the beast opened its mouth and inhaled. Finder spun his ears as fast as he could, trying to stay out of the creature's gullet. Abruptly the monster stopped inhaling, reared back its head, and blew at Finder. The gust of wind buffeted the aardvark about, causing him to lose control of his flight and get blown across the room.

"Finder!" screamed Clip.

The beast sneered and turned its attention back towards the girls. "I think we're in trouble," said Angel ruefully.

The monster raised its hand in the air and slammed it down palm-first in an attempt to crush the experiments. By dumb luck, they had stood perfectly still and as such managed to remain unharmed by passing through the gaps between the fingers. The beast scowled and squeezed its fingers together instantly in an attempt to catch the girls. Fortunately, they jumped at the last second and landed on the beast's knuckles. The monster grimaced and started to raise its hand in an attempt to shake them off, then thought better of it. It flipped its hand over and slammed it into the ground, seeming to smash the experiments into the platform. It raised its hand and started to grin, but stopped in surprise when it saw that there were no bloody smears on the platform. It turned its hand over and looked in confusion at the knuckles, which were totally experiment-free. Where had they gone?

"Hey big, blue and ugly, over here!" The monster looked down and saw the three experiments looking up at it from the generator, grinning. When the hand had started downward to smash the girls into the ground, Finder has swooped underneath it at the last second, grabbed them, and flew to the generator while the beast was confused! Horrified, the beast reached down to grab them, but it was too late. Angel punched the generator, causing it to explode! The force of the blast knocked them back onto the platform, but they managed to lessen the impact by curling into balls at the last second to absorb the shock. The monster roared in fury as the force field over the Star of Destiny flickered and died out.

"Yeah, we did it!" Clip cried.

Angel nodded in agreement. "Now everything's all set for Stitch's team! Wait…I don't like the look on that thing's face…"

Howling with rage that its shields had been destroyed, the beast raised its fist in the air for one final attack. "Run!" yelled Finder.

They rolled out of the way as the monster's fist slammed down in the middle of the platform, causing the cracks there to finally break into a full-fledged hole. The hole spread, causing the entire platform to begin to crumble to the floor. "Blitznagblitznagblitznag!" screamed Angel as the ground beneath her collapsed.

"I've got you!" Finder quickly grabbed her, saving her from falling.

"But who's got me?" cried Clip as she fell.

Finder quickly flew under Clip and snagged her before she could hit the ground. "Nice save!" Angel complimented.

But now Finder was sweating and gritting his teeth. "Aw nuts…I can only carry one or the other of you, not both! You're too heavy!"

Angel got a determined look on her face. "Then there's only one thing to do. Clip, take care of the others, would you?"

Clip looked at her in confusion. "Angel, what're you-" Angel let go. "ANGEL!"

A yellow blur swooped down and grabbed Angel. "Gotcha!"

"Slugger?" Angel asked in surprise.

He smirked. "Who else? Stitch would have killed me if I let you fall. He still digs you, you know."

Angel looked interested. "Really?"

The monster roared, grabbing everyone's attention. "Uh, can we talk about this later? I don't think that monster's too happy we survived!" yelled Clip.

Indeed, the monster was shooting missiles at them. Slugger dodged one, nearly dropping Angel. "Come on, I'll lead you to where Team Kickass are resting. Then I've got to meet the rest of the guys, it's time to end this feud once and for all!"

…

Stitch pulled himself over the edge of the platform. He stopped, looking across at the horrendous monster before them. He growled. "Hamsterviel…"

"Whoo! This guy looks like much uglier up close!" said Sparky. "Still, it's nothing we can't handle, right?"

"Right!" agreed Slugger, flying down to join them.

"Where have you been?" asked Stitch.

"I had to save Angel from falling off a platform to her doom. Don't worry, she's okay," Slugger assured Stitch.

Stitch frowned. "Uh, Slugger? Angel's almost as tough as I am. I once survived falling from the sky and bouncing off a few mountaintops before nearly getting run over by a gasoline truck. I think she could have survived a little fall like this."

Slugger grimaced. "Well, somebody should have told me that beforehand. Somebody could have told her too, I don't think she knew."

"Regardless of who knew what, we should probably focus on the giant monster, shouldn't we?" suggested Sparky.

"Good point. It doesn't seem to have noticed us yet, so we can probably pull off a Thundershot and break that Star right away!" said Stitch.

"Then get in my hands." Stitch curled up and bounced into Sparky's hands. He spun there, gathering electricity. Slugger took flight and hovered above Sparky as he tossed Stitch upwards. Everything seemed to go into slow motion as Slugger swung his bat at Stitch, hurling him towards the glowing jewel. Stitch rocketed across the gap to the open mouth, slamming into the Star of Destiny and triggering a tremendous explosion. The monster howled in pain. "Yeah! He did it!" Sparky cheered.

Stitch hurtled out of the explosion, landing on the platform feet-first. He closed his eyes. "Lilo…I've avenged you."

That's when they started to hear laughter. The smoke and flame from the explosion blew away, and to their horror they saw the monster was completely unharmed. The tiniest of cracks had formed on the surface of the Star of Destiny. "No way! That was our strongest attack!" protested the shocked Slugger.

"Power-up sequence at 69%. Activating speech patterns."

For the first time, the monster started to speak. Its voice sounded like Hamsterviel and Mertle speaking in unison. "Bwahahaha! Did you fools really think you could destroy the creation of Adolf Von Hamsterviel that easily? I've become so powerful, that barely felt like a mosquito bite!"

"It's lying," said Sparky. "You guys heard its scream, right? I bet that Thundershot hurt more than it lets on!"

The beast scowled. "True. But all damage inflicted on my body heals quickly. You'll have to do better than that if you want to defeat me!" It gestured, and a large viewscreen lowered from the ceiling. "And I should let you know that the clock is ticking!"

"Yeah, we know all about your power-up sequence, if we don't destroy that Star before it ends, you'll become invincible!" said Slugger.

"Ah, but there's more for you to worry about than just that. Take a look at this!" The screen flickered and showed an image of a very familiar blue-green planet.

"That…that's Earth!" Stitch gasped in disbelief.

"Correct! Just before I loaded my minds and souls into this body, I had the fleet set a course for Earth. According to my calculations, we will reach the planet at approximately the same time I achieve full power. Once we are in range, I'll bombard the planet with antimatter, annihilating every last trace of it!" The fiend cackled.

"But what about all the experiments still on Earth?" asked Sparky, horrified at the former doctor's plan.

The beast laughed. "Those obsolete pieces of junk? Ha! They ceased to be of use to me after I obtained their DNA sequences from Jumba's computer. Once I destroy them and the rest of your puny planet, I'll return to the Horse-head Nebula and fuse with my perfect body so I, Ultima, will be the undisputed master of the universe!"

"There's one problem with that plan," said Stitch.

"Oh? What's that?"

"We're still here. And as long as we're here, we still have a chance to take you down."

Ultima smirked. "You really think that will accomplish anything? Even if you defeat me, my back-up plan will still destroy Earth! Your peaceful little island and everyone on it will perish."

"Everyone worth saving on that planet has hopefully gotten away by now," said Stitch. "As long as they're safe, I don't care what happens to Earth. All that matters is killing you once and for all." Sparky and Slugger looked surprised by Stitch's ruthlessness.

Ultima looked proud. "Very good, 626! Killing that girl of yours seems to have reactivated some of your darker instincts! That should make this an interesting battle indeed…" It spread its arms. "It's all come down to this! The final fight between good and evil! This match will decide our destinies, 626…and I can assure you, no matter what happens, you _will_ die!"

"We'll see about that, gerbil-boy," said Slugger. "Give us your best shot!"

"Very well!" Ultima pointed its lobster claw at the trio and started charging up its flame-thrower.

Sparky winced. "Uh, Slugger? I don't think you should have said that."

The pterodactyl winked at them. "Trust me on this, guys."

Instead of firing a stream of flame, the claw spat out a humongous fireball, demonstrating that its power had risen since it had first been used, as was evident by its new projectile ability. Slugger leaped up and swung his tail at the meteoric ball of flame, deflecting it back at the startled Ultima. It quickly fired an ice rocket in an attempt to cancel out the flame. Unfortunately, the ice rocket's power had been boosted too, so instead of simply annihilating the fireball, it _froze_ it, turning it into a giant ice ball that smashed into the Star of Destiny, causing another tremendous explosion and cracked the Star a little more. Ultima roared in pain, grimacing once it had recovered. "Should have known you would do that…don't think you'll get another lucky shot like that again, though!" The metal jaws closed, sealing the Star off from the experiments. "And just in time, too!"

A yellow light lit up inside its chest. "Power-up sequence at 74%. Activating lasers."

Ultima's five eyes started crackling with energy. "Behold the power of light!" Twin laser beams shot from its left head, intersecting on the platform and burning the ground. The laser beam started moving towards the experiments, leaving a scorched trail behind it.

"I can't deflect that thing!" said Slugger.

"No worries. Hang on!" Sparky grabbed his cousins and zapped across the platform, dodging the lasers. Ultima grunted and turned towards the experiments, redirecting its beams. Sparky zapped out of the way again. "Haha! You can't catch me!"

"Oh no?" Ultima fired its lasers again. Sparky zapped an inch to the side, dodging the lasers. He quickly zapped back to where he had just been when the lasers moved, and kept shifting back and forth, frustrating Ultima and somewhat disorienting his teammates.

"Ugh…I think I'm gonna throw up…" moaned Slugger. He vomited in the middle of one of Sparky's zap jumps, causing a projectile of electrified food to shoot out and splatter in Ultima's face.

"Gah!" The monster stopped its lasers and wiped away the vomit. "That does it!" The eyes of its right head started glowing, gathering energy. Sparky continued zapping across the platform in an attempt to confuse the monster. Ultima fired a charged laser blast, which struck the section of platform Sparky had just been standing on and exploded, cracking the ground. Sparky kept jumping around, and Ultima fired blast after blast at him, constantly missing and doing more and more damage to the platform. Frustrated, the monster suddenly got a brilliant idea. It looked up and fired all its lasers at the ceiling, blowing it up and causing rubble to fall down.

Chunks of debris fell all around the platform. Some pieces hit the ground hard enough to crack it. Other pieces hit parts that were already cracked and broke them open, plummeting to the ground below. One piece of rubble just happened to fall on the lightning bolt that was Team Stitch just as they completed a zap jump, trapping them beneath its weight. "Ha!"

Suddenly, the debris lifted, raised into the air by Stitch. He hurled the hunk of metal angrily at Ultima. The monster fired its lasers at it in midair, blowing it to smithereens. "Enough of this!" Ultima slammed its lobster claw onto one end of the platform, cracking it and opening more holes. It slammed its left hand onto the other end, blocking Team Stitch as they tried to run away. Then it leaned forward, charging up its lasers. Slugger quickly grabbed Stitch and Sparky and flew into the air as Ultima fired, blasting open a large hole in the platform. As the monster looked up at the pterodactyl, charging its lasers again, Slugger quickly knocked Stitch onto the left hand and Sparky onto the right claw and flew out of the way of the blast.

Ultima noticed the experiments on its hands and flipped them over, preparing to smash them into the platform. Sparky zapped off of Ultima's hand and onto its lower arm just in the nick of time, while Stitch quickly scurried up to the top of the arm and rolled down to the elbow joint in ball form. Ultima flexed its arm in an attempt to squish Stitch, but he quickly climbed across to the other side where it was safe. Ultima had forgotten about Sparky at this point and was totally focused on crushing Stitch, allowing the electric experiment to cautiously crawl further up the arm. Ultima raised its claw to smack Stitch, but Slugger quickly flew into one of its faces, startling the monster by flapping his wings wildly and shouting. The momentary distraction was just what Stitch needed to scurry further up the monster's arm and jump over to the chest, where he clung onto the closed mouth. He quickly climbed up to the crack formed by the closed teeth while Slugger was getting snapped at by the annoyed Ultima's heads, pushed his claws into the small space, and exerted all his superhuman strength in an attempt to pry the mouth open. The jaw's hydraulics whined in protest, but Stitch ignored the noise, gritting his teeth and pushing the halves of the jaw apart with all his strength. A gap only half an inch wide opened between the teeth, but it was enough. "Sparky, now!"

Ultima noticed what was happening on its chest too late as Sparky turned into a lightning bolt and zapped into the gap between the jaws. Stitch let go of the mouth's edges, and they slammed shut. But they didn't remain that way for long. The jaws blew open as Sparky blasted the Star of Destiny, causing another explosion. Ultima reared back, roaring in pain. Stitch had gotten knocked away by the blast, but Slugger quickly caught him and flew him down to the platform, where Sparky soon joined them as he zapped out of the explosion. The trio grinned and did their victory pose, certain they had finished the creature off this time. And of course, they were wrong.

"How tough is that thing?!" said Stitch in disbelief as the smoke faded away, revealing the Star of Destiny, still not destroyed but much more cracked this time.

"Pretty tough, but I think if we can hit it with a couple more really strong attacks we'll destroy it," Sparky assured him.

"As if I would let you!" Since the hydraulics were fried, Ultima had to close the second mouth back up manually, forcing it it with his hands. Even then, it fell open a little. "I now regret allowing you a free shot when you first got up here. I overestimated the crystal's strength, I didn't think your attack would damage it at all! My mistake was in underestimating the power of your teamwork, I suppose."

"A mistake you'll regret for what little is left of your life," threatened Stitch.

The monster smirked. "We will see, little fly. We will see." The creature aimed its flame-thrower at them.

"Ha! Don't you know I'm fireproof?" said Stitch.

Ultima grinned. "Anything will burn if you make a hot enough fire!" A jet of super-hot flame streaked from the claw.

Slugger grabbed his cousins and flew over the fire stream, which hit the platform and melted a hole in it. Slugger tossed Stitch and Sparky above him, and smacked them with his bat, hurling them towards Ultima. The monster covered its chest with its hands, thinking that was the target, but it turned out to be wrong. The two balled experiments smashed into both of Ultima's heads, knocking them back and stunning them. Stitch and Sparky fell to the top of the jaw, uncurled, and started climbing down as Ultima tried to recover. This time, Stitch was the one who squeezed through the open crack and punched the Star with all his might. The explosion blew the mouth open again, caused Ultima to scream, widened the cracks in the Star of Destiny, and threw Sparky and Stitch back to the platform. Slugger caught them before they could fall into the big hole and dropped them gently on solid ground.

Getting very angry, Ultima closed the jaws again. "Let's see how you like a little deep freeze!" It pointed its left hand at them and fired ice rockets.

The experiments started doing what they usually did when being attacked by missiles. Slugger deflected them with his tail, Sparky zapped them with electric bursts, and Stitch punched them away. The rockets that were deflected hit the ground around them, causing it to become covered in ice. As Sparky sidestepped to avoid a rocket that had slipped past their defenses, he unwittingly stepped onto the ice. His foot slipped out from under him, causing him to fall on his back and start sliding away. He tried to gain purchase with his claws, but they couldn't get a grip in the ice. He looked over his shoulder and saw he was heading for the hole that had been melted in the platform. "Somebody help!" he yelled.

Stitch turned around and saw Sparky sliding to his doom. "Hang on! Slugger, cover us!" He ran onto the ice and nearly lost his footing. After wobbling, he dug his claws into the frozen ground and ran as fast as he could towards Sparky. The yellow experiment slid to the edge of the hole and started to go over, screaming. Stitch made a leap and slid forwards on his belly, digging the claws of his second set of hands into the ice to stop him as he reached the edge and hung over it, grabbing Sparky just in the nick of time. "Gotcha!"

"Yes, but I've got you!" Ultima reached down and snatched the two experiments up in its left hand. "Now to squash you like the insects you are!"

As it started to close it fist, Sparky grabbed Stitch, quickly charged him with electricity, aimed him at the fingers, and let go. Stitch rocketed at the fingers and hit them, forcing the hand open and startling Ultima. Sparky jumped out before Ultima could close the hand again, and landed on the platform next to Stitch. Frustrated, Ultima drove it fist into the frozen portion of the platform, shattering it and taking out a large chunk of the battlefield. "Why can't I kill you?!"

"Because we're Stitch Heroes! And you're not," Slugger taunted.

Suddenly, the final light on the monster's chest lit up, glowing purple. "Power-up sequence at 86%. Activating shadow engine."

Down on the floor, Finder gasped. "Oh no! Not the shadow engine! That's his deadliest weapon!" He started running toward the platform. "Come on, we've got to help them!"

"No interference!" roared Ultima. It pointed a hand at the experiments, and a dome of purplish energy suddenly surrounded them. "I'll deal with you when I'm finished with these three!" It loomed over Team Stitch, casting its shadow across the crumbling platform. "I'm almost invincible! Just a few more minutes, and then not even you can defeat me!"

"We've taken everything you've thrown at us so far! How bad can your newest weapon be?" asked Sparky.

"THIS bad!" Ultima crossed its arms, concentrating. A ring of energy balls formed from darkness manifested in front of him. It thrusted its arms' out, sending the energy balls out in wide arcs that then homed in on the experiments.

Sparky grabbed his teammates and zap jumped across the platform. To his surprise, the balls turned around in midair and kept flying towards them! "Let me handle this!" Slugger flew out towards the balls and swung his tail at the closest one. It shot back at its fellows, striking one of them and causing it to explode, triggering a chain reaction that destroyed most of the spheres. Sparky zapped a few of them with electricity, and Stitch grabbed the last one, spun around, and threw it right back at Ultima.

The monster raised a hand, blocking the attack. The sphere hit the hand and exploded, doing no damage. Ultima chuckled. "I'm so powerful now, I couldn't even feel that." It gestured, and a curtain of purple lightning formed at the end of the platform. The curtain raced towards the experiments, dancing along the floor.

Sparky grabbed the others and zapped through a gap between two lightning bolts just before the curtain could hit them, avoiding damage. Ultima didn't seem to mind, and raised its left hand, which started to crackle with dark energy. It punched the platform, causing all the cracked areas to cave in and form new cracks as a shockwave of darkness rushed out from its hand. The experiments jumped as the wave approached them, but to their surprise it flared up the instant it passed beneath them, hitting them with a burst of dark energy that shocked them and rendered them dazed for a few seconds. As they staggered about, trying to regain their senses, Ultima pointed its right claw at them, forming an especially large sphere of darkness. The ball launched from the claw, racing towards the heroes.

Slugger managed to clear his head just in time, and he jumped up and knocked the ball back at Ultima with his tail. The monster lunged forward, snapping the ball up with its left head. It reared back, then spat the sphere back out with extra power from its right head. Slugger tried to deflect this ball, but a wall of invisible force shot out of it, shoving him back as it hit the platform. The ball exploded, destroying another portion of the platform. Ultima laughed and started charging up another dark ball.

"Stitch! We don't have time to do a full-powered Thundershot, but maybe a Thunderball can take that thing out!" suggested Sparky.

"Right!" Stitch curled up and hopped into Sparky's hands. Sparky charged Stitch as much as time was allowed and hurled his blue partner at the ball of darkness. Stitch struck the ball, causing it to explode in the monster's claw. Ultima didn't look like it had felt a thing. "Was that suppose to hurt?" it asked sinisterly.

Stitch landed back on the platform, smoking strange purple fumes. "Stitch! You all right?" asked Slugger.

Stitch groaned and got back to his feet. He winced and clutched his head and ribs. "That hurt…I don't care how big the next energy ball is, I'm not getting thrown at it!"

"Are you sure?" asked Ultima, charging up a really big energy ball.

Sparky and Slugger both looked at Stitch. He shook his head. "Hell no."

"Then die!" Ultima hurled the energy ball at them. Sparky grabbed the other two and zapped across a gap to another section of platform. The energy ball impacted where they had been standing and exploded, destroying approximately half of what remained of the platform. Ultima punched the section of ground the experiments were on, sending out a shockwave. Fortunately, the wave couldn't travel over gaps, so the trio escaped by jumping over the nearest hole. The place where they had just been crumbled into the ground. Ultima gestured, sending out a curtain of lightning. Sparky zapped through the curtain and landed safely on an untouched section of platform. Unfortunately, this was what the monster wanted. Ultima smashed its claws into the platforms on either side of them, destroying them and leaving the trio trapped on a single solitary piece of land.

Slugger grabbed the shoulders of Stitch and Slugger and started to take off, but a dome of shadows formed around the platform, trapping them inside. "Blitznag."

Laughing madly, Ultima reared back, forming a spear of darkness in its left hand. "It's over!" It hurled the spear downward, missing the platform completely.

"You missed us!" cried Slugger.

Ultima chuckled. "I wasn't aiming for you!"

The spear hit the ground and exploded, sending up an immense pillar of darkness, shattering the platform from below and encompassing the trio.

"STITCH!" screamed Angel, plastering herself against the dome. The eardrum-shattering screams of pain wrenched from the poor heroes echoed across the room, rivaled only by the sound of Ultima's laughter.

After an eternity, the pillar of darkness finally narrowed, shrinking to the width of a needle and vanishing, revealing the three scorched and blackened bodies of the members of Team Stitch. Their screams had vanished with the pillar, but all five of the captive experiments could still hear their animalistic cries of anguish echoing in their minds. The three bodies seemed to hover there for a second before falling like rocks, hitting the floor hard enough to leave dents. They didn't move. "No…" whispered Finder. Clip hugged him, crying. Kixx looked away, wiping his face. Dracula stood as still and motionless as a real ninja, but anyone could see the solitary tear trickling down his face. Angel broke down and fell to the ground, sobbing.

Ultima's chest shook as it laughed, causing the metal jaws to fall open. "I've won! I'VE WON! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I suppose the powers of darkness were too strong for their mortal souls to comprehend!" It sneered as it looked at the screen showing Earth. Targeting crosshairs had appeared over it. "I'm only a few seconds away from my destiny!"

As if to confirm this, the computer said, "Power-up sequence at 99%. Initiating final countdown."

Ultima chuckled and looked down at the broken bodies of Team Stitch. "Hmm. I should probably destroy what's left of them now just in case they're still alive." It raised its hands above its heads and concentrated. A throbbing mass of darkness manifested between its claws, swelling as shadows all around the room fed it. In seconds it had grown into a tremendous mass of rippling, volatile energy. "Now, to eliminate them once and for all!" It threw the energy ball at Team Stitch.

The prisoners looked on solemnly, knowing this was the end as the huge energy ball shot towards the fallen heroes. So they were all surprised when one of the blackened figures rose to his feet and punched the energy ball with every last ounce of strength in his body, sending it right back at Ultima!

The monster gasped. "What?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The energy ball drove into the open mouth on its chest, shattering the Star of Destiny and ripping out of its back, where it shot into the roof and exploded violently, showering the room with debris.

Ultima looked down at the gaping hole in its chest in disbelief as small white fires started breaking out all over its body. "I…I lost…"

Stitch cracked a grin. "Heh. I win." His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell back to the ground.

The force field trapping the other teams vanished, and they raced over to the trio. Angel picked up Stitch's body and shook him. "Stitch! Stitch! Can you hear me?"

He groaned and opened his eyes a crack. "An…gel?"

Dracula checked Sparky and Slugger's pulses, then shook his head. "They're dead."

Kixx bowed his head in respect. "They were never as tough as Stitch…only the ultimate experiment could have possibly survived that pillar of darkness."

Angel was holding Stitch to her chest, crying with relief. "Stitch, I'm so glad you're all right…I thought for a second there you were dead."

He groaned. "Ugh…sorry to disappoint you, but I am dead. I just managed to hold on long enough to finish Ultima…now it's time for me to go."

She was shocked. "Stitch…"

He smiled sadly. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look when you cry? No? My loss." He sighed. "Before I die…I just want to say I'm sorry for breaking up with you in the first place. And…I love you." His eyes closed. He stopped breathing.

"Stitch?" Angel shook him. "Stitch?!" There was a long pause, and then she held him tighter than ever. "Stitch…"

There was a long silence. And then there was a laugh. "Heheheheheh…hahahahahaha…Bwahahahahaha…GWAHAHAHAHA!" Ultima laughed insanely as its body disintegrated, consumed from within by a ghostly fire.

"Why's it laughing?" whispered Clip.

"It's all it has left," said Dracula. "We've ruined everything, its plans, its dreams, even its life. All it can do now is laugh." Unfortunately, Dracula turned out to be completely and totally wrong.

"You…FOOLS!" Ultima cried as its body burned. "You think this means a thing?! You've accomplished nothing!" It laughed while the fire burst out of its chest. "As we speak, my mind is being copied digitally and uploaded onto the Internet! Once I die, the copy will activate online and spread like a virus, unleashing a new wave of evil upon the universe!" Its left arm became nothing but a white blaze, and flames started licking from its mouths. The experiments looked at it in horror, shocked that everything they had done, all the sacrifices they had made, had amounted to nothing. "And as for all of you…when I die, the fleet will self-destruct! Due to all the antimatter onboard, the explosion will be so powerful it'll totally annihilate the Earth and create a quantum singularity, so nothing will ever inhabit this space again!" Its eyes burned out as the fire burst out all over its heads. "So you see, despite all your best efforts, you've failed No matter how much you fight…no matter how hard you try…you can never defeat me…because I am evil itself, and _evil_…_never…**dies**!_" With one final laugh, Ultima exploded in a blast of ethereal fire. And less than a second later, the room and everything in it was annihilated in a horrific flash of light.

…

Was that good and shocking enough for you? See you at the epilogue, everyone!


	12. Never the End

It's been a long road, hasn't it? Seems like just yesterday that Stitch was kicking Gantu's patookie to save Bookworm and devouring the religious scripts of Ban-Kar, causing him to get possessed by an evil god. And now look, I've killed him. Pretty different from most writers, huh? I'd like to think I've done something original that can inspire some of the crappier writers in this section to stop writing so many Mary Sues and Gary Stus and do something worthwhile with their skills. Anyway, this is it, the ending you've all been waiting for. Is it everything you've hoped it would be? Probably not, but…we'll see, won't we? Enjoy, and thank you for sticking with me for so long, all of you.

Nukerjsr, I'm glad I've made a fan out of you, and I hope you don't mind Pokemon, because that's what the next story is all about.

Mimic12355, same to you. You're one of my older fans, and I'm glad you're still around. Good luck with your interview story, you can use any of my experiments if you want to.

Mystical Raven, what in God's name makes you think this story will have a happy ending? I've killed the main characters and set it up so that evil continues to live. If anything, this will be bittersweet or downright sad.

Mermaid Ninja, not anymore, heh heh.

Anonymous1, (It's so annoying trying to deal with two Anonymouses, so I hope you don't mind) I suppose the Justice League and the Green Lanterns might have had a chance…too bad they don't exist.

Anonymous2, I'm glad you've noticed one still lives and I hope you've realized I'm not a girl.

X, I like the sound of Team Underrated, but I doubt it would ever work. Mr. Stenchy isn't fast on his feet, Melty's wings are just for show (I think) and 625's too lazy to do anything helpful. But then again, maybe that was your intention, to have it that way. And Adolf was indeed the sorcerer who caused magic to be banned galaxywide, glad you remembered that. And I'm afraid this is it, I'm done with L&S stories after this. Hope you guys don't miss me too much!

…

The new Grand Councilwoman frowned at the sight on her viewscreen. "Are you certain we are being at the right coordinates?"

The navigator checked her console. "Yes ma'am. According to all the maps, this is where Earth is."

The Councilwoman glared at her. "Then why is there being a quantum singularity where there is supposed to be being a planet?!" She pointed out the window towards the huge gaping hole in space that sat in front of the fleet of extermination ships.

"Maybe somebody got here before we did, Your Majesty," suggested one of her aides.

The Councilwoman scowled, knowing her lackey was probably right. It was so unfair, she had wanted to see Jumba's face as she had his nasty little monsters killed herself. Sighing, she leaned back in her chair. "Very well, there is nothing more we can be doing here. Set a course back to Turo, we'll have to be telling the press that the infestation had gotten so out of hand we had to be destroying the entire planet. The plant's inhabitants had already been wiped out by the experiments, so we were unable to be finding any survivors."

"Will the public believe that?" asked the aide.

The Councilwoman shrugged. "Who is caring? What are they going to be doing if they think that I am lying, impeach me?" She laughed.

"Actually, it _is_ within the power of the people to-"

She glared at him. "Was being rhetorical question. Shut up now."

…

Houdini wiggled her feet in boredom. She had lost track of how long she had been sitting in front of the teleporter. Had it been hours? Days? She had no idea. All she knew was that she was hungry, and she could find no food anywhere. She was also lonely, for the soulless creatures around her offered little in the way of company.

She knew in her heart that her cousins would not be coming back. She had known they were doomed the instant they stepped into the teleporter. After all, how could one possibly face an evil of the magnitude Hamsterviel had revealed himself to be and walk away unscathed? True, she had made the coward's choice by staying behind, but at least she was still alive, while everyone else was dead. That was something, wasn't it?

She looked around once again at the giant room, surrounded by experiment shells and the unmoving bulk of Hamsterviel's monster and idly wondered if she had made the right choice.

…

On the Internet, surrounded by zeroes and ones, IT awakened. IT's very presence caused the fabric of reality around it to warp and bend erratically. IT looked at the world around itself and decided it was too bland. IT gestured, and the numbers around it fluctuated wildly, restructuring itself into a whole new world. A world that began to swell and expand through cyberspace, swallowing up systems and assimilating them into it's mass. IT looked at the world it had made and saw that it was good. And IT laughed.

…

Jumba sat in the cockpit of his ship, looking out the windshield and into the depths of hyperspace. He sighed and got up.

_Diary of Dr. Jumba Jookiba_

IF YOU ARE NOT BEING ME, GO AWAY

Data log entry # 318913-0526

I am being filled with much sadness. The others are asking me, "What is wrong, Jumba? Why are you being so sad?" And I laugh it off and say it is being nothing, I am just missing Earth, that is being all. And I am of course telling a lie.

He paused to look at a framed picture of himself, Lilo, and Stitch on the wall and shook his head sadly.

_How can I be telling them the truth? How can I be telling them what I have seen in my dreams? How can I be telling them that Little Girl is dead, 626 is dead, all of my other experiments are dead, that the whole Earth has been destroyed? They are already being sad enough that they are leaving the world they knew and loved behind. I cannot be telling them this. No, not until we are reaching our new home at least._

He passed through the lounge, where everyone was sleeping. Nani was leaning her head on David's shoulder, Arnold was hugging a hero sandwich and drooling on it, and Pleakley had his arms wrapped around Ben Stiller, who was still sedated from when they kidnapped him from Hollywood on the way off the planet. He would no doubt be very confused and disturbed when he woke up.

_They are all looking so happy in their slumber, close to the ones they love. If only I could be sleeping as well, without being disturbed by nightmares of Little Girl's death and the monster Hamsterviel has become. Without seeing 626's horrible sacrifice over and over again._

He walked into the laboratory, passing the container holding the hundred or so experiment pods they had found before leaving Earth. He punched in a password on a keypad, opening a door leading to the most secret part of his lab. He walked in.

_Somehow, I am knowing that this tale has not yet ended. It is only a chapter that is being completed, not the whole story. The book has closed here, and it will be opening somewhere else. And when it does, we will be being ready._

Jumba looked with pride at the prone forms held in cryogenic capsules at the back of the room, his latest experiments, each waiting to be completed. These would be the next generation of heroes, designed to combat whatever threat would manifest next.

_Until then, the ending has not yet been written._


End file.
